Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2016 3:50 pm
Location: New York


Postby Ender » Mon Aug 01, 2016 5:12 pm

Lately I've been working more than normal, just because it's easier to be at work, than to be in my relationship. I don't really want to be around my bf, he knows it, as we've had problems for some time now. I've even asked him to leave multiple times, stating that I was no longer happy in this relationship and wish to not be in it any longer. He refuses to leave, and I can not leave as I haven't child care for our sons, and he hasn't a way to provide for them himself.

So I have been working as much as possible. And when home, like now. I isolate myself.

Though to be fair, it's not only my bf I want to isolate myself from. It's pretty much everything and everyone. Excluding a select few close friends at work...which is also an incentive to work as much as possible...

But, for example. I have a birthday party to go to this coming weekend, for my 3 year old niece. I don't want to go, I don't want to be around all those people. All that commotion. I would actually rather be at work. But I also see that as a family obligation and I would feel very badly for canceling. So I am going to go, but all I really want to do, is be alone. Either alone, or with one other significant person. Though I don't know who that person would be. I don't want to talk to anyone, or have to pretend to to be happy, and enjoying myself. Fake smiles, and small talk, forced laughs, and awkward silences. I don't want any of it. I just want to be left alone. Alone, or with one person that understands, one person that can see who I really am, see what I feel and accept it. Validate it. Even share some of it. I don't have a person like that.

I want to be alone, but I don't want to be lonely....I don't know.

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Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 7:38 am

Re: Isolation

Postby MG100 » Tue Aug 02, 2016 7:58 am

I know that feeling trying to hide away from the world, friend, family, people. I do the same alot but not because i have a gf cause i don't. But i also know it doesn't really help to hide. I have been working too alot just to be isolated from my family and then i came home at night and loved it to be alone. But it wasn't satisfying enough in some way. I would recommend spend alot time outside and being with people you have fun with becuase it will make you feel better and enjoy the outside world more. But dont do that too often or you can't get no satisfaction. I have problems with my mother and i preffer to be more with my dad. I am 18 year now for a half year. My parents are divorced and i live at my mother while my brother lives with my father. My mother cant say no to anyone and that takes the weirdest people in to our house. I want my own house/apartment, car etc so i can be alone and live my life for a while working, going to the gym. And then when im not so stressed out i would go visit my family. I could not handle the feeling so tried to find a way to talk on a chat forum like this to blow my steam off. But i want to give you a little advice about your bf. You should talk it out with him. If you really want to leave him you can but you should think it over if your sure. And how long have you been with him ?

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Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2016 11:35 pm

Re: Isolation

Postby Shellyann » Sun Aug 28, 2016 2:54 pm


I agree with should try talking with your bf and express to him why you need to be separate from him. If he is not the stalker type, and can clearly understand that you need space then go to him, and express how you feel.. My ex bf was abusive and hard to talk to especially when he drank alcohol. He would follow me to school and hang around my apartment saying things like "I saw you going to the mailbox"..he was clearly stalking me, and the only way that I got away from him was to move to another state. I left and never looked back..Everyone does not have that option ..but just try talking to him and see if you can make him understand. I had to make a drastic decision because talking didn't help in my case..but I encourage you to try. I wish you the best of luck, and just know that there are many others that feel the same as are not alone..and you have support..


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