What if...5

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Tealeaves
Posts: 75
Joined: Wed May 05, 2021 3:54 am

What if...5

Postby Tealeaves » Tue Jan 10, 2023 9:18 am

So one example of my theory is (sigh) one of my own problems. ( I sigh because I dislike using my own stuff...its embarrassing)
Anyfoo, it's food! ...that's expired.

So my father and I are rearranging things, so eventually we can remodel the house. For many years, I have been what is called

(sigh...let me sigh, it's good for me to recognize my bad) (kind of like, some people hear they are fat and it hurts their feelings; whereas; other people hear they are fat and, it puts them in high gear to change it)

... anyway (sigh) I'm what's called a hoarder...and food is among the many things that I have kept over the years...expired food.

So technically an expiration date means done, throw it out ...but I, like many others out there, at some point replaced that fact with the fact that, food is not always done...

I found out, because of legal law stuff and science... by law they have to put expiration dates on things and, using science they figured out the spoilage date. ( don't quote me on anything I'm not a scientist, nor am I giving any factual data here)
But like any human being or a lot of human beings out there I stored that fact in my brain and lived by expiration dates (ish but close) until the day I noticed...one apple in the bag went bad but, the rest were fine.

Now new information was what iffing in my brain. A little research later
(I researched, years ago not sure what the facts are now)
I found out the spoilage dates are round about dates...which means... the milk expired on the 31st and it was the second but it still smelled good and tasted good so yeah I put that stuff on my cereal.
Which now means I have a new fact in my mind and memories ( which are also facts) to connect to it...( I also had memories of finding moldy bread on its expired date... some memories going both ways)
But like I said now I have a new fact in my mind.
Now when the brain is working correctly then it can do it's correct processes what iss-ing and what iffing, back and forth, correctly. Which also means if only four boxes of macaroni fit on a shelf ...maybe we shove two extra boxes in but... not nine extra... So we'll just throw the expired, extra ones out.

But when the brain is working incorrectly...oh the places it will go lol
Now you have two conflicting facts, along with other facts in the world such as there is such a thing as hunger and starvation. You watch one of those commercials showing the starting kids in another country... tell me you don't hold on to that expired box of macaroni... if nothing else but in honor of that little starving kid. Hey, you might even have made it for dinner that night, sat around the table with your kids saying "don't waste that there are kids starving in the world and they would be more than happy to eat that expired macaroni."
... okay you probably didn't say expired, or your kids would have said "ew" and then really not eaten it.

Point is, we all have moments where we change the facts that in our minds...bend the rules. Like I said before we're supposed to be imbalanced just as much as we're supposed to be balanced... so we can make silly or backward little decisions, like eating expired macaroni... so we can learn from them. ( and do them again tomorrow... just kidding)

(Sigh, back to me)
Today is the day. Recently we had a death in the family and a family member had to move into the house with us... and they brought all their dishes, cookware and yes... food with them. There are so many obstacles of boxes bags microwaves and other appliances, just piled... not just in the kitchen but throughout the entire downstairs.
(Warning: I might start functionalizing, meaning skip the pretty words and just say what needs to be said... because this isn't easy for me. Even though I might not tell you every little detail I can see it and feel it in my own mind and it's exhausting and depressing. It's lucky that I stumbled upon this theory or I'd probably still be stuck... my only saving grace.)

Here is where the theory is really coming into play.
I've had this hoarding problem for years. I now know and respect; because of the theory; that I cannot do this alone, in fact, I cannot do it at all. This problem has grown so much that the food isn't just in the kitchen... it's in the basement and all throughout the rest of the house especially on the first floor... you can find food in every room in this house... and it's all my fault.
I put four boxes of macaroni on the shelf and then I shoved in nine more... while a great big box of them, several multi-packs, was piled up next to the shelf. After that I began expanding out into the other rooms. Why so much who knows, perhaps the fact that there are starving children in the world... because that is a fact... so now what if... that starvation could come here?
What if Y2K had been real...what if bomb shelters were needed again...what if...what if........so what is, I collected food. Now I'm attached to it... in my mind throwing food out is almost equivalent to throwing out food that a child could eat... even if it is expired.
So yeah I can't do this alone... I cannot do this at all.

Recognizing this real fact...functionalizing

Letting someone help...emotionalizing or rolling with it

I know for a fact if I see that food I will try my darndest to keep holding on to it...so...
I have to tell my dad that I cannot see what he is doing, what he is bagging or boxing... to throw away.

I can't be gone from the house... I need to be there, in another room, I have to be close by.

I most certainly cannot see it sitting in the side yard, in the garbage can. Of course since there is so much... it won't all fit in the garbage can... there will be bags and boxes of it sitting outside. If I'm not careful, it will be easily viewable through any window downstairs. I had to be so careful, not to look, not to think about it... I can't even take a regular bag of garbage outside. So I don't take even one chance I'm now in prison in this house until garbage day.


Want to hear something funny... today is garbage day... but they already came and left which means a whole another week (lol and sigh)
It will sit there until garbage day

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