Depression Understood Forums

Does anyone have those days where everything is just so intense that even breathing seems like it could break you apart? I think I'm doing fairly well with handling the world around me right now. I know I've got some major stressors in my life, but I'm talking about them and trying to work through them instead of bottle my emotions up. But I think it's getting to me more then I knew about. Lately I've noticed my self esteem, and self worth has gone way down and I'm falling back into that dark place I worked out of before. I'm scared because of how intense the emotions are, and I know that I'm more inclined to dark thought patterns. But I don't know who to talk to about it because my counclor already thinks I may take my own life(I won't, I just picture it a lot because of using it as a copeing mechanism when I was younger). But I'm starting to scare myself, and I don't want to be who I was before. Completely enslaved by my emotions.

I don't think theres a question in there, but their the main thoughts rattling around my brain right now, and I had to get them out. Thank you for taking the time to read it.

On a side note, this site has helped me a great deal. And even little comments people leave help to give me hope, so thank you.

Hi Crista! (((((((((((((((((((((((( Crista )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

First of all, good job for trying. You did really good! ^^ (You are paying attention to yourself & monitoring your moods.)

Is something triggering you?

Some of my 1st thoughts was maybe more "you" time? Is there something that calms you? Maybe you could do that activity.... (Sometimes I do find-a-word puzzles to like "timeout" from stuff...)

I don't know if my words helped.... I wasn't really sure what to say....

Take care & post back if you need to do so. If it is a trigger, just put trigger in the title.

Hi Crista,

Looking forward to getting the chance to know you better. It seems so often that people have no trouble, spouting off whatever to anyone that they meet.

They don't seem to realize how hard it is for some of us to verbalize our thoughts.

For too many years, I kept too much stuff inside. I didn't let the thoughts out, they just kept whirling around in my head, going faster and faster.

The forum has been quite a boon for me. Instead of keeping all those dark thoughts inside, I know find it easier to let them out. I sit down at the keyboard and let the thoughts out.

The thing that happens to me, because of that behavior, is like I have let a load off my mind because no one from the forum ever makes fun of my thoughts.

It is like I know that people read what I say and no one has asked me to leave the forum, yet.

Take care and keep posting to us, if you can.