Hello, earth to beyond and Trigger warning for those who need it

[Feelingsareweird2]

I posted a lengthy letter on here a few weeks ago, detailing my experiences with COCSA and how it made me feel...how it affected me. Hours went by before I deleted it and I sort of regret it. I still have the letter but, I don't think I'll ever repost it because I'm ashamed of other people knowing so much about me. When I posted it, it felt like a huge weight off of my shoulders. For a few hours I forgot about it, and when I did remember, my heart dropped thinking others knew. But now it's all inside me again, all the words and feelings I wanted to let out.

I wonder if I'll lash out or if I will keep it inside for a while longer. Either way, I don't want to tell anybody, the shame is all encompassing. The confusion my experience made me undergo, it all attests to issues I have now. The forced closeness and all.

I read up about it on reddit. Another person had asked if their experience could be considered assault, and what to do. And I was so happy, I cried at all the supportive messages. So many people, so many responses telling them that their feelings are valid, that they have a right to feel violated because it was a traumatic experience, no matter how small. I felt so free. But now I'm all curled up again, like my feelings were stuffed in a jar and the lid was screwed on tight. Like, the jar is too full and each emotion pushes against each other, making a pressure that's bound to make the glass crack before it all bursts out. Yea, pressure. I feel pressure inside me.

[lucasdowman]

You don’t have to carry this alone forever; when you’re ready,Slope Game consider reaching out to a trauma-informed therapist who can help you gently untwist that pressure, one layer at a time.

[nevisalexander]

Thank you for sharing your feelings so openly. It's completely understandable to feel conflicted about expressing such personal experiences. Remember, your emotions are valid, and it's okay to seek support when you're ready. You're not alone in this, and there are people who care and want to help. Take your time, and be gentle with yourself. dummies world cup

[dazzle]

Its great to see that anyone can share his or her feeling openly in this forum.