shattering self-doubt...

[sad_steffy]

I'm wondering if anyone else can share with me their experience of extreme self-doubt, and perhaps offer some coping advice.basically, I am in a position right now where i simply cannot believe anything positive that anyone says about me.I constantly worry over whether or not my boyfriend will lose interest in me and become tempted by another, more confident, woman's advances.all the time i'm feeling depressed and anxious i cannot be the confident woman that i am sure he would love me to be, and i put myself under immense pressure to TRY and act confident when inside i am breaking.I never feel like i deserve him, let alone anyone else.It as though I am convinced that i have no personality,just a mass of negative thoughts.I can't stop comparing myself to others, especially my friends-it's all i can think about and as a result I end up daydreaming whenever i am out cos then at least i can make up some shit about being tired and not have to talk for fear of sounding/acting stupid....everything i do or say seems to embarrass me and I can't deal with it anymore.I'm numb.

[TackingIntoTheWind]

I have to admit that fairly industrial-sized self-doubt is definitely a part of my depression. Although, not so much in terms of a relationship, more in terms of doubts about my own self-worth and ability to cope with " the world " in general.
As to coping strategies, I can only offer a few thoughts off the top of my head, but they work to keep me sane(ish! )
If you're like me you do a lot of what in UK mental-health-speak is termed " catastrophising ". An important part of managing my own depression/anxiety better has been learning to " train " my thoughts and feelings into a more positive/realistic frame of mind. I have found that doing that, at least as well as I can manage at any given time, helps keep my depression/anxiety on a more even keel. ( Although, it can feel like learning a foreign language sometimes, it does get easier with practice! )
Also, I remind myself, particularly when I'm feeling quite low, that things are rarely, if ever, as irretrievably and utterly unsalvageable as they may feel. " While hopes may be dupes, fears may be liars. " When I'm feeling most dpressed and vulnerable, I hang on to the idea that if a take a breath, give myself time to come down " off the ceiling ", I CAN, with help, salvage the situation and at least keep the hope of better days.
Oops, " chucking-out " time in the library, got to go.
Please take care of yourself, you are NO LESS worthy or valuable than any other human being