My first attempt and a poem

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ItsokayImsorry
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2020 7:56 pm

My first attempt and a poem

Postby ItsokayImsorry » Sat Sep 26, 2020 8:05 pm

I would like to note this is not the first poem I've written but the first one I will attempt to post If i get positive feed back I'll continue to post the ones I have written and will write. I've written these out of person feelings and current problems in life. Please give me your honest opinions and feel free for suggestions. Thank you all for spending your time reading this.
Title: What you did
Date Written: 9/26/2020


Does what you did make you feel beautiful?
Can you feel your heart beat
To leave me here so pitiful

Does what you did feel dutiful
Can you feel my heart weep
To remove me from where my soul belong

Does what you did help you sleep?
Can you feel her heart creep
A love that once flowed so strong

You are a shep
A devil living in a keep
You sang your warsong

A victim of your rage
Like your personal rat you poked through the cage
You tore us apart
Now i feel as if my love can never restart

I can't move on
I can't be strong
I just want to have back my spark.

What you did killed me inside
Because we were happy
Together our hearts would stride

What you did gained you nothing
Selfish karma will haunt you
And I hope it happens with someone just as Loving

Chuck Wood
Posts: 18
Joined: Thu Aug 20, 2020 6:32 pm

Re: My first attempt and a poem

Postby Chuck Wood » Thu Oct 22, 2020 7:09 pm

I read you poem in full. Seems like your talking to other people and about/to yourself. Sounds like your emtionaly lost, in pain, and question why it has to be this way. I write poems to, as too when a young teenager, though I've found that if I write poems that portray the pains and negitives in my life, it builds a "statue" or it solidifies those horible feelings.

Maybe this isn't for you yet, but quit on feeding my negitive thoughts (purposefully) to starve them of the attention that keeps them alive. In a psyc ward I began to write jokes and they are pretty good. Hard to be negetive while enjoying a good joke. Then I went on to wise sayings__The tallest and strongest trees require hungreds of years to grow. To be as great and majestic, we need to be just as patient.__
Like that, in a positive feeling when creating these things. Optomism as well as negivity are contagious. Wish optomism onto others, rid the negetivity into the sewers.


Hope you find some optomism, you deserve it.


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