How would you describe depression?

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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Roberts
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How would you describe depression?

Postby Roberts » Fri Jan 17, 2014 8:04 pm

In my experience depression is when you're waiting not to do things and happiness is when you can't wait to do things.

I thought of this saying when I realised that when I was depressed, I stopped myself from doing things - I put obstacles in my way.

When you're melancholy it's like when you're in your garage and the engine won't start. When you're content, you're revving the engine raring to go.

fallen
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Postby fallen » Fri Jan 17, 2014 10:24 pm

i would describe depression as a deep dark black hole that i can't get out of, but these days i am still in the deep dark black hole but i have a coffee machine and grinder and cupcakes down here, so it is depressing with a hint of sugar as the silver linning !
sorry you are feeling bad, hope today is better.
take care

Ieris
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Re: How would you describe depression?

Postby Ieris » Fri Jan 17, 2014 10:38 pm

Roberts wrote:I thought of this saying when I realised that when I was depressed, I stopped myself from doing things - I put obstacles in my way.


I do agree with how people put those obstacles up themselves.

If you really want to do something you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse.

Frame
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Postby Frame » Sat Jan 18, 2014 6:49 am

I really don't think depression, or life for that matter, is that simple Ieris.

It's not about finding ways or excuses, either/or choices.

Life is on a thread of time. Along the way, many of the obstacles and choices are internal but many are also external, not of our making. How we respond to those obstacles are, of course, our own choices. But we make those choices based on our experience, what we have been taught, the opportunities and obstacles (whether internal or external) that we have encountered thus far.

We are all responsible for our own lives, most of it. But it's not always crystal clear why things are the way they are. Sometimes we feel nothing is within our control (and so was someone else's choice, perhaps Gods). Other times we feel the weight of the world, like somehow everything is our fault (like we could have changed the world but didn't).

These aren't excuses. They are attitudes; some we have learned, some we have discerned, some we have been handed by our endocrine system or a psychiatrist. They are very real and they are what we use to make choices or not. And for some of us, for long periods of time, the choices are difficult indeed. And there are only so many good ones we can make each day.

Frame
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Postby Frame » Sat Jan 18, 2014 8:33 am

That being said; the state of "really wanting", something has a profound effect on our choices. In my experience, there were times in my life where the 'wants' were fewer, the path clearer, motivation easier, choices simpler. There was a time where things like; wanting to maintain my dignity wasn't too important. [There isn't as much dignity in being a kid any way]. Wanting to stay healthy wasn't a concern. Making sure I had a roof over my head, wanting my life to have meant something, heck!, wanting just to stay warm; These weren't part of my daily bag of wants.

Wanting more compassion in the world, and less noise, fewer cars, less greed. I have wanted for quite some times know to get up each day, and after hard day of effort and thought toward making the world a better place, have the security of a stable (even if one day older) life.

These are things I really want; many wants. A complex way to find. The choices, the ways, are not always clear to me.

Ieris
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Postby Ieris » Sat Jan 18, 2014 9:53 am

I used to think life was complicated, i would spend more energy avoiding things than actually dealing with them. I made the problems much bigger than they really are and i wouldn't let go of the things i cant control. When I changed, life became much simpler, lots of the obstacles (internal and external) disappeared. Problems that i never thought i'd overcome no longer matter, no longer exist. I stopped making excuses to avoid my problems, and when I dealt with them straight on they weren't as scary or difficult as I thought they would be.

If I didn't change, I'd still be on the other side thinking how i want my life to be instead of making it a reality. Now looking back, I don't believe I wasted all that time suffering when the door was always unlocked. All I had to do was go open the door and walk through it. I stopped expecting people to change, my situation and surroundings to change but instead, I changed. I no longer feel blue, I do whatever I want and the only thing that stopped me in the first place was me.

~

The difference between then and now is that back then I spent too much time thinking, too much talking and not enough listening and doing. Beating around the bush, going around in circles, not taking responsibility for anything, in denial... Whatever you want to call it.

And now, i ask what do i feel like doing today? if a problem comes up, spend 10% on the problem and 90% on finding a solution.

