In my mind, I am never good enough. I will never be good enough. No matter what I do, no matter what people say, I'm never going to amount to anything important or worthwhile.
No matter how much praise I receive, every time I do something wrong it multiplies in my brain. I may seem like I'm acting like a spoiled brat but I'm really trying not to. I'm just trying to be perfect.
I know this is impossible but every time I'm not perfect, I end up going into a state of depression or have a break down. So far, this week, I've had two break downs.
I have no idea how to get help, I have no idea what to do. I'm begging you, help me. I talked to my mom a couple weeks ago but she told me I have no reason to feel like I wasn't good enough. I can't help how I feel and now I feel like what I'm feeling is wrong.
Has anyone felt like this?
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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
- Posts: 29195
- Joined: Mon Jun 05, 2006 8:46 pm
- Contact:
((((((((((((((( Deoyx ))))))))))))
Hi and welcome to the site, supporting people here.
I can only suggest you accept yourself for who you are. No one is perfect and trying to be will only make things seem so bad. Listen to what your mother tells you, she is the one that knows you best, and guessing she is there for you. It is good you can talk openly with her.
Your feelings are real, I do believe that. Perhaps you can talk with your minister, a teacher (not sure if that applies), your doctor. There are medications for depression, and some do help.
Warmie
Hi and welcome to the site, supporting people here.
I can only suggest you accept yourself for who you are. No one is perfect and trying to be will only make things seem so bad. Listen to what your mother tells you, she is the one that knows you best, and guessing she is there for you. It is good you can talk openly with her.
Your feelings are real, I do believe that. Perhaps you can talk with your minister, a teacher (not sure if that applies), your doctor. There are medications for depression, and some do help.
Warmie
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BeautifulDisatr
- Posts: 20
- Joined: Tue Jan 04, 2011 3:24 pm
- Location: Chatsworth, CA
(((((((( Deoyx ))))))))
There is nothing WRONG with what you are feeling. Everyday I feel like this!!! And what is frustrating and disheartening to me is that these feelings suffocate me on a daily bases. I know in my mind that I am not perfect. I do have rational moments while where I tell myself I am a good person, who is kind, hard working, loving, special but the FEELINGS of never being able to do anything right, constantly feeling worthless, unimportant, invisible to the world and completely useless turn my thoughts into a cesspool toxic thoughts which don’t just stop. I too am told by my boyfriend, family, and children to stop thinking that way; to “knock it off”; that I am doing it on purpose for attention and that is not the TRUTH; which then make me feel like crap more.
My opinion is therapy helps but it is important to find the right kind of therapy that works for you, that you are comfortable with the person/people and manner in which they are helping you. I believe we cannot do it on our own, but ultimately we are the ones who have to make the changes and take the journey to improve our mental and emotional health. Finding this site (and a few others sites) has helped me – so I hope you keep coming back and posting. We are all here for each other!
I don’t know you but I am confident you are a great person. Start small and eventually when you look back you will see the remarkable journey to a happier and more fulfilled YOU. It’s not about being perfect to the world and what’s around you. It’s about YOU and finding serenity with who you are and embracing that.
There Is a Hole in My Sidewalk
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
By Portia Nelson
Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep whole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit…but,
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately,
Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter Five
I walk down another street.
There is nothing WRONG with what you are feeling. Everyday I feel like this!!! And what is frustrating and disheartening to me is that these feelings suffocate me on a daily bases. I know in my mind that I am not perfect. I do have rational moments while where I tell myself I am a good person, who is kind, hard working, loving, special but the FEELINGS of never being able to do anything right, constantly feeling worthless, unimportant, invisible to the world and completely useless turn my thoughts into a cesspool toxic thoughts which don’t just stop. I too am told by my boyfriend, family, and children to stop thinking that way; to “knock it off”; that I am doing it on purpose for attention and that is not the TRUTH; which then make me feel like crap more.
My opinion is therapy helps but it is important to find the right kind of therapy that works for you, that you are comfortable with the person/people and manner in which they are helping you. I believe we cannot do it on our own, but ultimately we are the ones who have to make the changes and take the journey to improve our mental and emotional health. Finding this site (and a few others sites) has helped me – so I hope you keep coming back and posting. We are all here for each other!
I don’t know you but I am confident you are a great person. Start small and eventually when you look back you will see the remarkable journey to a happier and more fulfilled YOU. It’s not about being perfect to the world and what’s around you. It’s about YOU and finding serenity with who you are and embracing that.
There Is a Hole in My Sidewalk
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
By Portia Nelson
Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep whole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit…but,
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately,
Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter Five
I walk down another street.
