More things have come to light.
He said to me today, "Nobody comes first before my children."
That can be understandable. However, I don't want to be treated like I am nothing or that I/my feelings don't matter or that I am not important. I believe this may have been what was happening. Still, it's a bit foggy....
I am trying to piece this whole situation together to see it clearer, so I can avoid it in the future!! (I certainly don't want that again.)
It's hard when your partner won't listen to what you have to say. More than that, it's an even bigger problem when that person won't sit down to work through the rough spots we all hit in a relationship. It takes effort--anything in life that you want!!
The thing is: If all parties involved aren't willing to at least come to the table, I'm not sure it can work ever. One person can't do everything. Furthermore, you can't all be on the same page, if everyone doesn't come to the table to know what went on and was said!!
I don't mind that nobody comes before his children, but I don't think I am wrong for my perspective, which is:
1. It should not be at my expense.
What I encountered was someone who would do for everyone else at my expense--doing errands for others and not putting gas in my car. (Don't worry; it didn't happen all the time. I take the time to look at things, see how they play out, instead of jumping to a conclusion that could be wrong. They serve as acid tests and concrete evidence in the end.)
I am a kind person, but it is a hard time with the economy the way it is. Gas for the car at half a tank is anywhere between $30 to $40 weekly, even with minimal driving and provided it doesn't rain. Most times, I don't even put on the AC.
2. If he calls me to spend time with me, then that's exactly what we should be doing, and I should have his undivided attention. At some point, I should be a priority, and it would be all good.
3. I don't have any children, so I should not have to be involved in any issues, other than a shoulder to lean on, if that's needed. (e.g. "Oh man, things are tough.") Since I don't have that kind of experience, I doubt I would know how to handle the situation.
Also, why would I want to be waiting outside my boyfriend's former lover's house--under any circumstances?! What woman in her right mind can honestly say that that would not bother her in some way, even if the guy is not having sex with the former lover now?!
Unhealthy, unhealthy, unhealthy.... Yes and I know.... That's why it has ended.
Well, I think I learned a thing or two. My evil streak / flip mode side is still intact. I am a fighter! My fighting spirit has not gone anywhere! I might just make it through everything that's happened--even from since 6 years ago.
