1. You wake up face down on the pavement.
2. You jump out of bed in the morning and miss the floor.
3. You turn on the morning news, and they're showing emergency routes out of your city.
4. Your bar of Ivory soap sinks.
5. You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
6. The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
7. Your horn gets stuck when you're following a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
8. You get to work and there's a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your outer office.
9. Your four-year-old wakes you up with the news that it's almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet.
10. Your boss tells you not to bother to remove your coat.
11. Your pet rock snaps at you.
12. Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
13. You wake up to discover that your water bed broke, and then realize that you don't have a water bed.
14. Your income tax refund check bounces.
15. Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate.
16. Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse.
Warmie
