I really hate my body

[Uncomfortable Chaos]

I've always been a big girl. The last 2 years I've been working on loving myself. My confidence was growing and I was feeling great. I was happy sometimes struggling but happy and I thought my husband was happy then I caught him talking to a few women. We fought and I asked him what I could do and he told me to lose weight. He said my stomach was a turn off now. I was fat when he met me and fat when he married me. He was ALWAYS all about me. Now here we are 13 years and 2 kids later and I'm not attractive him, I am except for my stomach. Now I'm struggling. Since that fight, I've been trying. Riding a bike 10 miles, walking 2 to 3 miles, watching what I'm eating daily. I'm starving all the time. I hate myself. I hate my body. I hate how jealous I've become. I'm just not me and I'm struggling. Struggling so much.

[heavyheart38]

You are not the issue. He is the one with the issue. You have grown beautiful children within your body, and given birth to them. My wife was a size 18 when I met her at (her age) 18. She is now 42, a size 20. She has carried our 2 daughters (now 19 and 14)and she carries her stretch marks and extra curves with pride. My love for her is strong, even with my mental issues instill a fear she isn't happy. I HAVE NEVER PUT HER DOWN DUE TO HER SIZE AND WEIGHT. I have remained faithful, and I will always be faithful. I am in no way religious, far from it.
I truly hope your husband comes to his senses and accepts you for the goddess you are. Best wishes.