No one understands me

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backstage
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Apr 11, 2020 3:52 am

No one understands me

Postby backstage » Sat Apr 11, 2020 4:12 am

I have self-diagnosed autism as well as learning problems and I get misunderstood all the time and other people misunderstand me too. I have a communication style that is very different from how other people talk. I take things literally and don’t always understand what people say. I tend to be blunt so it comes across as rude, but I’m really a nice person, I just like to be honest about things. I was banned from depression chat room earlier for “not moving on” from something, but I really did not understand what moving on meant. Since I take things literally, when I think of moving on, I imagine my physical body moving. I have a hard time with idioms and metaphorical stuff like that. I tried explaining to the mods about my disabilities but they wouldn’t listen. I feel that is very ableist. I sent an email explaining my situation, hopefully they got it. I’m not very tech savvy so I’m worried I didn’t send it correctly. I guess if I don’t hear back by tomorrow I’ll send another message. Ugh, this is very frustrating and upsetting. I feel very hurt right now. :( I am new to these forums so I’m sorry if I’m posting this in the wrong place.

backstage
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Apr 11, 2020 3:52 am

Re: No one understands me

Postby backstage » Sat Apr 11, 2020 5:05 pm

Some of the mods are nice, but some of them just seem power hungry and like they get a kick out of banning people who are already in a fragile state instead of asking how they’re doing. Most people just want someone to talk to and all they do is act like drill sergeants, strictly enforcing rules and banning people with no explanation. Some people break rules without realizing it. One of the mods who messaged me talked to me in a very condescending tone. I told them that it was a miscommunication (being on the spectrum, I struggle a lot with communication) and I asked them if they would please let me explain the situation, but they just told me to close the chat and then ignored me. I then closed the chat and cried for the rest of the night while having an autism meltdown. This experience has been very triggering to both my autism and ptsd and I really hope it gets resolved soon.

backstage
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Apr 11, 2020 3:52 am

Re: No one understands me

Postby backstage » Sat Apr 11, 2020 8:31 pm

22 views and no responses. Of course. I’m always ignored. :(

Overzone
Posts: 268
Joined: Mon Nov 11, 2019 2:37 pm

Re: No one understands me

Postby Overzone » Sun Apr 12, 2020 11:12 am

backstage wrote:22 views and no responses. Of course. I’m always ignored. :(

Hi, sorry for your unfortunate experience. When a moderator of the room asks to move on from a topic it means to stop talking about it. In any case, I will refer you to the contact us link: here (click here)

I really hope you will feel better soon and try not to take it personally.

backstage
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Apr 11, 2020 3:52 am

Re: No one understands me

Postby backstage » Sun Apr 12, 2020 4:13 pm

Overzone wrote:
backstage wrote:22 views and no responses. Of course. I’m always ignored. :(

Hi, sorry for your unfortunate experience. When a moderator of the room asks to move on from a topic it means to stop talking about it. In any case, I will refer you to the contact us link: here (click here)

I really hope you will feel better soon and try not to take it personally.


I already sent a message using that link right after the incident but I haven’t heard back. They said it would be a 48 hour ban but I’m worried it might be permanent. I really didn’t know what moving on from a topic meant which I explained to the mod, but they didn’t believe me. I have a hard time with language. It’s part of my disability and not at all a reflection on the person that I am. It hurts me that instead of asking if I wanted to talk about it, they just banned me, causing me to be more upset. There was no compassion or patience for me.

This isn’t a matter of me taking things personally, it’s a matter of me feeling mistreated and disrespected. I wouldn’t have cared about the ban as much if they had done it in a nicer, more polite way.

Overzone
Posts: 268
Joined: Mon Nov 11, 2019 2:37 pm

Re: No one understands me

Postby Overzone » Mon Apr 13, 2020 10:39 am

backstage wrote:
Overzone wrote:
backstage wrote:22 views and no responses. Of course. I’m always ignored. :(

Hi, sorry for your unfortunate experience. When a moderator of the room asks to move on from a topic it means to stop talking about it. In any case, I will refer you to the contact us link: here (click here)

I really hope you will feel better soon and try not to take it personally.


I already sent a message using that link right after the incident but I haven’t heard back. They said it would be a 48 hour ban but I’m worried it might be permanent. I really didn’t know what moving on from a topic meant which I explained to the mod, but they didn’t believe me. I have a hard time with language. It’s part of my disability and not at all a reflection on the person that I am. It hurts me that instead of asking if I wanted to talk about it, they just banned me, causing me to be more upset. There was no compassion or patience for me.

