I joined this site months ago, have not posted since as it has been too difficult to do anything but get through the days. Am still seeing a very good therapist (every 2 weeks now). Amoung everything else I am wondering what is next. I feel like I should put on the "I'm all better now" coat and move on....put this last 2...? 3 years in a box, tape it shut and stop focusing on me stuff.
It is strange but I look around at my family, friends and work and my inside person just says "nothing matters. Time to give up thinking they do." (No I am not hearing voices...just a dispondent inner self)
Thinking if I stop seeing her, stop the meds (Zoloft)....everything will go away.....
What happens after "therapy" is finished?
Moderators: Sunlily92, windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
Re: What happens after "therapy" is finished?
Hi DDJ
I suggest you take your medication and stop thinking too much of it. Please do NOT tell people (especially your bosses and co-workers) that you suffer from depression because they WILL discriminate against you, even your boyfriends and girlfriends....trust me, they will judge you and make you feel more bad of yourself. I speak of experience....not a lot of people these days know that I struggle with it and now I get to be treated normal with respect.
If you want to talk, rather talk to strangers like me and others on this site - just to vent.
Luckily I have a great sense of humor, even if I cry inside....I look for the beauty in everything (not PERSONS because they disappoint me), I take my mobile phone outside and take random pictures of my garden of other gardens or flowers and my pets and share it with some family and discuss it rather than how I feel...I write privately my heart out in poems and put it away so that I don't see it again, maybe later when I come across it again and thinks differently about it.
Please never try suicide, you will hurt your family and yourself and life is too beautiful. There WILL be episodes that you'll feel very bad again and maybe even that it is the end of the word. Take yourself outside and sit in the sun a bit, because vitamin D makes you feel better. Take vitamin supplements for stress and try to exercise regularly to look better and feel better.
What helps the BEST for ME - crying!!! every day....afterwards you feel your feeling is done and dusted. Like I said, don't let anyone into your "mood secret"....smile to everyone in the street to get smiles back....you might just brighten another sad person's day as well.
It will not be a quick fix, but keep your dignity and your head up!!!
I suggest you take your medication and stop thinking too much of it. Please do NOT tell people (especially your bosses and co-workers) that you suffer from depression because they WILL discriminate against you, even your boyfriends and girlfriends....trust me, they will judge you and make you feel more bad of yourself. I speak of experience....not a lot of people these days know that I struggle with it and now I get to be treated normal with respect.
If you want to talk, rather talk to strangers like me and others on this site - just to vent.
Luckily I have a great sense of humor, even if I cry inside....I look for the beauty in everything (not PERSONS because they disappoint me), I take my mobile phone outside and take random pictures of my garden of other gardens or flowers and my pets and share it with some family and discuss it rather than how I feel...I write privately my heart out in poems and put it away so that I don't see it again, maybe later when I come across it again and thinks differently about it.
Please never try suicide, you will hurt your family and yourself and life is too beautiful. There WILL be episodes that you'll feel very bad again and maybe even that it is the end of the word. Take yourself outside and sit in the sun a bit, because vitamin D makes you feel better. Take vitamin supplements for stress and try to exercise regularly to look better and feel better.
What helps the BEST for ME - crying!!! every day....afterwards you feel your feeling is done and dusted. Like I said, don't let anyone into your "mood secret"....smile to everyone in the street to get smiles back....you might just brighten another sad person's day as well.
It will not be a quick fix, but keep your dignity and your head up!!!
Re: What happens after "therapy" is finished?
I am trying to be ok with the meds. (Unfortunately because I am a nurse, I know sometimes meds are needed...and that you should not stop "cold turkey". ..but there is another part of me that feels very isolated and alone on them). i go to great lengths to not vent at work. Some of my coworkers I thought were friends...we have worked together for over 30 years...I think would rather see me gone. Most days, if I let my control slip I would like to see me gone too.. Although It is very true that most of us want the emotional pain to end more than our lives. Just not sure how long the therapist will " put up with me".
Re: What happens after "therapy" is finished?
Hi DDJ
It is the therapist JOB to listen to all our crap, that is what he or she went to university for.
Therapists are so expensive here in South Africa (I don't know where you are from), because here we do not have "free" medical assistance. We have medical aid for which we pay a lot for every month, or you can register at a State Hospital and pay less for meds, but it will only be be a brief consultation because you will be one of MANY sitting in a line for counseling.
As long as you can afford to visit a therapist, keep doing so or else if you start feeling "ashamed" (I also tend to feel that I bore people after a while...), I check this site regularly because I had a very traumatic life (other people even worse as you will find if you go through all the conversations) and have been suffering from depression my whole life. Go through all the conversations posted by "Katjie" to get to know me better if you want to...
