Things learned from having children

Off-and-on topics to brighten your day. Please feel free to comment upon what you've read.

Moderator: Moderators

User avatar
Warmsoul/Jeanie13
Posts: 29195
Joined: Mon Jun 05, 2006 8:46 pm
Contact:

Things learned from having children

Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Thu Feb 18, 2010 4:24 pm

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.

For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

For those who have not yet had children, this is reason for second thoughts!

Things I've Learned From My Children (Honest and No Kidding)

A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20X20 foot room.

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's already too late.

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year- old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

Super glue is forever.

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute response time.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy and cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

These came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX (poor woman!)

Warmie 8)

TackingIntoTheWind
Posts: 1060
Joined: Sat Nov 21, 2009 11:35 am
Location: South Wales

Postby TackingIntoTheWind » Fri Feb 19, 2010 11:12 am

Well, if that's what family life is like, I'm staying single!!!!

User avatar
Warmsoul/Jeanie13
Posts: 29195
Joined: Mon Jun 05, 2006 8:46 pm
Contact:

Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Fri Feb 19, 2010 11:13 am

((((((((((((((( TackingIntoTheWind ))))))))))))))))))))

LOL, don't let this post swag you. Not all children are like that.

Warmie :wink:

TackingIntoTheWind
Posts: 1060
Joined: Sat Nov 21, 2009 11:35 am
Location: South Wales

Postby TackingIntoTheWind » Fri Feb 19, 2010 11:32 am

Oh.....I don't know! My younger sister nearly gave my parents gray hairs!
On one occasion she found my Mother's carefully hidden sleeping pills and took some of them. My Mother told me to hang on to her so she wouldn't lose me, grabbed my sister and dashed to a local hospital. Where my poor sister had to have her stomach pumped! I was about 5 years old at that time? But I still remember being in that hospital and holding on to my Mother's dark-red woolen cardigan, on the right side of it near a pocket.
I have to admit that I rather view being a parent the same way that I regard joining the military. I'm glad that other people are courageous enough to do it so that I don't have to!

User avatar
Warmsoul/Jeanie13
Posts: 29195
Joined: Mon Jun 05, 2006 8:46 pm
Contact:

Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:04 pm

((((((((((((( TackingIntoTheWind ))))))))))))))

Sorry you have that memory.

Must say I do believe children are gifts, in some way, they truly are.

Warmie

TackingIntoTheWind
Posts: 1060
Joined: Sat Nov 21, 2009 11:35 am
Location: South Wales

Postby TackingIntoTheWind » Sat Feb 20, 2010 9:26 am

Seriously though folks..... Yes, you are right about children being gifts.
Although, I wonder if I could cope with the sheer anxiety of being a parent, particularly in a world that often seems more threatening and complex than when I was a child.
I have a wry suspicion that I would be the ultimate over-protective parent!

User avatar
Warmsoul/Jeanie13
Posts: 29195
Joined: Mon Jun 05, 2006 8:46 pm
Contact:

Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Sat Feb 20, 2010 1:19 pm

((((((((((((((((( TackingIntoTheWind ))))))))))))))))))))))

You would be a wonderful parent, you are loving and caring, and you are aware of the surroundings of today's life.

Warmie


Return to “Warmsoul's Corner”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 173 guests