What Would You Have Done??

[SoulInDespair]

Hey Everyone! Decided to bring this question here in hopes that maybe someone will have an answer. It's been weighting on my mind for two days.

Let me set the stage. First, I don't drive so I have to either take mass transit or take a cab for things. Friday, I had called a cab to help me get my groceries home. Often times I get the same cab drivers over and over again so I've kind of formed an acquaintance-like relationships with some of them.

Anyway, friday I got one of my cab buddies as I like to call them. He was telling me about how this female friend of his had tried to commit suicide just an hour before he picked me up. He had gone over to the apartment that she shared with her boyfriend and had the door wide open airing it out because she had tried to kill herself by putting her head in the gas oven. She had changed her mind but was crying hystercally because her boyfriend had dumped her and was kicking her out and she felt God had abandon her.

I've never been good at giving advice and when it involves a persons life I get nervous and never know the right thing to say. So I'm hoping that the advice I gave my cabby buddy was the right thing to say.

First, I told him that someone needed to stay with her if she is that suicidal until they could get her help. I told him to call the crisis hotline to see if maybe she could talk to an on call therapist to calm her down. I told him that she was probably having feelings of rejection, pain and worthlessness. He told me that that is what she had said to him. I told him to be supportive, sensitive and understanding with her. That she needed her friends to be on her side right now. I told him that she needs to realize that God hasn't abandon her and that maybe the reason she stopped herself was because one of Gods angels was with her and got her to stop. I'm not a christian but I do believe in God and Jesus. I just don't go to church or read the bible. Also, I said that if he or her girlfriend felt that she was in immient danger and can't stop her from doing herself harm then they needed to call 911. That saving her life was more important then any embarresment that she or they may experience.

Did I do good? Was there something more I could of said? Should I of taken it upon myself to call the cops about her? Please, help. I'm actually feeling a little depressed because I'm worried that maybe she killed herself because I didn't give my cabbie friend enough information to help. I know it's stupid because I know I can't control what others choose to do but I almost feel responsible for her now because I tried to help.

[hey-its-ok]

Hey soulindespair, i think you did a excellent job! Under such circumstances you did wonderfully. I think what you said was already very good and you don't need to feel depressed or that you didn't do enough. You tried to help, and you did a good job, and i don't think she killed herself anyway, so i think that's an episode that is over and gone, and you have done well, and its time to move on... no need to wonder about it anymore, ok

take care.

[SoulInDespair]

Thanks for the reassurance. I just have these terrible thoughts that maybe I said something wrong or didn't say enough and it ended badly. Back in the 80's I tried working the helpline which would quite often get depressed people calling. We had a book of guidlines to follow in cause someone suicidal called. One night this lady called threatening suicide and that she was harming herself by burning her arms with her cigarette. I tried to follow the guidelines laid out in that book but she hung up on me. That upset me so much that I found myself being depressed because I felt I said something that drove her to suicide. Spent days searching the newspaper for any reports of suicide but I never found any. Eventually, I was able to let it go because it was driving me nuts but I vowed I'd never work the hotline again and never have.

[Chrissy]

^I have a sort of unrelated question.. but why couldn't you have called her back?.. is it a rule?... a week ago i called a suicide hotline because i was feeling really depressed.. but i kept hanging up because i was scared and didn't know what to say.. and i wished they would have called me back... if it's a rule, they should change it.

[SoulInDespair]

No not a rule. There just was no way to call her back without a number. I don't even know for sure if the operator could of traced it. This was back in the mid-80's when the helpline would shut down at night and transfer any in coming calls to the home phone of whoever was on call for that night. This was before caller ID. If I could of called her back I would have.

[Chrissy]

oh ok

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((((((((( SoulInDespair )))))))))))))))))))))

A warm hug coming your way.

Warmie