Why am I feeling like this?
Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 11:41 pm
I am new to this and it feels a little weird but I don't want to keep bottling my thoughts I feel I just need to at least write them on here
I come from a family of depression but I never thought I would fall into a slump.iv read many thoughts on these forums and I feel like everything people have wrote relates to how I feel at certain times. Going back 3 weeks ago I got the news that my sister in laws boyfriend who I have known for 5 years and was close with had committed suicide,when I found out more about the reasoning into why through what I had been told I started to realise most of what he was thinking and saying sounds a hell of a lot like what gos in and out of my head.Even before this happened I was having thoughts about doing the same thing it was just always there in my head when work or anything just got too much sometimes it wouldn't be anything I would just have horrific things going through my head.I would come home early from work like half way through the day coz I would just go into these stupid thoughts about...I hate to say it but dying and ways to do it.
Why is this happening I have a beautiful wife and 2 gorgeous boys a 4 year old and a 5 month old, I'm self employed it's not like I'm doing it tough I just want to go.I know this is not normal and It makes me so sad to think that if I don't do something about these feelings it could lead to something bad.i just don't know where to go or talk to I don't want to burden my partner because I don't think she will understand and I'm too embarrass to express my self to anyone else.
I need help but will I ever seek it?
I come from a family of depression but I never thought I would fall into a slump.iv read many thoughts on these forums and I feel like everything people have wrote relates to how I feel at certain times. Going back 3 weeks ago I got the news that my sister in laws boyfriend who I have known for 5 years and was close with had committed suicide,when I found out more about the reasoning into why through what I had been told I started to realise most of what he was thinking and saying sounds a hell of a lot like what gos in and out of my head.Even before this happened I was having thoughts about doing the same thing it was just always there in my head when work or anything just got too much sometimes it wouldn't be anything I would just have horrific things going through my head.I would come home early from work like half way through the day coz I would just go into these stupid thoughts about...I hate to say it but dying and ways to do it.
Why is this happening I have a beautiful wife and 2 gorgeous boys a 4 year old and a 5 month old, I'm self employed it's not like I'm doing it tough I just want to go.I know this is not normal and It makes me so sad to think that if I don't do something about these feelings it could lead to something bad.i just don't know where to go or talk to I don't want to burden my partner because I don't think she will understand and I'm too embarrass to express my self to anyone else.
I need help but will I ever seek it?