This isn’t a matter of me taking things personally, it’s a matter of me feeling mistreated and disrespected. I wouldn’t have cared about the ban as much if they had done it in a nicer, more polite way.


Sorry, you have not heard back.
If it's a 48-hour ban you can come back after the 48 hours and you are not permabanned. Unfortunately, I do not know who the moderator was and neither can I speak for them but if anything, you can return to discuss is with them if you do it respectfully via PM. Ask in the main chat if you see them if you can PM them and talk it over to make sure you are understood, try to do this and do not focus on criticizing the moderator but rather that you felt hurt and that it was a complete language barrier. If they are still unresponsive or not understanding I would suggest contacting the site again and asking if they can respond back to your inquiry.

Moderators often cannot tell who is a troll and who is genuinely being serious and often that can lead to misunderstandings that are not personal. I can only speak for myself but this can happen and sorry that you felt hurt. I hope you recover and are able to address it to them so you can move on

backstage
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Apr 11, 2020 3:52 am

Re: No one understands me

Postby backstage » Mon Apr 13, 2020 12:59 pm

Overzone wrote:
backstage wrote:
Overzone wrote:Hi, sorry for your unfortunate experience. When a moderator of the room asks to move on from a topic it means to stop talking about it. In any case, I will refer you to the contact us link: here (click here)

I really hope you will feel better soon and try not to take it personally.


I already sent a message using that link right after the incident but I haven’t heard back. They said it would be a 48 hour ban but I’m worried it might be permanent. I really didn’t know what moving on from a topic meant which I explained to the mod, but they didn’t believe me. I have a hard time with language. It’s part of my disability and not at all a reflection on the person that I am. It hurts me that instead of asking if I wanted to talk about it, they just banned me, causing me to be more upset. There was no compassion or patience for me.

This isn’t a matter of me taking things personally, it’s a matter of me feeling mistreated and disrespected. I wouldn’t have cared about the ban as much if they had done it in a nicer, more polite way.


Sorry, you have not heard back.
If it's a 48-hour ban you can come back after the 48 hours and you are not permabanned. Unfortunately, I do not know who the moderator was and neither can I speak for them but if anything, you can return to discuss is with them if you do it respectfully via PM. Ask in the main chat if you see them if you can PM them and talk it over to make sure you are understood, try to do this and do not focus on criticizing the moderator but rather that you felt hurt and that it was a complete language barrier. If they are still unresponsive or not understanding I would suggest contacting the site again and asking if they can respond back to your inquiry.

Moderators often cannot tell who is a troll and who is genuinely being serious and often that can lead to misunderstandings that are not personal. I can only speak for myself but this can happen and sorry that you felt hurt. I hope you recover and are able to address it to them so you can move on


I was able to go back on the chat last night but I’m afraid to pm them at this point. I’m worried about getting banned again. It is never my intention to criticize the mods, I just have a way of expressing myself that may come off that way, but I’m just a very emotional person and really sensitive. I really can’t help it.

Overzone
Posts: 268
Joined: Mon Nov 11, 2019 2:37 pm

Re: No one understands me

Postby Overzone » Tue Apr 14, 2020 5:46 pm

backstage wrote:
Overzone wrote:
backstage wrote:
I already sent a message using that link right after the incident but I haven’t heard back. They said it would be a 48 hour ban but I’m worried it might be permanent. I really didn’t know what moving on from a topic meant which I explained to the mod, but they didn’t believe me. I have a hard time with language. It’s part of my disability and not at all a reflection on the person that I am. It hurts me that instead of asking if I wanted to talk about it, they just banned me, causing me to be more upset. There was no compassion or patience for me.

This isn’t a matter of me taking things personally, it’s a matter of me feeling mistreated and disrespected. I wouldn’t have cared about the ban as much if they had done it in a nicer, more polite way.


Sorry, you have not heard back.
If it's a 48-hour ban you can come back after the 48 hours and you are not permabanned. Unfortunately, I do not know who the moderator was and neither can I speak for them but if anything, you can return to discuss is with them if you do it respectfully via PM. Ask in the main chat if you see them if you can PM them and talk it over to make sure you are understood, try to do this and do not focus on criticizing the moderator but rather that you felt hurt and that it was a complete language barrier. If they are still unresponsive or not understanding I would suggest contacting the site again and asking if they can respond back to your inquiry.

Moderators often cannot tell who is a troll and who is genuinely being serious and often that can lead to misunderstandings that are not personal. I can only speak for myself but this can happen and sorry that you felt hurt. I hope you recover and are able to address it to them so you can move on


I was able to go back on the chat last night but I’m afraid to pm them at this point. I’m worried about getting banned again. It is never my intention to criticize the mods, I just have a way of expressing myself that may come off that way, but I’m just a very emotional person and really sensitive. I really can’t help it.


