Hopeless

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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katattack
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Sep 17, 2019 4:01 pm

Hopeless

Postby katattack » Sat Jan 11, 2020 8:32 pm

I cut my hair two days ago. I disappeared into the bathroom with a pair of my sewing scissors and just cut it off in chunks. I look at myself in the mirror and I'm reminded of the unfortunate fact that I have a body. I was diagnosed with a mental illness this year after struggling with it for a few years before diagnosis, and although I've found support groups with people who are going through the same things, I want to say I feel worse than ever. I am trying to overcome childhood trauma, both violent/psychological and sexual. I'm struggling trying to remember all of the things I've blocked out. I'm not sure if I'm completely comfortable with my therapist, I might want to find someone younger. I feel a little bit judged by her, maybe because she's a little bit older. I don't know what to do. My antidepressants might be working. I just...don't really know where to go from here. I don't know if I can handle school right now. I have two years left. I know what my dream life is. To live in Portland, or somewhere rainy where I can live with someone I love and my cat. We can have a safe, loving home life. I could work in an ethical, local business and see my sister often. I'm just sad with my life the way that it is right now. I think I need to stop school and focus on where the path is taking me forward right now.

kaitkay
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Jan 14, 2018 4:58 am
Location: Wales

Re: Hopeless

Postby kaitkay » Sun Jan 12, 2020 3:21 pm

its hard right now; i understand that. but this is temporary. if you feel youre uncomfortable with your therapist you should speak up about it. ask for what you are looking for. it may sound rude but honestly youll be doing yourself a favour and im sure the therapist will understand. you shouldnt need to feel that way. As for school.. if its stressing you out and you feel you need to work on yourself a bit more, whether that be your mental health or finding your place in life, thats okay! i personally believe i need a break from my college, but due to my own circumstances, i cannot build up the courage to ask. but that doesnt mean you shouldnt. you deserve better, you just need a little more time.


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