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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
- Posts: 29195
- Joined: Mon Jun 05, 2006 8:46 pm
- Contact:
-
Mysticalflame
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Sat Jan 22, 2011 9:43 pm
Re: Has anyone felt like this?
deoyx wrote:In my mind, I am never good enough. I will never be good enough. No matter what I do, no matter what people say, I'm never going to amount to anything important or worthwhile.
No matter how much praise I receive, every time I do something wrong it multiplies in my brain. I may seem like I'm acting like a spoiled brat but I'm really trying not to. I'm just trying to be perfect.
I know this is impossible but every time I'm not perfect, I end up going into a state of depression or have a break down. So far, this week, I've had two break downs.
I have no idea how to get help, I have no idea what to do. I'm begging you, help me. I talked to my mom a couple weeks ago but she told me I have no reason to feel like I wasn't good enough. I can't help how I feel and now I feel like what I'm feeling is wrong.
Yes, I understand how you feel. It's not that we are trying to be perfect, we just want to do the right things, be less of a hassle to other people. At least that's my case.
I hate the feeling of troubling people so I try my best to manage everything about myself. Whenever I have problems, I keep them to myself and try to solve them on my own. Sometimes when I failed to solve a problem, I just blamed myself. Blamed myself for not being good enough and that's why there are problems and I deserved all these miseries.
I know it sounds like a cliche, but talking to people helps. Not just talking to get advice or help, but just talking about how you feel and everything. Just let it out.
(: Take care.
Hi Deoyx,
The advice the others gave you are great. It sounds like you put yourself down so much. Negative self talk. Try and change tht to something more positive. Like okay maybe I didnt get it right this tme, but look at how many times you got it right before. Or look at it like okay I know what I did wrong this time so I know what not to do next time.
You are good enough. Write down something you like about yourself, examples: if you write or play an instrument, if you are a good listener,good taste in clothes. My point is anything at all tha you like yourself. Write it down, say it out loud for a while. Then do anoher and say them both.
Noone is perfect,and while Im not an overachiever or strive for perfection there are times it wells up inside of me, it causes me to panic, I can't think of nothing else. Its giant. What you are feeling is real. You have a right to how you feel. You're not spoiled. You deserve and need to keep reaching out for help and know you arent alone.
Holly
The advice the others gave you are great. It sounds like you put yourself down so much. Negative self talk. Try and change tht to something more positive. Like okay maybe I didnt get it right this tme, but look at how many times you got it right before. Or look at it like okay I know what I did wrong this time so I know what not to do next time.
You are good enough. Write down something you like about yourself, examples: if you write or play an instrument, if you are a good listener,good taste in clothes. My point is anything at all tha you like yourself. Write it down, say it out loud for a while. Then do anoher and say them both.
Noone is perfect,and while Im not an overachiever or strive for perfection there are times it wells up inside of me, it causes me to panic, I can't think of nothing else. Its giant. What you are feeling is real. You have a right to how you feel. You're not spoiled. You deserve and need to keep reaching out for help and know you arent alone.
Holly
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suncatcher
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 9:20 pm
- Location: oklahoma
((((( ))))))
you have to first ask yourself...who or what am i comparing myself with or to... is there someone around you so seemingly perfect? for a lot of folks, being seemingly perfect is a flaw in itself.
you and i and everyone here on this forum, on all of the earth are flesh,blood and bone. my brothers are all tall ,lean college degreed successes, i am short and chubby and have acheived only minor successes. i used to let that bother me, i felt well...inadequate by comaparison, until i realized, i was the only one doing the comparing...
I believe when you tell yourself ,well not to sound silly,but i am good enogugh, i am smart enough..and if there are people who believe anything less about me..then I dont need them..
if you are the one believing less of yourself, reaffirm to yourself daily that you are an individual, and you are okay with you. and it is perfectly okay to tell your own brain to shut up
i have a little blue brain blanky, when i cant stand the rattling in my brain anymore, i do to it what i do with my birds at night....i cover it with that blue blanky... (my favorite color) you can have whatever color you like.
be blessed
you and i and everyone here on this forum, on all of the earth are flesh,blood and bone. my brothers are all tall ,lean college degreed successes, i am short and chubby and have acheived only minor successes. i used to let that bother me, i felt well...inadequate by comaparison, until i realized, i was the only one doing the comparing...
I believe when you tell yourself ,well not to sound silly,but i am good enogugh, i am smart enough..and if there are people who believe anything less about me..then I dont need them..
if you are the one believing less of yourself, reaffirm to yourself daily that you are an individual, and you are okay with you. and it is perfectly okay to tell your own brain to shut up
i have a little blue brain blanky, when i cant stand the rattling in my brain anymore, i do to it what i do with my birds at night....i cover it with that blue blanky... (my favorite color) you can have whatever color you like.
be blessed
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(Un)Enlightened
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Sun Dec 26, 2010 9:12 pm
Has anyone felt like this?
