You ever get the vague feeling, man, there has GOT to be more...? The feeling that there IS more...
And that by NOT moving on the "more," you deny yourself...
...something.
But, what of all the karma... the causation... of your life? Family, friends, loved ones, responsibilities?
Decisions long made. And I MUST follow-through. Can I find the "more" there? In what I already have? I've GOT to believe that!
Then there are times when depression crushes everything... indiscriminately; taking away all desire for the "more." Then I look at my life and ask, WTH? WTF? Who have I been kidding... deluding... I become ground into the dirt. But I still hold my breath, wanting to see the "more" to have its implication restored to my psyche.
What am I supposed to do with it? I see it. I sense it. I grok it. But I do not know what to do with it. How? To what end?
I don't want the answers. I just want to be at peace with it.
There is no spoon
Moderators: windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
Nenkohai, speaking for myself, the "more" that alludes me when my depression gets me low enough is how many people love me and are honestly concerned.
My depression causes me to isolate myself and dwell on the ugliness of previous life experiences for which I am ashamed or angry, or both. These attacks on my self-worth make me feel not worthy of friendship let alone love. I scream into my darkness that there has to be more. There has to be a reason for living. My screams are not heard because I can't find the motivation or energy to speak out loud. It is easier and safer to sit in a dark corner and feel sorry for myself.
Fortunately I have found a good shrink and he has me on a good medicine that keeps my depression at bay 90% of the time. We're working now on finding a med to aid me to sleep. I'm a recovering addict (booze and other drugs) so he will not prescribe anything that can be physicallly addictive.
If you want someone to chat with, send me a PM or drop a post in DU and I'll get back to you.
My depression causes me to isolate myself and dwell on the ugliness of previous life experiences for which I am ashamed or angry, or both. These attacks on my self-worth make me feel not worthy of friendship let alone love. I scream into my darkness that there has to be more. There has to be a reason for living. My screams are not heard because I can't find the motivation or energy to speak out loud. It is easier and safer to sit in a dark corner and feel sorry for myself.
Fortunately I have found a good shrink and he has me on a good medicine that keeps my depression at bay 90% of the time. We're working now on finding a med to aid me to sleep. I'm a recovering addict (booze and other drugs) so he will not prescribe anything that can be physicallly addictive.
If you want someone to chat with, send me a PM or drop a post in DU and I'll get back to you.
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angelheart
Hello Nik, thank you for your warm welcome. I am assuming when you say there is something more you mean than life has to offer right now?
When I used to be a counsellor I always asked my clients if it's ok to change the word depressed for overwhelmed, the reason for this is so the bad is taken out of it it's no longer wrong, the second it becomes not wrong people lighten instantly, we are bound to become overwhelmed when so many of us carry around feelings of hurt, pain, shame, guilt and fear which we are taught from very young not to acknowledge, we are taught to label unwanted feelings as bad or wrong and taught to avoid them, to distract ourselves or do something that would make us feel better, the bottom line is there are no bad or wrong feelings there are only feelings the trick is to learn to welcome them all.
Every feeling has an energy attached to it, all our feelings want from us is acknowledgment, when they don't get acknowledegement because we are taught if we feel them we will lose the plot or worse die all the feelings become trapped inside us, energy only has one job which is to move so when an unwanted feeling comes up allow yourself to feel it in it's fullest form allow it to vibrate throughout your body it will then disappear never to return, it may be traumatic depending on what the feeling is associated with there might be extreme pain around the heart, tears and a feeling of loss of control but each time it's for a couple of minutes and contrary to what we have all been told it won't kill you it will heal you and make room in your energy system for better, healthier feelings to come in.
I hope this helps.
Love
Rebecca
When I used to be a counsellor I always asked my clients if it's ok to change the word depressed for overwhelmed, the reason for this is so the bad is taken out of it it's no longer wrong, the second it becomes not wrong people lighten instantly, we are bound to become overwhelmed when so many of us carry around feelings of hurt, pain, shame, guilt and fear which we are taught from very young not to acknowledge, we are taught to label unwanted feelings as bad or wrong and taught to avoid them, to distract ourselves or do something that would make us feel better, the bottom line is there are no bad or wrong feelings there are only feelings the trick is to learn to welcome them all.
Every feeling has an energy attached to it, all our feelings want from us is acknowledgment, when they don't get acknowledegement because we are taught if we feel them we will lose the plot or worse die all the feelings become trapped inside us, energy only has one job which is to move so when an unwanted feeling comes up allow yourself to feel it in it's fullest form allow it to vibrate throughout your body it will then disappear never to return, it may be traumatic depending on what the feeling is associated with there might be extreme pain around the heart, tears and a feeling of loss of control but each time it's for a couple of minutes and contrary to what we have all been told it won't kill you it will heal you and make room in your energy system for better, healthier feelings to come in.
I hope this helps.
Love
Rebecca
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