The Man Rules ((((((((((( Obayan ))))))))))

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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The Man Rules ((((((((((( Obayan ))))))))))

Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Thu Mar 10, 2011 4:25 pm

(((((((((( Obayan ))))))))))) thanks for sharing and the laughter.

The Man Rules.... At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " the rules" From the female side....

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football, Hockey, Hunting, or Fishing.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Warmie 8)

TackingIntoTheWind
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Joined: Sat Nov 21, 2009 11:35 am
Location: South Wales

Postby TackingIntoTheWind » Sat Mar 12, 2011 11:59 am

Although, of course, men do vary slightly from place to place, and culture to culture...
So, may I offer some " Man Rules " variations for women to bear in mind when dealing with Welsh men...

The Welsh, being a poetic and sensitive race and also being perfect, ( Welsh = perfect, perfect = equals Welsh. :wink: ), a woman CAN bring a Welsh man a problem and actually get sympathy. HOWEVER, while a Welsh man can restrain his " problem-solving side " and just give a woman sympathy, he will need a certain amount of occasional reassurance that the sympathy is actually helping, and that he isn't " failing as a man " because the woman's problem remains unsolved at the end of the " sympathy exercise. " ( VERY IMPORTANT: men really are geared more for problem-solving than sympathy, the sympathy that a woman gets even from a Welsh man may be of slightly lower quality than a woman may get from a female friend. DO NOT let the man realise this, he's operating waaaay out of his comfort zone. :? Please try to make the best of the sympathy he gives you until you can get " top up " sympathy from a female friend later, if needed.

Welsh male geeks, like myself, watch a lot of DVDs, so waiting for commercial breaks to talk isn't always applicable. HOWEVER, a woman who feels the need to communicate with me when I am watching a DVD might well find it useful to adhere to the following protocols:

1. Given that the industry standard for an episode of a TV series on DVD tends to be 42 minutes, can the matter wait until the end of the episode? At which time the woman's subject of conversation can form the next order of business, rather than me starting to watch another episode or another DVD.

2. If not, and the matter is relatively straightforward, ask the male geek to pause the DVD to resolve the matter, the episode can then be restarted.

In the event of a severe crisis that requires immediate communication, the woman needs to state CLEARLY, and UNAMBIGUOUSLY that the matter is IMPORTANT and stopping the episode NOW is ESSENTIAL. I am boundlessly fond of the women in my life, I truly like, respect and value them. HOWEVER, I'M A GEEEEEEEK!!!! :roll: :wink: Once I get caught up in a re-reun of Star Trek, Doctor Who, Buffy, etc...I will need a woman to get my attention if she wants to talk! :roll:

Given that very few Welsh men can find their way around any part of Wales apart from the area they were born in, we do need directions sometimes. HOWEVER, we will NOT admit this!!!! :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: However, just make the directions seem like our idea, and we'll follow them like a lamb... :D

Welsh men, having been at least semi-civilized by strong Welsh Mothers, do understand that women can never have too many clothes or shoes. HOWEVER, don't expect us to understand WHY buying clothes and shoes is so important to women. A man accompanying a woman on a clothes/shoes shopping expedition is like a deaf man accompanying a hearing woman to a concert. He likes to see her happy, even if he genuinely can't understand why... :? :? :? :?

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Sat Mar 12, 2011 2:55 pm

(((((((((( TackingIntoTheWind )))))))))))))))

Laughing so hard it hurts. Thanks for the add ons.

Warmie


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