no one to talk too

[Mago2498]

its sucks to feel like this have no one to talk to no one to have anything in common with even ur significant other you cant share your feelings with them because if you do they just throw back to u when there mad i cant talk to my own parents because they wont understand and will just say oh its because you do not work and your just bored ur not depressed even though i was told by a doctor that i do have depression i cant tell my family at all or else i will get judged it feels like i can scream it to the whole world and even though the world hears me scream they will not do anything to help me . its like im drowning and no one wants to save me i wake up every morning wishing i didnt wake up i have tried to hang myself cut myself and take pills but everytime i do i just chicken out i wish i had the courage to end my life because it only seems to be getting worse idk what to do whats wrong with me i dont understand what am i doing wrong even when i told my husband how i felt he says u have issues ur crazy but then he will say im joking who jokes about this how is this even funny when im crying for help i really just want to give up in life whats the point anymore im so tired of it

[Olive]

Hi Mago

I am so sorry to hear about everything going on in your life. You are so strong and resilient for still going on and your posting here just shows you’ve got a little more fight in you.

If you can, maybe you consider asking your doctor for medicine or try and start therapy. Those can be life saving, and changing.

When I have suicidal thoughts and ideations, it’s usually because I want relief, not because I want to die, so please try to get some relief in any way possible. I am so sorry your family and husband aren’t being supportive. Your husband should be standing with you through this and it is his failure that he is not taking care of the person he pledged to stay with in health and in sickness. Don’t blame yourself because they can’t see what is going on. You are entitled to empathy and care and I hope you find it.

You’re so brave. Please keep going

You can look for facebook groups, too maybe, or find chat rooms for better ways to chat with people about this. That has always been where I found the people that would weather the darkest nights with me.

Feel free to send me a PM ^.^

[markrzad]

Thank you Mago for being brave enough to share your story here.

This is a safe place for you and your feelings. There are people here who understand what depression is and how it is important for others to understand. Here you will find that understanding and not have to feel like you are alone.

I wish your family and husband would understand what you are going through in your depression, but sometimes spouses just don't know what to do and or what to say.

My wife went through a depression when she was a teenager and is on medication until now (43 years old) and even then, while I am going through my depression, she doesn't understand the depths of what I'm feeling. I have since started writing and giving her those writings so she can better understand what it is I'm going through. Sometimes putting things down on paper helps to put things in perspective for others...while also working through your own thoughts and feelings at the same time.

I am on medication which has helped as well I go to therapy so I have someone to talk to about my depression. As Olive has suggested you may want to seek out these options as a relief to your depressive mood, as I know it has been extremely helpful to me.

Sending hugs your way.

MarkRzad

[teatimefriend]

Hi Mago, I know how you feel. I got an anxiety and depression for many years and got climaxed two years ago. It surprised my husband and my two teenagers. They did not know how to talk to me and at the same time, I did not know how to communicate my feeling with them. You are not alone. Many people experience the same condition as you. Anxiety and depression are real and ugly. That is what I could say. But people don't understand it. Have you tried to slowly tell your feeling and thought to your husband? I told my husband that sometimes I had a weird thought that he might not understand. But I did not ask him to understand me. I only needed him to be there when it hit me and assured me that it was not real and everything would be ok and that I would be just fine. Would you like to try to talk to a psychologist? I found this article that may give you some insight about our condition. https://list.ly/list/1CE4-looking-up-fr ... n-darkness
Please be patient with yourself. I hope you feel better soon.

[ImJohn]

Hi Mago, it's john again.

I hope you're feeling a little less alone and with no one to talk to or care about you now you've seen some of the great replies to your post.

I don't think I can add anything to the advice you've already been given BUT I can add my support and sympathy too of course.

However, I do have a message for those around you who are basically in denial about the reality and seriousness depression in general. Tell them to imagine being tied to a stake and whipped until the flesh was torn from their back and that the whipping would continue until they lost consciousness from the pain (or the loss of blood). They'd be permanently scarred after this torture as well. Now ask them would any of them go through that voluntarily. I bet they wouldn't. But those of us who have been depressed would IF we were guaranteed never to feel as we do when we're in those dark holes we all know about ever again.

They, and especially your husband, need to get it through their thick skulls that the situation you are in is no joke. I have been regarded as a pretty courageous person but depression got me even though I was a proud man who refused to be put down by anybody. It drains you completely then kicks and kicks and kicks some more. Tell him that from a fellow man. Then tell him from me to have the courage to recognise how much he'll have to give to see you through these dark times.

Good luck to you both

John

[ToGoFruit]

its sucks to feel like this have no one to talk to no one to have anything in common with even ur significant other you cant share your feelings with them because if you do they just throw back to u when there mad i cant talk to my own parents because they wont understand and will just say oh its because you do not work and your just bored ur not depressed even though i was told by a doctor that i do have depression i cant tell my family at all or else i will get judged it feels like i can scream it to the whole world and even though the world hears me scream they will not do anything to help me . its like im drowning and no one wants to save me i wake up every morning wishing i didnt wake up i have tried to hang myself cut myself and take pills but everytime i do i just chicken out i wish i had the courage to end my life because it only seems to be getting worse idk what to do whats wrong with me i dont understand what am i doing wrong even when i told my husband how i felt he says u have issues ur crazy but then he will say im joking who jokes about this how is this even funny when im crying for help i really just want to give up in life whats the point anymore im so tired of it

Hey, I'm so sorry the actions of others have left you feeling alone and unwanted...I'm sorry the pain has been so deep that ending your life feels like the logical solution...or perhaps, the only thing that might provide relief. How you've been cared for isn't right and I know that hurts. Would you be interested in reaching out to a counselor? Sometimes a third party is exactly what we need...an objective person removed from the situation. You're not crazy and the things your battling need to be addressed...it just might require you seeking help outside this circle. I want you to know you're incredibly worth it. None of your tears have gone unaccounted for and the pain inside has not gone unseen. Thank you for reaching out here--as previously mentioned, we see the fight in you still...keep leaning into that, okay? We're here for you and we're in your corner.