I have decided to publish something I wrote

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

Moderators: windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, vince13, Maelstrom, Astrid

paoolowww

I have decided to publish something I wrote

Postby paoolowww » Mon Apr 04, 2022 1:20 am

I hate myself in several ways, my whole physique and everything I am, I still can't find reasons to want to continue, I can't get well, and I have no hope that this will work, I think it's because I don't do anything right and I have no hope in myself, I feel like I'm a hopeless case, I feel worse than before and I can't understand my feelings or the internal pain I feel, everything in my mind is chaos without any kind of order, I feel so destroyed inside , I feel that nobody loves me, I feel that someone will never care, I feel that they are lying when they say that they love me, I really doubt it, and that I do not usually receive so much affection, and it is strange because I do not understand why it makes me feel bad that no one loves me, I can't find why that makes me feel bad, I feel so weird questioning everything because I'm just looking for an answer or I don't know, I just want to calm down but I'm so anxious that my thoughts become more difficult to understand right now, everything seems to go faster Gone, I have no control over anything I can't calm down and I'm so sad and I can't find the reason for my sadness, everything overwhelms me, I try to write what I think but it also makes it a bit difficult for me because I don't write everything in an orderly manner and I don't i write everything down because i know it's so much but every thought and feeling is so hard to describe and decipher i start to think that all my "problems" are silly and don't matter, also nothing makes sense the world is empty we're all empty we think that to have moments of happiness or to have a stable life then we are fine as people but really it is because it is more satisfying but that is what is really good or is it correct? I feel so confused with everything, I can't find any explanation to want to live, to how I feel, to what I think, everything, I feel trapped in my mind I can't see what is the point of wanting to continue with all this, neither why I feel the need to hide, and it is very difficult for me to talk about what I feel because it is pain, but I cannot find a complete explanation for it

Pta2604
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Apr 16, 2022 11:06 pm

Re: I have decided to publish something I wrote

Postby Pta2604 » Sun Apr 17, 2022 12:06 am

I'm scared with how much i can relate with this . I just feel so empty and nothing excites me now . It's like i just exist without any meaning . I wonder how some people are so filled with life when I'm just constantly sad . I think i should just focus on my future and do something to survive but i have no interest in doing anything , so i just laze around all day and it's increases my hate towards myself even more . I'm not happy with me at all , and when people say they like me and i matter , to me it feels like they're just being polite and no one really cares . But i have no intentions to end this life , i can't be more of a disappointment to my parents , they were always good to me , so i just try to exist and pass each day . Now i just want someone who can understand me really , but i doubt that's gonna happen . So i totally feel what you're saying

kettlemother
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jul 18, 2023 11:16 pm

Re: I have decided to publish something I wrote

Postby kettlemother » Tue Jul 18, 2023 11:17 pm

My ankles are strapped with a hundred million pounds of weight, and I am unable to see the ground. I guess I've given up on this conflict, which I've already won once and managed to handle. But why now? I am no longer able to battle it because it is winning. I promise that I tried my hardest, but it is now irrelevant. It's time to let it win since resisting causes much more pain than allowing it to have its way. At least it will only be painful for a moment.

Prycejosh1987
Posts: 424
Joined: Sun May 31, 2020 10:54 am
Location: Birmingham UK

Re: I have decided to publish something I wrote

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Fri Aug 11, 2023 4:42 pm

The change you need starts from loving yourself. You are loved and you are needed by God and by loved ones. Most importantly you have to love yourself because the basis to growth and mental development starts with self love and respect. Spiritual outlook is a course of a road designed to engage you with an audience of influence.


Return to “Expressions”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 196 guests