Don't be afraid, moderators usually warn before kicking someone out. Just make sure you read the chatroom rules and follow the moderators instructions. Goodluck

Prycejosh1987
Posts: 424
Joined: Sun May 31, 2020 10:54 am
Location: Birmingham UK

Re: No one understands me

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Thu Jun 04, 2020 12:15 pm

backstage wrote:I have self-diagnosed autism as well as learning problems and I get misunderstood all the time and other people misunderstand me too. I have a communication style that is very different from how other people talk. I take things literally and don’t always understand what people say. I tend to be blunt so it comes across as rude, but I’m really a nice person, I just like to be honest about things. I was banned from depression chat room earlier for “not moving on” from something, but I really did not understand what moving on meant. Since I take things literally, when I think of moving on, I imagine my physical body moving. I have a hard time with idioms and metaphorical stuff like that. I tried explaining to the mods about my disabilities but they wouldn’t listen. I feel that is very ableist. I sent an email explaining my situation, hopefully they got it. I’m not very tech savvy so I’m worried I didn’t send it correctly. I guess if I don’t hear back by tomorrow I’ll send another message. Ugh, this is very frustrating and upsetting. I feel very hurt right now. :( I am new to these forums so I’m sorry if I’m posting this in the wrong place.

There doesnt seem to be anything wrong with what you said. But maybe people are getting frustrated with your approach. Usually when your communication style is different, it can be appealing, but it can also be a bad thing as you come across differently. Moving on i think refers to not taking advice given perhaps, or maybe you keep talking about the same thing over and over again. I dont know. Best thing to do is think what you learn from conversations online, etc. Change your approach and be more light headed.

backstage
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Apr 11, 2020 3:52 am

Re: No one understands me

Postby backstage » Thu Jun 04, 2020 1:07 pm

Prycejosh1987 wrote:
backstage wrote:I have self-diagnosed autism as well as learning problems and I get misunderstood all the time and other people misunderstand me too. I have a communication style that is very different from how other people talk. I take things literally and don’t always understand what people say. I tend to be blunt so it comes across as rude, but I’m really a nice person, I just like to be honest about things. I was banned from depression chat room earlier for “not moving on” from something, but I really did not understand what moving on meant. Since I take things literally, when I think of moving on, I imagine my physical body moving. I have a hard time with idioms and metaphorical stuff like that. I tried explaining to the mods about my disabilities but they wouldn’t listen. I feel that is very ableist. I sent an email explaining my situation, hopefully they got it. I’m not very tech savvy so I’m worried I didn’t send it correctly. I guess if I don’t hear back by tomorrow I’ll send another message. Ugh, this is very frustrating and upsetting. I feel very hurt right now. :( I am new to these forums so I’m sorry if I’m posting this in the wrong place.

There doesnt seem to be anything wrong with what you said. But maybe people are getting frustrated with your approach. Usually when your communication style is different, it can be appealing, but it can also be a bad thing as you come across differently. Moving on i think refers to not taking advice given perhaps, or maybe you keep talking about the same thing over and over again. I dont know. Best thing to do is think what you learn from conversations online, etc. Change your approach and be more light headed.


Light headed?

Prycejosh1987
Posts: 424
Joined: Sun May 31, 2020 10:54 am
Location: Birmingham UK

Re: No one understands me

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Thu Jun 04, 2020 1:24 pm

backstage wrote:
Prycejosh1987 wrote:
backstage wrote:I have self-diagnosed autism as well as learning problems and I get misunderstood all the time and other people misunderstand me too. I have a communication style that is very different from how other people talk. I take things literally and don’t always understand what people say. I tend to be blunt so it comes across as rude, but I’m really a nice person, I just like to be honest about things. I was banned from depression chat room earlier for “not moving on” from something, but I really did not understand what moving on meant. Since I take things literally, when I think of moving on, I imagine my physical body moving. I have a hard time with idioms and metaphorical stuff like that. I tried explaining to the mods about my disabilities but they wouldn’t listen. I feel that is very ableist. I sent an email explaining my situation, hopefully they got it. I’m not very tech savvy so I’m worried I didn’t send it correctly. I guess if I don’t hear back by tomorrow I’ll send another message. Ugh, this is very frustrating and upsetting. I feel very hurt right now. :( I am new to these forums so I’m sorry if I’m posting this in the wrong place.

