I feel like I’m slowly disappearing and I don’t know how to stop it

[1v1lolonline]

Hi… I’m not really sure how to start this, but I guess I just need to get it out somewhere.

Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m fading out of my own life. I still go through the motions—wake up, check my phone, try to do what I’m supposed to do—but none of it feels real or meaningful anymore. It’s like I’m watching myself from the outside, and I don’t recognize who I’ve become.

I used to care about things. I had interests, I could laugh, I had at least some motivation. Now everything feels heavy and pointless. Even small things like replying to messages or getting out of bed feel exhausting. I’ll sit there for hours telling myself “just get up,” but my body doesn’t listen.

One thing that’s really bothering me is how disconnected I feel from people. I have friends and family, but I don’t feel close to anyone anymore. When I’m around them, I feel like I’m pretending to be normal. I smile and respond, but inside I feel empty. And when I’m alone, it’s even worse because my thoughts just spiral.

I keep thinking about how I used to be and wondering what went wrong. There wasn’t one big event—it’s like things just slowly got darker over time. Now I wake up already tired, and I go to sleep feeling like I didn’t really live the day at all.

I’ve also noticed I’m avoiding everything. I put things off, ignore responsibilities, and then feel even worse about myself for doing that. It’s like I’m stuck in this loop where I can’t move forward but I also can’t relax.

I don’t really know what I’m asking for. Maybe I just want to know if anyone else has felt this way and managed to get out of it. How do you deal with feeling so disconnected and unmotivated all the time? How do you even start fixing things when everything feels overwhelming? 1v1 lol