love
Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2019 9:20 pm
i need love so badly. i know that its so wrong because i cant love myself so how am i supposed to love someone back? but god. i feel no love in my life at all. not from me, not from my family, and not from my friends. i feel nothing. am i unlovable? do i wear all of my awful traits on my sleeve like some sort of warning sign that makes sure people dont trespass? am i just not worthy of anybodys love? i mean, it really feels like that is the case. but why cant someone just once give me a chaste kiss on my head and tell me everything is okay and that they love me so so so so much. why cant i just have a taste of what love really feels like. would being loved help me at all? or is this just some other false hope that im convinced will fix my stupid brain. like, maybe if im unconditionally loved by someone they can soothe the pain. i thought that i had love a few times. i was let down. by everyone. my heart aches so badly. i dont want romance. i just want love that is undeniably love. something that will give me something to live for. something that will convince me that i can love myself.