Words.

[jj]

I see a beauty in my sadness today.

There is a lot of beauty around us but it is easy to lose sight of when you feel stuck in this state of introspection.

I have gone from being reflective on all of the world around me but not in myself at all, to discovering an awareness of myself and my internal affairs, and I've gone the opposite way now and am struggling to get out of this reflection of myself. My therapist says this is part of the journey and many people when coming back from depression go through this process too, which is reassuring.

Still I am stuck thinking all day most days, which is not something I am used to. And I don't think it's healthy. I'm trying to find something constructive out of these thoughts.

My sadness has changed from being beautiful to just being sadness again now. I could feel it in my heart before, now its sitting at the top of my head, cold and not connected to my soul.

Words words words.

[jj]

I feel broken. I dont know if i actually think I am broken. I just feel it and I don't know how to feel whole. I don't know if I've felt whole before, well I guess I must have, probably either before I got depressed or before I became aware of everything that was going on in me. I just really miss being a kid oblivious to everything. Being naiive is a blessing I think.

[Av]

I know how you feel. Often we tend to focus on what makes us sad, and that makes us feel as if we are missing something. Sadness is basically borne out of a feeling of something being missing in our lives, and when the vice versa also becomes true, we are caught in a cycle where we find it difficult to break out and think freely. I think it's a good and positive thing, in a way, that you try to convert these thoughts into something constructive and see beauty in them. But then again, it only means that you tend to focus on the same set of thoughts and eventually the sadness comes back again.

I face something similar, and my way of dealing with it is humor, and witty and completely outlandish humor, so as to try and push these thoughts to the corner as much as possible. Often when we try to be too serious with things, or take too many things seriously, we become pensive and that makes it easier for our sadness to regain control of our thoughts.

I wish you all the best.