Help?

[Clearist]

Sorry if I posted this in the wrong section, but here goes.

Im 13, 14 in Dec, it must of been atleast 4-5 months now I've been feeling like this. Tons of people go through a hell of a lot worse then me, but I'm not sure if I have depression. Please dont give me a list of things that are symptoms when your depressed, because lately I do always feel tired and have a alright amount of sleep. I'm always crying, I always say to myself alone I dont want to be here and I hate my life and such. I feel hopeless because I dont have a best friend or a friend to open up to anymore because she has gone off me with another girl, I suppose thats one of the reasons. And I try to invite my friend round but she always feels off with me and people always go out without me even though theres no reason they cant invite me, I honestly am a very kind person and do my very best to please everyone. And I always wanted to by skinny and always tell myself not to eat, but I end up eating anyway. And in technology (woodwork) today I cut myself by accident and was tempted to steal it to self harm, I've never self harm before but always been tempted to. I dont know what to do, its way to embarrassing to tell a teacher/doctor/parent and I dont have a friend I can trust. I honeslty dont think I can live this longer like this, I'm trapped like it feels like theres no way out. Please dont comment saying theres no way out kid or silly comments, and I'm also really shy. Thanks X

Sorry its long, but its got to the point that im really struggling.

[fallen]

your young and feeling like most people of your age, you are at one of the first hurdles of your life.
keep going for i have found that life is beautiful and worth struggling through don't give up.
there are lots of nice people on here so maybe they can give you ideas on how to make it better.
the best people in life are all just a little bit bonkers.
take care and be kind to your self..

[dougsan]

Just thinking about the trials and tribulations of my life from 12 through 15 is enough to cause nightmares. Clearist, your pain and discomfort hurt me. I wish there was a magic pill you could take to make life seem "even" but there isn't. Life is not equal nor is it fair. The "in" crowd may not want you for a million absurd reasons; your weight, your depressed state, the color of your hair, the style of clothing you wear, the brand of shoes, etc. When the in crowd doesn't include you there is nothing you can do except find another group, one that fits with you or become a loner. Choosing to be a loner means you will be alone and not many of us are strong enough to face the world alone.

My friends when I was 13 years old changed their likes and dislikes. At 12 we all liked sports of all kinds. At 13 only baseball and girls were of interest. I was at a loss because I didn't like girls so I had a choice change my values or find other friends. I chose other friends -- this was not easy but it's what I had to do if I didn't want to be alone.

The years leading up to high school graduation, in my opinion, are the most difficult you will have to go through. In the mid teen years you are becoming an adult. Your core values are being set and you are learning how to truly read your friends. College will bring you through this phase again but you will have your foundation, your core values to help by then.

I do hope you manage to improve your position and your depression. You will get through this phase of your life. You will also enter and complete many phases as you seek maturity.

Keep writing and reading in ths forum. Please let us know how things are going.