1 of My Ex-Professors: Lucky Me

[crystalgaze]

Well, there is this odd issue I seem to have yet again (although my 1st counter for this is to simply ignore him or give a very direct "No").

One of my professors from undergrad keeps trying to be up under me.... & it evokes several different feelings out of a normally calm cool me (namely annoyance & possible anger).

When I say up under me, there has always been a sexual feel/undertone to what he says/writes (& I am in no mood).... I will call him "Amatti"....

He just will not quit even though I've ignored him previously & I even made sure that we don't email regularly. At one point, the ultimate thing that warded him off was when I told him I got a boyfriend. I dodged him quite a bit--both now & then--especially then because I knew no one would believe me or if they did, they would not take my side with it, since I would not have had any undeniable, irrefutable proof.

& now, really I am between 3 feelings: ignoring him, telling him off OR (& the third is appealing to my dhremonic side is to play devil's advocate & ask him directly what his intentions are & what he means, just to see what he says).

I don't think I could have been misreading him & his words for ALL THESE YEARS. He has always made it pretty clear, as far as I am concerned & I will spare you all the imagery.

I started undergrad in 2001... 2001 is when we met. I finished in 2005. You do the Math... It is now 2010. I AM PRETTY SURE ABOUT IT & I've never been one to hanky panky with my professors--current, ex or otherwise.... (It's just not my thing... I go for men in uniforms.... ~rofl~)

I believe my anime/manga/video game side is really urging me to find a way to get him to tell me exactly what he means, wants, etc. I have NO INTENTION of jumping to a conclusion, where he can mosey his way out of the situation & save face.

Either I will squash, no crush him & this stuff NOW ONCE & FOR ALL or I will leave it alone.... just ease away from it all & leave it alone....

REALLY I AM TIRING OF THIS FOREPLAY.....


I may very well get to the bottom of this very soon.... This **** is bugging me out right about now. However, I'm not going to get my pom pom in a knot.... Um... Oh... I meant my blood vessels in a knot...

[crystalgaze]

Well, I think I cleared it all up a bit....

I think it's official for me.... There are some things I'm really just a bit daft at & maybe that will not change....

I've never understood why my professor like me so much. He said he wanted to be invited to my wedding & I so totally don't understand that one.

Why would that be at all important? (that happening... Why even being there would be at all noteworthy?)

~lol~ I'm not sure I'm going to get married. Marriage is like a bad word to me.... In my head, it is worse than mf, f, sh, etc.... (most of the curse words you can think of any day of the week....)

If I did, it would either be just signing the license + prenup & being done with it or doing a theme--like a genie or something... (but that genie idea is becoming less and less attractive to me)

My emotions are nearly death-silent. Love almost comes in a close second to the M word but pregnancy probably takes the cake for me.

I so can't wait to be sterilized....

[aim]

Ah Gaze... I hope for you sake that one day you meet the man who will make you see marriage as a blessing and not a curse.