I am nothing ,alone/goodnight

[xn728]

i have,nt been here for a while ,but i found the way in ok .
theres nothing in here no floor ceiling or walls ,
i cant see its so dark ,but i feel my way around ,its cold here ,
not freezing ,but no warmth.i move a little further and feel ,around
ah yes the visitor is here always here .but im not afraid in here ,
it has no power here and can only watch ,no threats or nasty replays.
i can only come here when i feel absolute sadness,and lonelyness,as i
do now .i must find
my way to the place were i can lay alone covered in the calm protective
cover of my own sadness i move a little further,carefully so not to disturb
anything ,in this place witch has no begining and no end ,no boundries ,
yet it is full of so many lost feelings,dreams that started when i was a child
but never ended ,mixed with nightmares and transformed into unmensionable horrors
witch will only end when the flow of electrical impulses cease to light my brain ,
not far now ,i can feel him now ,he wont wake even though he knows im here .
for russ is in his time still ,in his small bed in the bedroom in the house ,
he would destroy in years to come .i lay down on the bed now ,so close but ,
so many years apart,i dare look towards the door and the visitor is there just
as it apeared all those years ago ,and i thought it was my nana watching over me .
poor innocent child ,will russ die with me ,or will he lay here forever.
im at peace now ,when sadness consumes me like this it makes me numb and i dont care .
so watch me now dark sentinal ,while i lay with russ and the blanket of sadness you
sent to hurt me covers my broken body while i rest, for in sorrow i am free,
i will rise in the morning to your gift of pain ,but when the sadness comes calling ,
i will rest again ,xn728,russ goodbye ,goodnight my dear dear freinds onika warmie girl
,,,,,,,,,,,,ken

[shatteredhopes]

...a nice way with words. This post is kind of like a freewrite poetry. Full of melancholy, but so beautiful at the same time. Rich words my friend.

You are not alone, you have us. You have your family. Good for you for embracing the "visitor" and accepting. I fight it, with all my being, but often it wins. It is much more powerful than I am. What my mind knows my feelings cannot accept, and I become overwhelmed with emotion and the chemistry of my brain....

[Mich]

I am struck by what a powerful writer you are. You are blessed with this talent.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((((((( Ken ))))))))))))))))))))))

Out of the darkness, into the light. See me now? Hope today is a better one for you.

Warmie

[xn728]

thankyou warmie girl ,hurts so much today my stomach consumes my internal orghans im sure ,sat and cryed in the rain today like a lonley old hobo ,no light just yet ,just to fade away no more pain ,
you are kind warmie ,night now ,girl,,,,,,,,,ken

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((((((((((( Ken )))))))))))))))))))

Sleep well dear friend. Good thoughts coming to you.

Warmie

[xn728]

so few words ,but from a source so kind ,im desroying myself and cannot stop forgive me dear freind ,im trying but losing ,i cant stand up if i cant stand up i cant fight ,,,,,,ken

[Mich]

Fight Ken fight....with everything you've got. Look deep inside and call on that inner strength that I know you have. As you have done for me so many times, let me carry some of your burden today.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((((((((((( Ken ))))))))))))))

Draw from our strength for you. You wouldn't let us stop fighting, so we will stand by you.

Warmie