Hello deoyx,
GOD. YES. As in I've felt the unrelentless need to become the Mozart or Carl Sagan of the 21st century. Break downs? Been there, done that. Many times in fact. I have such a competitive streak in me, plus I'm bit of a control freak, that I often hold myself to ridiculous standards and get depressed when I can't reach my goals or when I can't reach them fast enough- I'm also impatient.
It's a horrible combination! However, it often helps to remind myself to take things a little less seriously and focus on enjoying life instead of ruining it for myself. So what if I will never become an astronaut! I can always watch Apollo 13 on TiVo! It's close enough!
Honestly, it's always about your attitude towards life. I think we all feel the pressure from society to be the best of the best, the créme de la créme, the most famous, intelligent and beautiful thing that we can be, to some extend, but you yourself choose whether or not to bow down under that pressure. We all don't have to be polymaths, social butterflies or otherwise high achieving; it's okay to be human. Most of us are average. We have office jobs. We mess up. We all have weaknesses, even the ones who are considered genius. (Example: Einstein was socially awkward) But even if you lead an "average" life, you can still think outside the box. Be creative in your life. Spice things up a bit and introduce negativity to the ground. The real heroes are the ones who can stay positive, no matter the situation or other people's opinion. Love yourself, because you are AWESOME. Really. There isn't anyone like you, not even if there were an infinite amount of universes. We're all unique snowflakes in each one, baby.
However, if you're still guaranteed you want to aspire to greatness, and you have a certain dream in mind, don't give up on it. I'm not abandoning mine, even though it's pretty unrealistic of me! Just take it easy.
Love, Un(Enlightened)
GOD. YES. As in I've felt the unrelentless need to become the Mozart or Carl Sagan of the 21st century. Break downs? Been there, done that. Many times in fact. I have such a competitive streak in me, plus I'm bit of a control freak, that I often hold myself to ridiculous standards and get depressed when I can't reach my goals or when I can't reach them fast enough- I'm also impatient.
It's a horrible combination! However, it often helps to remind myself to take things a little less seriously and focus on enjoying life instead of ruining it for myself. So what if I will never become an astronaut! I can always watch Apollo 13 on TiVo! It's close enough!
Honestly, it's always about your attitude towards life. I think we all feel the pressure from society to be the best of the best, the créme de la créme, the most famous, intelligent and beautiful thing that we can be, to some extend, but you yourself choose whether or not to bow down under that pressure. We all don't have to be polymaths, social butterflies or otherwise high achieving; it's okay to be human. Most of us are average. We have office jobs. We mess up. We all have weaknesses, even the ones who are considered genius. (Example: Einstein was socially awkward) But even if you lead an "average" life, you can still think outside the box. Be creative in your life. Spice things up a bit and introduce negativity to the ground. The real heroes are the ones who can stay positive, no matter the situation or other people's opinion. Love yourself, because you are AWESOME. Really. There isn't anyone like you, not even if there were an infinite amount of universes. We're all unique snowflakes in each one, baby.
However, if you're still guaranteed you want to aspire to greatness, and you have a certain dream in mind, don't give up on it. I'm not abandoning mine, even though it's pretty unrealistic of me! Just take it easy.
Love, Un(Enlightened)
hi deoyx,
someone said to me the other day "just because something isn't perfect, doesn't mean that its not beautiful, or that it is wrong"
i feel inadequate most of the time too, but we just have to remember that we are all human beings, we are all equal, we all do things well, and we all make mistakes; that is what makes us human. where would all the fun be if we all did everything right every single time! we make mistakes to learn and grow from the mistakes, and to learn and grow, as people.
just remember you are you, there is only one of you, so you are perfectly perfect in all that you are. no-one can be 'you', better than you can be 'you'.
big hug from me to you (((((deoyx)))))
jj
someone said to me the other day "just because something isn't perfect, doesn't mean that its not beautiful, or that it is wrong"
i feel inadequate most of the time too, but we just have to remember that we are all human beings, we are all equal, we all do things well, and we all make mistakes; that is what makes us human. where would all the fun be if we all did everything right every single time! we make mistakes to learn and grow from the mistakes, and to learn and grow, as people.
just remember you are you, there is only one of you, so you are perfectly perfect in all that you are. no-one can be 'you', better than you can be 'you'.
big hug from me to you (((((deoyx)))))
jj
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