I'm nada

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2019 12:16 pm

I'm nada

Postby justnobody » Fri Dec 27, 2019 12:14 pm

Last week, near the end of the session, my therapist urged me to ponder over my goals and wishes. What do I want? What do I hope to achieve in the coming year/3 years/ 5 years?

I thought it over and the answer is... literally nothing. I have no dreams, no hope, nothing to look forward to, nothing to take joy/pride in. No meaning. Anxiety and spite are what keep me going, as much as I hate to admit. It doesn't help that I also have to deal with family issues such as conflicts due to different perspectives on parenting. I'm resentful. It feels like my family don't need me, they just find it convenient that someone is around to take care of chores and stuff. Feels like I don't matter, like I'm not an equal human being and they might as well hire a nanny instead. But enough with the rant. Therapist said to focus on myself and find out what I want.

And I found out that I want a way out of all this. I want out of this meaningless life. Too bad guns are illegal here, I guess, because statistics says that headshot does it best.

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