Just hold on there, we all have our ups and downs....they way you feel about your co-workers...I have had experience with getting discriminated against that is why I advise not to talk about depression with "normal" people because they fill feel some kind of obligation and will start to avoid you or make you feel bad so to alienate you so that you don't become a burden to them..
But speaking about "normal", you would be surprised what even "normal" people go through, they are just coping better with it maybe or does not know that they also have depression or whatever...
But don't feel isolated, I am a 42 year old woman who had never find the right man to get married to or having children with and because of toxic relationships, I have to start over plenty of times in my life. I feel like a FAILURE!
Luckily I have an appreciation for nature and biology and animals and walk around with my mobile and take photos of nature and of my pets and forward it to whomever is interested. If you talk about "positive" things, you will draw people...the right positive kinds who will enjoy your company.
It may seem very selfish of me, but because I can't handle my OWN depression, I try to avoid other negative persons because I don't want to belong to a "club" and to be stigmatized. I would rather talk about depression and my experience on this depression forum because I will not be judged here and have a choice when I want to advise / help someone, because in a way I help myself....in real life, I want my good sense of humor to rule and make me a nice person to be with, even if I cry inside (I cry EVERY day, but at least I have some emotion, I am not dead).
You can talk as much as you like here, we all bore each other hahahahaha, I'm joking!!!
We'll speak again xox
It is the therapist JOB to listen to all our crap, that is what he or she went to university for.
Therapists are so expensive here in South Africa (I don't know where you are from), because here we do not have "free" medical assistance. We have medical aid for which we pay a lot for every month, or you can register at a State Hospital and pay less for meds, but it will only be be a brief consultation because you will be one of MANY sitting in a line for counseling.
As long as you can afford to visit a therapist, keep doing so or else if you start feeling "ashamed" (I also tend to feel that I bore people after a while...), I check this site regularly because I had a very traumatic life (other people even worse as you will find if you go through all the conversations) and have been suffering from depression my whole life. Go through all the conversations posted by "Katjie" to get to know me better if you want to...
Just hold on there, we all have our ups and downs....they way you feel about your co-workers...I have had experience with getting discriminated against that is why I advise not to talk about depression with "normal" people because they fill feel some kind of obligation and will start to avoid you or make you feel bad so to alienate you so that you don't become a burden to them..
But speaking about "normal", you would be surprised what even "normal" people go through, they are just coping better with it maybe or does not know that they also have depression or whatever...
But don't feel isolated, I am a 42 year old woman who had never find the right man to get married to or having children with and because of toxic relationships, I have to start over plenty of times in my life. I feel like a FAILURE!
Luckily I have an appreciation for nature and biology and animals and walk around with my mobile and take photos of nature and of my pets and forward it to whomever is interested. If you talk about "positive" things, you will draw people...the right positive kinds who will enjoy your company.
It may seem very selfish of me, but because I can't handle my OWN depression, I try to avoid other negative persons because I don't want to belong to a "club" and to be stigmatized. I would rather talk about depression and my experience on this depression forum because I will not be judged here and have a choice when I want to advise / help someone, because in a way I help myself....in real life, I want my good sense of humor to rule and make me a nice person to be with, even if I cry inside (I cry EVERY day, but at least I have some emotion, I am not dead).
You can talk as much as you like here, we all bore each other hahahahaha, I'm joking!!!
We'll speak again xox
Re: What happens after "therapy" is finished?
Sounds like there is wisdom in cultivating something that "feeds your soul". A place where there isn't a need to hold the mask on so tightly....I too used to really enjoy taking my camera for a walk along the river...(live near one in Oregon...west coast of US)for the last year it has been hard just to get through the work day. No energy to do anything but keep the emotional storms inside. My partner is "retired". So I have work as much as I can....constant fatigue is no fun!
Re: What happens after "therapy" is finished?
I have tried for the last two weeks to engage myself in something other than wallowing in sadness...feel like I am being sucked down a drain....
Christmas holiday used to be a special time. This year I felt like a shadow wandering through a crowd.
Maybe I have become too dependent on the therapy sessions. It is interesting to talk and pretend the other person is actually interested in your physical and emotional pain. Creates false hope that I can put the shattered pieces of myself back together
Childhood rhyme comes to mind...
All the King's horses and all the King's men
Could not put Humpty Dumpty together again
Christmas holiday used to be a special time. This year I felt like a shadow wandering through a crowd.
Maybe I have become too dependent on the therapy sessions. It is interesting to talk and pretend the other person is actually interested in your physical and emotional pain. Creates false hope that I can put the shattered pieces of myself back together
Childhood rhyme comes to mind...
All the King's horses and all the King's men
Could not put Humpty Dumpty together again
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