Just a thought.

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darklight32
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Just a thought.

Postby darklight32 » Sat Mar 20, 2010 5:06 pm

I'll write something about me self. I'm a guy who fears, who hates, who sorrows, who enjoys. I feel comfortable when there's a commotion (sadism) and i feel happy because their is somebody else who's in pain. Although there are times when the pain is unbearable I get paranoid or just laugh it off or something. I do enjoy fighting because i'm a man not to show weakness, strength, i go after the sword and I notice it when there's someone who has sharpened their sword and is far far better than me. I must be stronger. I'm not afraid to leave, I'm letting you know, It is when I leave that I'll come back changed. Many has followed the path falling down as they take a step to ________????

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crystalgaze
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Postby crystalgaze » Sun Mar 21, 2010 4:15 pm

Wow.... I applaud you for posting... That was deep & honest. You are well on your way.... even if it is to the unknown.... or that you don't know where you are going.... or it could be change, too....

I don't happen to know where I'm going just yet... There are still some things to do & attempt to figure out in a bit....

I may be somewhat like you... I can identify with what you've written. It is something I've simply never thought of, so it is a really meaningful post to me. I am honored. ^_^

You probably already know this, but embrace yourself for who/what you are & if it is something you want to change, then do so gradually over time. If you are happy/okay with it, then remain the same.

It seems like competition motivates you; that might not be such a bad thing.

I don't wield a sword per se... (I don't think)... I believe my weapon of choice is a sickle. It's not double bladed yet. :wink:

I don't swing it all the time because it often tires me out to do so.... If I end up swinging it for a while, I know I'm probably agitated (angry, upset, defensive/maybe on the offense, etc.).

& yeah, sometimes it feels great. I swung mine just the other day & it was mighty empowering....

I'm afraid to fight in real life... partly because I do not feel prepared enough.... but if I must, then I must.

Maybe we can spar sometime (& I hope you know I'm just playing).... :)
Hope it's appropriate to do so....

Take care & I meant no harm!

darklight32
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Postby darklight32 » Thu Apr 01, 2010 4:26 am

Well, crystal gaze thanks for replying. A mere post is really *you know* <I don't know> than not posting at all.

Now, why don't you all open up and tell me what's the problem, why are you in the state you are in? I'd like to know this, maybe i'll tell you mine, not really open though.

It seems like your piecing together yourself (1 problem at a time) and describe of what it feels of being in the state. Maybe we're all in the same place right now, going in deeper and deeper, to the bottom. We'll get tired, slowing down and then one day stop. Now why don't we go up, ascend. May you have a long journey and go to whatever you are going. Do not stop.

darklight32
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Postby darklight32 » Tue Apr 06, 2010 12:46 am

Well, felt like crying, had a really sad face the whole day. :( Like that.

This happened to me, a punk came to me demanding money or any valuables, I was shocked, i wasn't going to give it to him. Waited for about 2 minutes, still demanding, "bring it" gave a thought.Then, used the negativity that I had and showed it all in my eyes. Hatred, sorrow.....I began to move up to him and he was moving back really scared, he ran.

Now, that was last year. I began to notice something, like a serpent holding my body and is trying to pierce my heart. Right now at this moment, it's just waiting for the right time. I could use it's strength and it's presence.

______________________________________________

And they call this a tragedy......

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xn728
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HEY

Postby xn728 » Tue Apr 06, 2010 5:10 am

hey darklight ,,i to have the serpent in me ,,its demon tongue can hurt people with its vicious words ,,,,and it coils itself around my body ,,squeezing me into submission be strong my freind ,,i to know your fears ,,and understand ,,,thinking of you ,,hugs (((((darklight))))),,lots of love ken xxx

darklight32
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Postby darklight32 » Mon Apr 12, 2010 9:42 pm