There doesnt seem to be anything wrong with what you said. But maybe people are getting frustrated with your approach. Usually when your communication style is different, it can be appealing, but it can also be a bad thing as you come across differently. Moving on i think refers to not taking advice given perhaps, or maybe you keep talking about the same thing over and over again. I dont know. Best thing to do is think what you learn from conversations online, etc. Change your approach and be more light headed.


Light headed?

I think you might be sounding too serious, you said your blunt and come across as rude. You can be honest but in a very positive way. Theres abuse and then theres positive criticism. Not to say you are abusing people, but that is what i meant by light headed. I cant really explain it in detail.

backstage
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Apr 11, 2020 3:52 am

Re: No one understands me

Postby backstage » Thu Jun 04, 2020 1:27 pm

Prycejosh1987 wrote:
backstage wrote:
Prycejosh1987 wrote:There doesnt seem to be anything wrong with what you said. But maybe people are getting frustrated with your approach. Usually when your communication style is different, it can be appealing, but it can also be a bad thing as you come across differently. Moving on i think refers to not taking advice given perhaps, or maybe you keep talking about the same thing over and over again. I dont know. Best thing to do is think what you learn from conversations online, etc. Change your approach and be more light headed.


Light headed?

I think you might be sounding too serious, you said your blunt and come across as rude. You can be honest but in a very positive way. Theres abuse and then theres positive criticism. Not to say you are abusing people, but that is what i meant by light headed. I cant really explain it in detail.


I can’t help the way I am because of my autism. It’s something I was born with and I cannot control it.

Prycejosh1987
Posts: 424
Joined: Sun May 31, 2020 10:54 am
Location: Birmingham UK

Re: No one understands me

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Thu Jun 04, 2020 1:34 pm

backstage wrote:
Prycejosh1987 wrote:
backstage wrote:
Light headed?

I think you might be sounding too serious, you said your blunt and come across as rude. You can be honest but in a very positive way. Theres abuse and then theres positive criticism. Not to say you are abusing people, but that is what i meant by light headed. I cant really explain it in detail.


I can’t help the way I am because of my autism. It’s something I was born with and I cannot control it.

But you know what you do, and confess what you have done, that you think is wrong. Its really upto you. Im just giving my opinion, i certainly do not want to upset you. DO what you think is better. If you can control it then be "light headed" if you cant control it then Im sure you will still be able to do the things you want to do. Just because you have autism doesnt mean you cant enjoy life and get what you want.

backstage
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Apr 11, 2020 3:52 am

Re: No one understands me

Postby backstage » Thu Jun 04, 2020 1:38 pm

Prycejosh1987 wrote:
backstage wrote:
Prycejosh1987 wrote:I think you might be sounding too serious, you said your blunt and come across as rude. You can be honest but in a very positive way. Theres abuse and then theres positive criticism. Not to say you are abusing people, but that is what i meant by light headed. I cant really explain it in detail.


I can’t help the way I am because of my autism. It’s something I was born with and I cannot control it.

But you know what you do, and confess what you have done, that you think is wrong. Its really upto you. Im just giving my opinion, i certainly do not want to upset you. DO what you think is better. If you can control it then be "light headed" if you cant control it then Im sure you will still be able to do the things you want to do. Just because you have autism doesnt mean you cant enjoy life and get what you want.


I never said I wasn’t enjoying life and I don’t know what you mean by “getting what you want.” I was just saying thta autism is very difficult to deal with. Please educate yourself.

Prycejosh1987
Posts: 424
Joined: Sun May 31, 2020 10:54 am
Location: Birmingham UK

Re: No one understands me

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Thu Jun 04, 2020 4:14 pm

backstage wrote:
Prycejosh1987 wrote:
backstage wrote:
I can’t help the way I am because of my autism. It’s something I was born with and I cannot control it.

But you know what you do, and confess what you have done, that you think is wrong. Its really upto you. Im just giving my opinion, i certainly do not want to upset you. DO what you think is better. If you can control it then be "light headed" if you cant control it then Im sure you will still be able to do the things you want to do. Just because you have autism doesnt mean you cant enjoy life and get what you want.


I never said I wasn’t enjoying life and I don’t know what you mean by “getting what you want.” I was just saying thta autism is very difficult to deal with. Please educate yourself.

You didnt mean to say that you do not enjoy life in the literal sense, but you did say that communication issues are a hindrance to you and very off-putting. I was being hypothetical. I know autism can be difficult to deal with. I am trying to say have a more positive attitude. I am confident that you can control your autism at least to a degree. You said yourself that you know when something is wrong. Light headed means have a more positive attitude also. I didnt want to sound very superficial. Good luck.


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