Slippery Slope

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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MindOverEmotion
Posts: 11
Joined: Sun Jul 18, 2021 5:30 am

Slippery Slope

Postby MindOverEmotion » Thu Jan 20, 2022 12:56 pm

My life is one big petri dish of emotions, revolving around feeling punished/burdened and feeling rewarded/accepted for things that I can't control whether they are admirable or not. If I were to be graded on a scholarly assignment, I would get a C- while not trying hard enough, and I'd get a C+ for devoting my life to that assignment.

I went through a very long and numerous set of ECT treatments. It was my last resort effort to find some state of health that could be livable. Things were looking promising for about 2 years, while there was evidence warranting optimism. I sit here now facing this haunting music as my baseline genetic inheritance is rearing its ugly face again. I do a wonderful job finding and implementing methods to endure and survive, but I think I'm trying to change the stripes of a zebra.

I should be feeling very suicidal right now, but I've learned how to see that urge as frivolous and a waste to consider reasonable. I'm concerned that I've hit a threshold I know very, very well. All the "pep talk" things said to me in my lifetime are on a playlist of thoughts right now. I can almost hear now people saying, "Oh, I'm so sorry this isn't helping. Well, you are doing a very good job anyhow". I feel to be a cancer patient getting chemo treatments, not getting better nor getting worse. Where is that line showing the threshold for purpose in life?

We always require definitions. Without definitions, there is only gibberish. With my condition, definitions are debatable and may soon become gibberish again. I am haunted by the most dependable things in my life, maybes, and shallow optimism.

I'm so very sorry for all the people who feel similarly plagued.

statuselated
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu May 04, 2023 10:27 pm

Re: Slippery Slope

Postby statuselated » Thu May 04, 2023 10:28 pm

To put it simply, I pray for a speedy recovery of your health. Don't lose hope!

proclaimlecture
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2023 4:04 am
Contact:

Re: Slippery Slope

Postby proclaimlecture » Wed Aug 02, 2023 4:06 am

Simply expressed, I wish you a rapid recovery from your illness. Don't give up!
eggy car

Prycejosh1987
Posts: 424
Joined: Sun May 31, 2020 10:54 am
Location: Birmingham UK

Re: Slippery Slope

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Fri Aug 11, 2023 4:34 pm

Life is a challenge, every opportunity we have to progress and develop is met with a good and a bad outlook. What i do is focus on spiritual growth and be engaged with growing spiritually. Good moments are for us to enjoy and relax and bad moments are times to learn on how to better ourselves and do better and achieve more in the future. Personally and spiritually.

rabic
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2023 10:44 pm

Re: Slippery Slope

Postby rabic » Wed Sep 13, 2023 10:45 pm

In a straightforward manner, I extend my well wishes for your prompt recuperation from your ailment. Persevere and remain determinedgeometry dash subzero

miaoklo
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun Mar 17, 2024 10:52 pm

Re: Slippery Slope

Postby miaoklo » Sun Mar 17, 2024 10:54 pm

I hope that you get better soon from your illness. Keep going and stay committed
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