The vioce ripped through me as the visitor spoke

[xn728]

it was just turning dusk ,i sat in my garden watching the large starling taking a bath in the small birdbath
we have in the garden .it spalshed around exitedly .the other birds in the hedge chirped loudly as if they were having
fun to .it was then the Visitor spoke to me ,it was a voice i recognised,nothing like i had ever imagined it would
sound like ,but one i knew very well.gently it said ,the creature you take pleasure in watching now is nothing to
you ,why does it give you that feeling inside .this feeling we share ,but has no place in the life i map for you,
because it is happy and free ,it can fly high and can enjoy the treats i leave for it .again the visitor spoke
in that gentle vioce,so is this the compassion you hold for all things man and beast .again i answered it,my lips
did,nt move but it hears my words .i told it i have compassion for everything ,you gave it to me when you took
me all those years ago ,it is born of the pain and torment i have shouldered from being seven years old ,i looked
at the visitor ,reached into the darkness with my eyes ,and said i know you have more pain for me ,its the reason
you exist,but with each gift of pain you bring to me ,i will also recieve the gift of compassion .
the visitor ever still, spoke gently once more ,i almost broke down when i heard the vioce again .but i held back
the tears.it knew how great the pain was. it said i will take that sorry creature to the place of darkness were
you now spend your days ,it bathes in the happiness now ,but tommorrow when the dawn chorus begins ,it will be
absent forever ,never to bathe or take the food you offer so freely .it will fly as it should but it will only fly
in perpetual darkness with the demons of hell for company ,its tiny mind will know only pain that will never rest
as is life will never end .those tiny wings will carry it through pain for all eternety,but for you i will leave
you in peace ,when you wake in the morning i will have been carried away on those same wings climbing into the
darkness with my new host .you will be happy ,your emotions i have in my grip will return to you ,and you will
learn to love life again .and we will walk together no more ,such a small price for freedom ,so how does your
compassion feel now .i looked at the starling ,it was preening itself stood on the egde of the bath now .
the smaller sparrows were taking turns now ,whilst the starling was in there he has kept them out till he was done
again my lips didnt move but the visitor heard my answer,that creature of witch we discuss has a life .we share
the same world ,it thinks as i do and it feels pain and happiness,it is no less worthy than i .when it wakes in
the morning it will sing out loud and no matter how far away it is i shall hear it song and the compassion in me
will give me that feeling you dont like ,so you may feel a little pain to .the gentle vioce of the visitor ripped
through me again it told me ,when i took you at seven years i had come from your mother .she felt well that morning
as she woke ,after 20 years with me ,and was happily unaware i was grooming her young son for better things ,
she remained happy till that day 11 years later when you were 18 and you destroyed all she had ever worked for
and remains unhappy now that son never can bear to visit her .
so you are her depprestion ,you are the stroke she had 2 years ago ,and you are the overdose she took 8 weeks ago
you are a greater demon than i and the vioce i use to cut through you like a knife .the only one you have .maybe i should let you rest and ,i will visit
one of your children as i did with your mother spend tonoight with that
thought .the visitor stood in silence as i looked towards it once again and
said ,this is something i dont fear as the love i have given them has been
far greater than anything i ever knew,they only know the father who
repairs thier cars ,and decorates there homes and makes them laugh
so much ,i give them everything and ask for nothing .so go ahead try ,you will never penatrate the sheild of love i gave them ,but while you
waste your time trying i may rest anyway .and when you fail you may
feel the dissapiontment i suffer at your hands .you must remain with
me and we will finish this journey together,, xn728 Ken

[crystalgaze]

This is powerful.....

It feels like the battle I had today & for the last few days....


Whatever it was, it was winning for a moment.... & I wasn't sure what I would do....

I managed to pull through it.... You've helped a lot...!

[xn728]

i,m glad you feel better ,i dont like it when i know someones suffering ,
if the space that you occupy here were to be empty ,
i think i would leave and close the door behind me ,i was in trouble last wk ,end and you helped me stand up ,im glad i could do the same for you
,,,,,,,,later ken xn728