Just a thought.

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darklight32
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:07 am
Location: In Here

Postby darklight32 » Thu Jul 08, 2010 2:09 am

A lamenting, secretive gaze....
embracing thoughts of reasons to start again
a confused heart
Continuing despairing, not walking forward.
Sinking, lost by the way
fearing of my source of despair
suddenly pulled out
a horrid form,
this is the form of my despair
taking a shape of me
Madness comes out it
As I crumble, taken in by terror
a fragile hope
wanting to overcome me whole
the clash, fighting the good fight
blows by blows, barely even
getting weaker, that is getting stronger
form transforms to an even darker form,
a blackness mask wicked as the darkness
confidence rises, ready for the end
little courage swells up in me
as i attack with all I got, knowing the end is near.....
telling me of my weakness, taking advantage of it
I tell it to BACK OFF, given in to its pace
this is the end of you while my beginning
is about to begin......Fine.
Unexpected fire drives me,
Just shut up
Though I'm used to have you here
You stand above and look down on me
Always giving me your strength
til' your ready to strike, i knew it
It was back then, that i feared because
you've gave me more than i could handle
you knew it was time as i feared of the strength
To Heavy.........
Ready to end it with a bang
Time stopped for awhile,
exposing our true intentions
I consider you a friend even though
that you are not.....
It seems i've won for now....
giving me a warning for the next time.

darklight32
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:07 am
Location: In Here

Postby darklight32 » Thu Jul 08, 2010 2:19 am

With each clash I become heavier and my WILL will soon crash, taken in while he is out. It gave me a little of it's personality. With a little shame to it. Because of this i harden my heart.

I have a lamenting gaze.

Obayan
Posts: 4516
Joined: Sat Jan 30, 2010 4:51 am
Location: oklahoma
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Postby Obayan » Thu Jul 08, 2010 2:55 am

darklight, sending you a warm though and a big hug hon.

darklight32
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:07 am
Location: In Here

Postby darklight32 » Mon Jul 12, 2010 4:51 am

thinking of i'm starting to get scared of sleeping in the night or maybe I like in the night better than the day, I sleep in the morning, 6 hours of sleep, i love how beautiful the moon is, all i'm doing is finding myself truly. All of it. Give me something to fight with. But there is somebody that I'm fighting, myself. The one who is equal to me and the limit of myself, to exceed myself then i'll be able to conquer most of the others.

To put it simple, I must fight the darkness of me in order to beat it then I'll be able to beat others. Or.....

Obayan
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Postby Obayan » Mon Jul 12, 2010 4:53 am

The greatest battle is fought within ourselves and involves no violence at all but instead a wealth of compassion, understanding, forgiveness and love.

darklight32
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:07 am
Location: In Here

Postby darklight32 » Mon Jul 12, 2010 5:04 am

Just watched dark knight and Totally an awesome movie,
even tough i watched a couple of times, just one in a while.

A quote ------ The Joker

Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just... do things. The mob has plans, the cops have plans, You know, they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So, It's the schemers that put you where you are. You were a schemer, you had plans, and look where that got you. I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and I turned it on itself.

I'm a schemer and that's all i do. funny. i've got plans. now, i want to just do things. do that, then i'll be free....

Obayan
Posts: 4516
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Location: oklahoma
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Postby Obayan » Mon Jul 12, 2010 5:15 am

I've never seen the movie myself. Not my type of show.... but i'm glad you liked it.

darklight32
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:07 am
Location: In Here

Postby darklight32 » Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:57 pm

I'm ready to strike, to ease my pain but my code,rule is stopping me. like a bad joke. To live by the sword.

A Lion in it's den, waiting......looking onwards, it does not see anything it likes, building up it's strength, slowly. Sighing as it waits. Until, it's eyes caught it's eyes. "I want you". Rising up, stretching out the sword.
Pointing it to the enemy. Equal in strength. Different ways. Clashing. To measure it's capability.

---------------I'm waiting.

Obayan
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Postby Obayan » Fri Jul 16, 2010 2:13 am

very interesting...

darklight32
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:07 am
Location: In Here

Postby darklight32 » Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:03 am

Doubt is all i have, i'm standing in the middle of two paths. Which one, one is sweet and the another is warm. Sweet then bitter. Warm, still warm.

Decisions, decisions. If i throw away the sweetness then I throw away my hatred. Forgiving is a hard thing to do but I must. Still doubting, i don't mind going into the eternal journey. But if i choose the warm, warmness shall spread onto my heart. Happiness. I actually forgot how being happy feels like. So, I'm in doubt. Do i want happiness or sadness. I want to be happy and all. I'm still not changing my ways, therefore, sadness. I'll keep the sword of mine. I'm getting rusty but I'll rejoice when i use it, madness, of course.

Now, if i must continue then I must be stronger. Enough to do what I want. That is way hard to do. To not be bound by law or anything, only a little.

I think of the many who have chosen this path, fallen. Am I gonna be one of those many? What, am I special.

Decisions, decisions.

darklight32
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:07 am
Location: In Here

Postby darklight32 » Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:32 am

Oh, man. I'm seeing things. Stupid thing won't let me change. Let's just say, reminding me. Or am i doing this. maybe.

You'll soon see, feel of what I feel, it depends on you whether to let it drag on. Insanity. Wavelength. Laughing.

darklight32
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:07 am
Location: In Here

Postby darklight32 » Sat Jul 17, 2010 3:53 am

What if all things should fail. Where could I turn to, whom could i turn to. There is none. You only gave me kind words making me feel all better but is limited to your observation because you know what state i'm in.

My senses are vague, dull, my eyes are starting to blur, my ears is slowly not hearing, my taste is becoming bitter, i can't see the colors anymore. There is more to lose that what I've lost now. Blind. Fool. Selfish.

Jolts of fear runs through me, despairing, such a sad gaze looking forward, not wanting to continue to the light but to the darkness where I could see not, where no one sees. By the darkness I....I....I......now walk, A new shadow has sprung causing to have a shadow in the darkness. Looking for a certain individuals, to question them or strike each other either way.

In the deepest end, walking through each step recklessly, under the influence of my reason. The darkness in inside of me has gone instead it opened my doors and walked out, giving a farewell to the place he was kept, laughing as the intentions it has, putting it to work, knowing.

Spouting nonsense, my smile is gone replaced it with sadness. What shall i do? whole lot of possibilities. I've picked of what I'll represent, emptiness/despair/loneliness, no it picked me. That is what I give now to all of you. I would like to find _________________

This is my last post, throwing away of what I had, all of it.

It hurts, it hurts something inside of me hurts. If i was scared i would do something to ease my pain, doing bad to others. I've done that, that doesn't work, no more. Telling me to go deeper but i refuse, ouch, feels like someone is biting my shoulder, Instead I will do nothing, increasing, polishing my sword with despair, the essence of it, will cause tremble, I know your fears. We're actually the same with different choices.

It's not fun no more. It's not okay. Hello.

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Sat Jul 24, 2010 6:17 pm

(((((((((((((( darklight32 ))))))))))))

Just sending a hug your way.

Warmie


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