a gift from within/O, a gift to us all

[xn728]

i reached inside and found a gift was it a bad gift or a good gift ?

it was a good gift when it arrived i dont know but it was with me when i woke ,so was the visitor but it did not pull all the strings today ,the gift was opened and it had given the day to me ,i wasnt frightened suprised maybe but not scared i did things today that i thought i may never do again ,smiled ,enjoyed and took in good memories witch i will store and use as needed, myself and my wife and of course the visitor went to the local water park and fed the swans and ducks ,we took photos and walked in a strange but familiar world .the visitor was not invited i made it come it was in my grip today and it would go were i took it ,it did not like to see me smile or see my wife look at me and relise the person she had lost did still exist we took photos of each other and she said that i looked ok and i had lost that grey complextion ,i know what she means when i look in the mirror its like seeing death ,we used to go swimming but as i became ill i stopped going ,i used to joke ,if we went in the water ,someone would think there was a corpse in the pool .anyway back to today after the park i was feeling ok so .as i work at an animal rescue center we would go and take some dogs for a walk we also enjoy this im still feeling ok now im not worryed about tommorrow if the visitor has me tommorrow then so be it ,but it was a prisoner in my world today and it didnt find it comtorble, i think that the gifts inside are given to us so we can use them to produce a period /a reliase if you like it set us free and gives us hope. never give up if you have a gift open it and use it for as long as it lasts dont worry about tommorrow ,today is yours .never give up your life the visitor will leave you as the last breath leaves your body .and will then look for another victim .stay with it i know its so painful ,the visitor may have you but as long as your alive it cant move on stay in the fight and dont let go ,i have only been coming on here for 4 days now but it makes me feel good to write things it may sound weird but its seen in my eyes. so theres another gift that i have been given .being deppressed make me compassionet,and caring i understand about life and other peoples problems ,there you go another gift and then last but not least theres all of you people i dont even know .but your there now and i feel better for that fact ,so maybe you gave me the gift today .THANKYOU.

[crystalgaze]

Yeah... we really must stay in the fight....

I think I gave myself a gift today....

Well, this will sound silly but I turned on the lights in the house for a little bit.... since I have been avoiding going outside....

I don't usually turn on the light.... I'm always thinking the neighbors across the street are spying on us.... (They're sneaky & they give me the creeps....)

I also put in some dangling earrings I have.... Surprisingly, they comfort me.... so I think I'll have to wear the more often.... I don't know how to describe it... but I feel like a human being when I wear them & don't feel as depressed....

[xn728]

ONIKA ,i cant stop long just now ,i will speak more later ,all those wonderful replys to some of my posts you really are a treasure ,i hope your feeling better today ,and those earrings look great ,i feel privilaged and overwhelmed to be your freind .you give so much ,yet ask for nothing . i will pray to my god ,that life will hold better things for you soon
,,,,,,,,ken xn728

[Mich]

Hi Ken - I have never really thought about the fact that depression might give me a gift but I suppose you are right....more compassion could be an outcome. You certainly have a lot of compassion and caring for others. I wish you well today.

[xn728]

yes mich ,you will find these gifts inside you ,you give them to us with your kind words ,and dont even know it ,i have watched your pain mich since you came on here ,and you are giving more now ,and this makes me happy ,you can make progress without even knowing ,ive felt a little bit YAPPH TODAY but i darent say it ,so i mixed up the letters ,tommorrow i may feel crap ,but todays lift will carry me on through it ,we all have a special bond here mich ,dont ever give up ,
,,,,KEN ,,,,,,,XN728