Half of a story

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Joelo
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Jan 01, 2014 3:18 am
Location: New Zealand

Half of a story

Postby Joelo » Wed Jan 01, 2014 3:37 am

I guess my story begins when i was born 14 years ago. I have wonderful parents how have given me nothing but the best in life, I am very great-full in all they have done.

Since about year 7 ( I was 11) I was bullied a lot. I didn't take it to heart, It got worse though out the year, until year 8. I was beaten up by girls who I thought were my friends, I was cyber bullied, I with threatened at school, always being that girl around school with black eyes.

Year 7 and 8 are the reasons I am still bullied today and have depression, I self-harm when I need to. mostly at home sometimes at school. I have been put into a mental ward, I have gone through 8 counsellors. I have been in hospital 9 times since I have been in high school for an unsuccessful suicide. I'm upset, alone, hurt and scared. I want peace! where I can be happy.

CrazyLady17

Postby CrazyLady17 » Wed Jan 01, 2014 3:55 am

First off; warm welcome from me :)

Second off;
I'm sorry this has happened to you.
I can relate to all of this; so if you need anything PM me anytime :)

Finally;
I know it's hard but it'll get easier promise...!

Keep reaching out if it helps.

Thankyou for sharing too.

Stay strong.

We are always here.

(((Hugs)))

Ieris
Posts: 217
Joined: Sat Nov 23, 2013 1:36 am
Location: London

Postby Ieris » Wed Jan 01, 2014 6:26 am

Hello Joelo,

Sorry to hear about your ordeal.

Usually bullies have such low self esteem that they need to take it out on someone to make themselves feel superior, unfortunately that victim is you.
I don't think anyone should just take it and hope for things to get better. You will always be the victim if you play the victim.

I know there is no easy answer but there are options:

Fight - if you are scared to fight or cant fight then find people who can. I was timid at school and not one who would start fights, however i did have lots of out of school friends who do and would happily wait for the bullies at the school gates.

I believe victims of bullying should always take up some sort of self defence class, or even things like karate, taewondo, etc. for the purpose of toughening yourself up. Not to beat people up but to protect and defend yourself, your family and friends if you need to, there are so many idiots out there so why not prepare yourself. It is good exercise, you can learn to fight plus you could make friends with people who do know how to fight. Sometimes people who are always alone makes them an easy target so if you don't want to fight then surround yourself with people at least.

Flight - if you don't want to fight or can't fight then run but don't stay there being beaten up. Can you change class? Can you change school? The thing with this is that there is no guarantee that bullying won't happen at the new place.

Bullying doesn't just happen at school to children, it can carry on into adult life. The sooner you train yourself up mentally and physically then you can stop being the victim. People's words won't be able to hurt you and you put yourself in a better position if you are being attacked.

When you self harm, you aren't just hurting yourself, you're hurting those around you. You said that you have wonderful parents who given you the best of everything and you repay their kindness with this? Does self harm change anything? Does it make your problems go away? You are leaving scars which will only remind you of what happened.

You are vulnerable and weak right now but to make it all go away you need to grow strong. Stop being the victim, only you can change that x

CrazyLady17

Postby CrazyLady17 » Wed Jan 01, 2014 6:32 am

I agree with everything...

Bullies are low lifes believe me. I've been bullied for 12 years now and I still get bullied now, I have had 7 and more unsuccessful suicide attmeps and currently in hospital at the moment after attempting suicide again...
Suicide isn't the answer my lovely. Don't let the bullies ruin you life and don't let them win okay?

You can fight this. You just need to let people in to help and support you.

What about your parents?
Do they know about all this? What about friends?
You need people around you right now.

Stay strong,
You'll get through this.

(((Hugs))) x

Frame
Moderator
Posts: 1081
Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:25 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Postby Frame » Wed Jan 01, 2014 7:52 am

Hi Jeolo;

A couple things:

First in agreement with most of what has been said here, bullies are not determined and focused. They are confused and hurt inside. They pick on the easiest targets they can find.
When you self harm, you aren't just hurting yourself, you're hurting those around you. You said that you have wonderful parents who given you the best of everything and you repay their kindness with this? Does self harm change anything? Does it make your problems go away? You are leaving scars which will only remind you of what happened.
You are also posting a sign to the bullies.

Second, Bullies are followers not leaders. If you can find just one person, a rung above the bullies, someone they leave alone [of course, the higher up the ladder you land, the better for you.] and hang with them the bullies will go look for the next easiest target.

Third, I know 8 councillors and a metal ward sounds like a lot (and yes it is a lot) but don't give up. The councillor that will help you won't get picked from a tree of ripe councillors. I think there is a unique fit between the personality of patient and therapist. I believe you can and will find the help you need if you keep trying. Isn't it worth it if, down the road, you can work through this and be as happy as you feel you should?

So welcome and best for the New Year;
You can make it great.
Frame

CrazyLady17

Postby CrazyLady17 » Sun Jan 12, 2014 5:23 am

Just wondering.....
How are you doing?
Am thinking of you and am praying that the bullying stops for you soon.

Prycejosh1987
Posts: 415
Joined: Sun May 31, 2020 10:54 am
Location: Birmingham UK

Re: Half of a story

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Sun Jun 07, 2020 2:26 pm

Joelo wrote:I guess my story begins when i was born 14 years ago. I have wonderful parents how have given me nothing but the best in life, I am very great-full in all they have done.

Since about year 7 ( I was 11) I was bullied a lot. I didn't take it to heart, It got worse though out the year, until year 8. I was beaten up by girls who I thought were my friends, I was cyber bullied, I with threatened at school, always being that girl around school with black eyes.

Year 7 and 8 are the reasons I am still bullied today and have depression, I self-harm when I need to. mostly at home sometimes at school. I have been put into a mental ward, I have gone through 8 counsellors. I have been in hospital 9 times since I have been in high school for an unsuccessful suicide. I'm upset, alone, hurt and scared. I want peace! where I can be happy.

Sorry to hear that, I was also bullied by girls at school. i was a boy, and i was bullied emotionally in different ways. All the help in the world cannot help you unless you are willing to start the change. The change starts from you not from counsellors or the mental ward. They can assist you but the change comes from you. You are the one that has to have self respect and self esteem in yourself. If you dont respect yourself no one truly will.


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