I feel my life is too perfect to feel this way

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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Violetrosemary
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Dec 10, 2019 7:27 pm

I feel my life is too perfect to feel this way

Postby Violetrosemary » Tue Dec 10, 2019 8:49 pm

I realized I had depression about three months ago, but I think I have had it for longer. Up until I had my second break down I wanted to believe that it was just me going through a bad time. I noticed that I had many of the signs from learning about it in school. ( I then had my third break down from realizing this) Even after hearing about depression in school for years it made no sense that someone with such a great life could have it.

I still haven't told my parents or most of my friends. I am very close to both my parents and my brother and I have lots of friends that I know care about me. I am from a middle-class family. I'm also smart and doing very well in school. My life is amazing, but I still feel so sad all the time. I always get this feeling that my friends and family would not be affected at all if I disappeared. I know that it's not true but I can't help feeling this.

While having a discussion with my parents about depression I found my parents were understanding but thought it only affects people with big personal issues. I couldn't bring myself to tell them after hearing this. I don't want my parents to think that they are at fault for doing something wrong raising me. I would rather go through this without telling them then have them blame themselves.

I decided to tell my friend about it. When I did she looked shocked and couldn't think if anything to say. I decided to change the topic after seeing this reaction. When I tried to talk to her about it again she had the same reaction. (I don't blame her for it she just had no clue what to do and got flustered) After that, I decided to not tell any more of my friends.

I didn't post this to get advice; I live in a place that teaches mental health problems in school so I already know everything. I only posted this to be able to talk about my feelings and to share my situation with others who are going through similar things as I have not seen many people with a relatively normal life talk about this.

Cast
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2019 8:21 pm

Re: I feel my life is too perfect to feel this way

Postby Cast » Fri Dec 13, 2019 8:38 pm

Hi, I’m going through something similar and you’re the first person I’ve felt identified with what I feel. I have a very good life, family, school, etc. but I’ve been hiding the way I’ve been feeling. My life has been in autopilot for about 6 months now, even when I went on trips where I should’ve been extremely happy I would only feel emptiness I don’t know why. I don’t feel confident enough to tell my parents who are always supportive but at the same time they have given me literally everything that I could’ve asked for and I don’t want to make them feel as if they’ve failed or that I am inventing it. I haven’t told anyone because I don’t want my friends nor my family to look me with different eyes. I’m pretty sure I have had depression probably for more time now even if lately it’s been worse. This is the first time I’m saying this and probably I’m just venting out right now, but I also don’t know what to do. I always try to look forward for something ex. My trip on December but it is hard to keep this way. Anyways I just wanted to say that I also feel that way.


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