Hoping for a Real Friend

[crystalgaze]

There is someone who calls me almost everyday & of course, I reciprocate (by calling him as well).

I am hoping that a true friendship forms; I won't hold my breath, though.

He has expressed to me that he likes me, but I am taken already.
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I have my doubts for there really being something, as it could only be non-sexual & he wished/wishes for me.

He usually does a good job of restraining himself. However, his words give him away constantly. Now, people tease him about me.... (Oh dear)

What to do? What to do?

I stay very far away from him (knowing how he feels).

Well.... I guess I'll see how this goes....

[crystalgaze]

This particular person might very well become a good friend.

We laugh together & have such a good time.....

So far, it has been innocent enough, except for that one time when we accidentally kissed on the lips..... (That was so embarrassing.... Murghk! I was like, "No, not there....")

We joke about it now.....

He's kept me sane.....

[hollyann]

I'm glad you have him and I hope it becomes what you want for it.

[crystalgaze]

My friend wants more from me than I want from him, & I had to tell him today that I don't like or love him that way (romantically).

I mean.... It could happen, but I wouldn't be happy. It's said that opposites attract, but I think we are too different for it to work. Besides that, neither of us are prepared to settle down right now.

There are things about him I don't like (just as I'm sure there are things about me he doesn't like). There are no easy remedies/solutions for the things I don't like. Too much would have to be done on his part for me to really like him.

Well, I may not have a friend at the end of the day, but I am glad I did not step into anything I did not want to do.

I am also not encouraged by the fact that almost everyone around him is spurring him on to go with me. There's something about the whole scenario that makes me uncomfortable, that seems to be a huge red flag.

[crystalgaze]

Well, that "friend" & I don't talk anymore now. I think we might never talk again in this lifetime. That's how bad it was.

We argued for about a week straight or so. He was trying to push his way into my life, more than I needed, & that's what sparked the whole thing.

He was looking at me as "his", but it was not what I wanted. When I realized this with certainty, I pulled back quickly. The good news is that I did not have ANY KIND of sex with him (e.g. oral, taboo, regular, NOTHING), so I can walk away feeling good.

Now, we're at exactly what caused the argument (FOR HIM). What caused the argument for me was his verbal attacks. He kept trying to come over by "my" house, & I repeatedly told him "no". First of all, the "house" isn't mine. Second of all, the "house" is my sanctuary, & I do not normally allow people to come there. When I need to get away from whatever, home is where it's at for me!

Anyway, he actually blamed me for him having sex with his ex-girlfriend, which was a TOTAL ROFL & "Say what?!" in my view. According to him, I pushed him away & that's why he ended up over there. (I have never heard such BS in my life!!) I told him it was fine with me, as we aren't together & that seriously started an argument.

In the course of that argument, which he claimed was an expression of his love for me, he said one word to me that caused me to not talk to him anymore. I won't say what the word was, but basically, he was profane & cursed at me.

If you thought it wouldn't get any stranger, he later on apologized & proceeded to be all nice to me & lovey-dovey, like we're a couple--when we are not!! He begged "forgiveness", but the problem was that the damage was done. I promptly told him that there could NEVER be any kind of romantic relationship between us, due to the disrespect he had shown me. The other problem I had had with him was that he had tried to talk badly about the previous woman.

(Obviously, they had some issues. Everyone does! at some point in life! Be soft, be sweet, but be discreet! I guess he never heard the song. I had to ask him, why he went with her & stayed with her for as long as he did, if she were so "unworthy". I figured if he were trying to talk about her badly, then he would do the same thing to me some day, too..... I don't know all what went on, but I had to defend her.... I think he was hurt by some of what happened, but I'd just much prefer that he say that vs. trying to talk badly about her.)

Of course, I do my best not to hold strains with people, as it is bad for my health. He was already forgiven, but I was not allowing him back in my life.

That word was the final straw. He had done some smaller things that I told him I didn't like, which for some of them he had respected. What a messed up situation it was....

It is unfortunate that he doesn't seem to know himself very well or if he does, can't admit his true feelings & follow them. You see, his previous girlfriend is a much older woman. He has gotten a lot of flack for going with her, & well, it's kind of annoying for me how he couldn't just stand up & be a man about it. In other words, he did not often tell people where to go (to F off & that it's none of their business). Instead, he allowed them to comment on his life, which caused problems. A lot of people laughed at him for it, from what I could tell.

From the looks of it, the only thing that is wrong with her is that she can't have anymore children, due to age & not taking care of herself well enough. (The one thing I heard him say that he didn't like about her was that she doesn't eat well to maintain her health.)

However, I think the two of them seem to have some kind of bond or something/addiction/obsession/desperation/starvation/whatever, since he keeps going back to her. I told him that he just needs to stay with her & be done. They seem to be perfect for each other!!

I forgot to mention that the argument made me very ill.... I have been recovering from the after effects. The tile on the floor even picked that time to crack in the back room..... Oh well....

[crystalgaze]

That "friend" really was not a friend. He only came around me because he was looking for a girlfriend, which I had told him upfront that I could not help him with that.

Still, he persisted & it maybe was yesterday or so, that I got so fed up with his antics that I told him, "I have a man, & that I don't want any confusion."

Let's just say he stopped calling, just like that. Good riddance, I say!

He was causing me stress with the whole us being together & wanting to see me stuff. I mean, a day couldn't go by without him pushing his aim....

There is a woman, who once said to me: If a man can't be my friend, he can't be my lover/husband/man/boyfriend.

He proved he could not be my friend (without strings attached). He even went on to say that all the time we had been talking was not "PROFITABLE" to him. Tell me if that isn't sick!

It was an absurd thing. He wanted what he wanted, & yet he had no intention of doing anything for me or helping me.... Totally in left field....