“I Can’t Have Children”
Posted: Thu Jan 09, 2025 9:59 pm
My wife and I don’t want children. We decided this very early on in our relationship, made it crystal clear to each other that our feelings on this would NEVER change, and have continued ever since to have a caring, devoted relationship to each other.
Our reasons for this are deeply personal. Along with the “focused on career, want to travel, who the hell could afford them” reasons that a lot of people have, my wife and I both had tough childhoods and both still feel trauma from them. We both deal with depression and anxiety, and on any given week one ot both of could have a “spell” where we just don’t really feel like getting out of bed or taking care of ourselves.
Given that, neither of us feel like we could ever give 100 percent of ourselves to raising a child, when it can be a little tough for both of us to just take care of ourselves sometimes.
After we got married, we were both BAFFLED at the number of people who felt it was appropriate to ask why we weren’t planning on having children. Family, friends, acquaintances, and total f****** strangers at the bar would often incline their heads and say “Really, may I ask why?”
This could be very embarrassing for both of us, as neither of us felt comfortable telling people that the real reason we don’t want kids is because we both have mental health issues that we deal with on a daily basis. Weird, right?
One night in New York City, my wife accidentally found the solution to our problem. There was a drunk girl at the bar who asked if we were planning on having children. When we said no, the girl started saying something that was no doubt going to offend us:
“I’m going to say something that might offend you…”, she slurred, “But I think…”
My wife, who had completely had it with these questions at this point, cut her off suddenly. “I’m unable to have children”.
slope game
The girl turned pale, looked like she was going to vomit, and stammered out apologies for five minutes until we just paid our tab and left.
Our reasons for this are deeply personal. Along with the “focused on career, want to travel, who the hell could afford them” reasons that a lot of people have, my wife and I both had tough childhoods and both still feel trauma from them. We both deal with depression and anxiety, and on any given week one ot both of could have a “spell” where we just don’t really feel like getting out of bed or taking care of ourselves.
Given that, neither of us feel like we could ever give 100 percent of ourselves to raising a child, when it can be a little tough for both of us to just take care of ourselves sometimes.
After we got married, we were both BAFFLED at the number of people who felt it was appropriate to ask why we weren’t planning on having children. Family, friends, acquaintances, and total f****** strangers at the bar would often incline their heads and say “Really, may I ask why?”
This could be very embarrassing for both of us, as neither of us felt comfortable telling people that the real reason we don’t want kids is because we both have mental health issues that we deal with on a daily basis. Weird, right?
One night in New York City, my wife accidentally found the solution to our problem. There was a drunk girl at the bar who asked if we were planning on having children. When we said no, the girl started saying something that was no doubt going to offend us:
“I’m going to say something that might offend you…”, she slurred, “But I think…”
My wife, who had completely had it with these questions at this point, cut her off suddenly. “I’m unable to have children”.
slope game
The girl turned pale, looked like she was going to vomit, and stammered out apologies for five minutes until we just paid our tab and left.
