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darklight32
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Postby darklight32 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 6:01 pm

Well, i'm on my way of maybe becoming manipulative, thankfully i still have my shame which stops me from going into deeper.

Depression, it was just me getting knocked down to the ground and with me lying down til now. I've realized that i could Stand up, slowly getting up, slowly. The experience i bring with me, the darkness i've been.


On my times of sorrow, sadness is like a dagger pointed at your heart, sharpening the dagger on and on, feeling the tip on it, waiting for you. It needs your permission to do its will.


I'm beginning to see myself of who I really am, I feel this blazing fire inside of me, thoughts, so is this the flames of hatred? maybe. Another one is the emptiness blindingly seeking warmth, eyes of sadness with the intention of looking for eternity til I found it. Suddenly, so, this is my father's path, i'm following his steps that he took, well it is my choice, who knew that i'd follow his path.


Sloth. A lone wolf who's hasn't eaten for months. Still has the strength of a pack. Strength. Wisdom. Humble.

These wondering thoughts that i have is what i've gained. I've almost lost my heart. But i've found it but darkness has filled it.

My depression has been replaced with an even more unstable thing. has its ups and downs.

Many people will continue onto the path which is vast, few will escape.

darklight32
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:07 am
Location: In Here

Postby darklight32 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 6:06 pm

I know how you think doesn't matter their all the same. different ways with the same intentions.

helllo, peoples.

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 6:10 pm

(((((((((((((( darklight32 ))))))))))))))))))

Your words:

Strength. Wisdom. Humble.


Hold them close, remember then, believe them.

Warmie

darklight32
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:07 am
Location: In Here

Postby darklight32 » Mon Jun 14, 2010 3:32 pm

Oh man, on to my way of another breakdown. :cry: It is there that i'm at my weakest yet strong.

I feel negative energy all the time, I use it as strength. Onto my way of destruction, it is the last works of violence. Although I have my will of not harming the law which you all live by including me.

I'm basically crying with no tears. Sitting in the dark. Determined.

A way we go :shock:

darklight32
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:07 am
Location: In Here

Postby darklight32 » Mon Jun 14, 2010 3:39 pm

Just being in the grip of madness is scary. Frightens me.

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Mon Jun 14, 2010 6:24 pm

((((((((((((( darklight )))))))))))))

We will listen to your fears, help support as much as we can.

Warmie

aim
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Postby aim » Tue Jun 15, 2010 9:06 pm

Darklight...uncertainty is a very scary thing. Not understanding our feelings is just as scary, I think.

I'm beginning to see myself of who I really am, I feel this blazing fire inside of me, thoughts, so is this the flames of hatred? maybe. Another one is the emptiness blindingly seeking warmth, eyes of sadness with the intention of looking for eternity til I found it. Suddenly, so, this is my father's path, i'm following his steps that he took, well it is my choice, who knew that i'd follow his path.


The flame is not hatred... it is the fire of you wanting out of these ups and downs and your brain searching for the way. You don't have to follow anyone else's path-make your own. You're a smart person, you can do it.

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Tue Jun 15, 2010 10:31 pm

((((((((((((( darklight ))))))))))))))))

I feel the flames are your desires growing stronger and stronger. See them as good.

Jeanie

darklight32
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:07 am
Location: In Here

Postby darklight32 » Fri Jun 18, 2010 7:38 am

The thing which you have imagined has come as the phantom.

Man, i have do overcome my depression in order to get back to my happy self, it takes all my strength to overcome it. I'll only overcome it by special occasions. (Time To Pretend)


We are not alone
Everyone is lost
Just believe we are not alone

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:31 am

(((((((((((( Dark ))))))))))))))))

Thanks for sharing, and know we are here. You are right, we do get lost, but as a family, we are here to guide and hold on to each other.

Warmie

darklight32
Posts: 70
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Location: In Here

Postby darklight32 » Mon Jun 21, 2010 7:32 am

Dancing with the devil.

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Mon Jun 21, 2010 10:07 am

Then teach him the steps you want to do! Take that control.

(((((((((( darklight ))))))))))))

Warmie

darklight32
Posts: 70
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Location: In Here

Postby darklight32 » Thu Jul 01, 2010 9:11 am

I'm sunking......Although i choose to be in it. not walking forward. going deeper and deeper of the abyss. That is my depression feels like. Going in deeper. Losing my happiness for sorrow. Despair. The source of my despair is steadily growing stronger, I seen him with a version of myself. I feel him. That is my strength. A double-edged sword. Their is no reason but to continue existing. To see what becomes of everything and of me.

I want to change. I could do it with him. But that's just relying on somebody. Time well wasted. I loved being simple back then. Now, it's gone. I truly see, that is my advantage.


I do want something that i don't want. That will change when time continues. Knowing. Understanding then onto the blazing field to test my strength. It's a hard journey but with my will to live I will go through it and continue to be strong. As a fool.

The sneaky bastard only needs your approval to trick you. Why do you accept of being tricked. It's warm but bitter.

darklight32
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:07 am
Location: In Here

Postby darklight32 » Thu Jul 01, 2010 9:36 am

Hmmm....Being Happy and living a quiet life. *sounds so enticing* No, that isn't suited for me.

I judge myself, I have rules that I must follow to be me not someone else. I'm not a show off so i don't use my full potential but when needed. I plan several steps ahead, unexpected ones too. I sometimes devise evil plans that is so complex that it won't fail but will fail anyways. A pattern to follow, constantly changing my way. My appetite changes.

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Thu Jul 01, 2010 9:40 am

((((((((((((((( darklight32 )))))))))))))))))

Be true to yourself. Something my mother taught me a long time ago. She was a wise person, taught me much, but that lesson is one that is so important.

Don't know about a 'quiet life', but finding happiness, being happy is a goal I go for and who knows someday, perhaps, I will find it.

Warmie


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