relationships

[musiclove]

I've been dealing with depression for three years. And my ex-girlfriend (we broke up only a week ago) knew this when we got together. We'd been together for a year and I know this is the girl I want to share my life with. She dumped me last sunday because she didn't want a sad relationship and it made her feel badly about herself. What should I do? Has anyone else had this happen?

[shatteredhopes]

I know from dealing with my ex-boyfriend's depression what a toll it takes on the partner and the relationship. I tried to be understanding but sometimes I did start to feel like it was my fault or he was not happy with me. I guess, in a way, I was kind-of right...he was very judgemental of me in my depression and ultimately dumped me, harshly and coldly at that, and he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and the relationship was sort-of my last hope for a future after a serious of bad bad events.

I am sorry she is not able to deal with your depression. It is very difficult on relationships or can be and takes a special person who can love us through our darkness. But you can't just will yourself out of depression no matter how much you love her...and if she cannot be there for you and cannot deal with this part of you, then she is probably not the one for you afterall. I know it really, really hurts...to be dumped for something that is beyond your control. But maybe let her know you love her, give her some space, and hope for the best.

Things that helped me early after my break up were keeping busy and talking to friends and posting here. People here I am sure are sick of me talking about my ex, but it really helped to talk about it or write about it. You might want to check under the articles and essays section on this forum, as there was not too long ago an article Dandelion posted a piece on relationships and depression. Some do manage to have a reasonably healthy relationship despite severe depression, so I have to believe it is possible for you too in the future.

Are you seeing a therapist or taking meds or doing anything for your depression? Break ups are hard on everyone, but can be especially hard on those of us with depression...so do what you can to take care of your mental health and comfort yourself through this extremely difficult time.

Welcome to the forum...and wishing you light and peace in your day. *HUGS*