hello, just feel really down, about to break loose, but what will that do, deep down, i really am afraid, hoping that i'll be me, not some stranger. I know that i'll have to be strong, stronger than all of you if i continue this path, not to get cut down,., i hate being alone, i also hate being so helpless,, i don't know what keeps me going, all in all it is interesting, i used to worry about what will happen or something like that, i feel like a kid who's worried going into a new school, "Will i fit in?". Some lady talked to me, taking about the substances of cigarette and about her mother in hospital, about the her generation, hoping that my generation will do better, felt good that someone is actually talking to me. I only have so little hope but it is fading, slowly. I don't want to be consumed, even though it is slowly consuming me, i feel so empty, I just don't know. I'm going for the ride, i guess. this is quite a experience, too feel so low, i have some fire in me,........Bye, thank you for reading this, i feel like despair is shown by me, this is the face of true despair. Do i need help?, "no, i think i don't need help.". You have to make a choice, always..

darklight32
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Postby darklight32 » Mon May 03, 2010 8:05 pm

WHY, why? this is just gonna go on, taste is gone, vision starting to lose the light, darkness is evading me, i'll rest, the shadows come, welcoming me, Hello there, you'll be lunch, now to wield my sword which i have sharpened. Going Berserk pain fear holds me hesitant.

i hate it, i've shut my eyes a long time ago, well i'm going now.

darklight32
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Postby darklight32 » Wed May 19, 2010 5:35 pm

It's a about time for me to rise.

Enough of this weeping sorrow despise thing for me.

Time for me to Kick-Ass.

I know how to walk in the darkness, now. I used to kept falling not knowing what i stumbled upon, but I walk now. just a beginning.

darklight32
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Postby darklight32 » Sat May 22, 2010 1:49 pm

I want you to feel pain, to think about pain , to accept pain, to know Pain.

It hurts even though it hurts this blazing fire inside of me wants to get out, seeking a moment to take over, trapped but can escape. The monster inside of me, deep down in the darkness, whn can i get out?. hhhhhhhuhh, this will be........marvelous.........almost had it......so close.........i will get it...........your weak.......you rely on my power.......soothing isn't it.......come......to.......the.......shadows.......i will......make.........your.........problems.......go AWAY......Destroy everything that hurts you....let me have your heart...........YES.......

aim
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Postby aim » Sat May 29, 2010 8:46 pm

Pain can make you feel alive, but so can love. Feel pain but also try everyday to feel love and beauty as well. You will not regret it. I can promise you that.

We can find pain in just about every situation, but we can also find the laugh, the beauty and the love. Just try... please.

It's raining, but that causes flowers and grass to grow.

It's snowing, but the trees look so lovely covered in it.

There's depression, but there's also moments of light. Look for your daffodil. It's there... even if it's under the surface at the moment.

hollyann
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Postby hollyann » Sun May 30, 2010 5:22 am

((((((darklight))))))))

aim
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Postby aim » Sun May 30, 2010 4:32 pm

You know who gives me a lot of love, aside from my family and fiance, of course? Our dog. God... she loves me. I know I get angry at her often, but I cannot deny the love this dog shows me every day. :-)

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Sun May 30, 2010 4:45 pm

((((((((( darklight32 ))))))))))))))

You said:

Time for me to Kick-Ass.


WTG!!! Sure you will succeed.

Warmie

aim
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Postby aim » Sun May 30, 2010 8:53 pm

I was thinking about pain, darklight. I do agree that pain makes you feel more alive. You are only alive when you feel pain. The pain of losing, the pain of anxiety, the pain of depression... there really is a lot of pain in the world for us, huh?

There is a great song from musical theater called, "Being Alive." (Bernadette Peters does the BEST version of it) If you've never heard it, I suggest you do. She wants someone to come into her life, love her and cause her all of the pain and heartache that goes along with a relationship so that she can feel alive.

Don't know why, that post just made me think of that song.

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Wed Jun 02, 2010 10:25 am

((((((darklight))))))))

How are you doing today? Thought I would check in with you. Hope all is well.

Warmie


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