So now my outlook on life, on problems, is that simple.

xken728
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Postby xken728 » Sat Jan 18, 2014 12:46 pm

Deppression is many things to many differant people .
we are no two the same ,we know in our minds our bad thoughts and we know our limits ,deppression in my life ,knows what i think ,it knows what i do before ive even done it ,My mind has many corridors with many doors ,some hold the many lovely memories of my family ,my two girls growing up and doing well in there lives .
My wonderful wife and all she has done for us and showed much support when she knows the devil is upon me .
And then theres the door were i must never go ,To open this door would mean there would be no return ,many have taken this path and have left much sadness and unknowing behind them ,
Im safe from this forboding place ,i gave my soul to my wife many years ago ,and i know it is safe with her forever .
So as for explaining about our depression we all have our own storys to tell ,When i close my eyes to sleep at night i see unspeakable things and here i will stop ,as they are not for shareing .No matter how bad you feel ,just keep going you may have highs and feel better now and then ,
Just have hope and if you see someone down ,give them a hand up ,
It may make them feel better and yourself to Good luck xn728

Frame
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Postby Frame » Sat Jan 18, 2014 6:07 pm

Sounds like both Ieris and xken728 are both talking about less thinking. For xken it's about stopping the triggering memories before they start. And for Ieris, it's about more listening and doing.

I was wondering Ieris; what are your techniques? How do you accomplish more listening and less thinking?

4EverMe
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Postby 4EverMe » Sun Jan 19, 2014 11:19 am

To me, depression is both the same and different for each individual. When I say "the same," I'm referring to many of the symptoms of depression. When I mentioned "and different?" There are, of course, varying reasons that cause depression for each individual...

Ruling out chemical imbalance, I'll just provide an obvious list of the most common causes:

1. Unforgivness. By not forgiving others of their transgressions, pain and anger fester within our minds, hearts and spirits. (This includes any unwillingness to forgive ourselves). Holding fast to resentment has been proven by medical science as a cause for cancer. Common sense tells me that if unforgivness can cause cancer, then it can certainly result in depression.

2. Rejection. All of us have a number of things in common. Just one of them, is a deep seated need to be accepted. When we're faced with rejection, many of us take this as an assault against our persona- the very essence of who we are. It can cause us to develop a negative self image. We imagine a whole host of things that must be wrong with us. Low self esteem, and a general sense of feeling unloved can result in self hatred. This can lead a person to feel undeserving of another's love and affection, thus we push people away. We're afraid of the hurt that another rejection could cause. Abandonment triggers the same types of feelings as those written above, but it can snowball into something much more painful. It may fall into the category of rejection, but abandonment is usually felt when it is someone we know and/or love who turns away from us- thus, the more deeply we hurt.

3. Guilt. Self unforgivness comes to mind. But, aside from that, is there something we're currently doing that we feel 'to blame' for? Maybe it's something we're involved in. We know deep down that it's wrong, but have a hard time putting a stop to it. This can range from alcohol/drug (or other addictions) to cheating on a spouse. The list goes on...
But, self-blame can surely be cause for depression, because we're not at peace with ourselves when guilt eats away at our very core.

4. Isolation. Isolation is a tough one because anxiety/depression could be the root cause. However, when we constantly isolate ourselves, due a need to be alone, it leads to something else that makes our depression periodically worse. It's called:

5. Loneliness. Even when it's our preference and intent to be alone, loneliness WILL come around to bite us in the a**! It's a truth I am all too familiar with. When we're so alone, and there's rarely someone to turn to when we do reach out, we're not enjoying our isolation in those times. We become painfully aware of the numerous times we turned down the company of a friend/acquaintance for the sake of being 'alone.' Now, when we call on them, we can't get ahold of them. Perhaps, they're in the company of a more sociable friend, or they grew weary of the times we just "needed a little time alone." It hurts, the not knowing.

Grief: Grief has many faces, for, the causes can be many. However, we know it when we're in such a painful place. It feels as though it's never going to end, and that misery could never be worse than it is now. It is better that people allow others the benefits of grieving in their own personal way. Time may heal all wounds for some, but for others, it only minimizes the pain. No one needs to hear the words, "Get over it already." This can not only sound harsh and uncaring, but like a slap in the face to the one who's already suffering! The best we can do is to be there, and to listen when we're needed. Grief occurs in stages, but is a bit different for everybody. No two people are exactly alike.

7. Abuse: Abuse and neglect, in their numerous forms are also major causes for lasting depression. It may be the last on this list, but, by no means is it least! The affects it has on a person (or animal) range from mental, emotional, to physical and spiritual.
I'm sure that most of us have heard of them, and some of us have experienced the results personally.
(As a survivor of mental, emotional, physical and sexual abuse, I'm here for anyone who needs to talk)!

Most reasons for depression and anxiety can find their place under the categories I've mentioned. Maybe someone is experiencing something difficult that has it's root cause in something I've written.

How we've been raised, all we've been taught about life and ourselves, (and others), everything we've experienced, spiritual beliefs...all play a role in how each of us respond to depression.

I do agree with Frame's assessment, in that we're all different and respond to depression in our own ways.
Every individual is complex, and what works for one doesn't necessarily benefit another.

Frame
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Root Causes

Postby Frame » Sun Jan 19, 2014 11:46 am

This is an important list to me $Everme; Thank you

I'd like to make one comment. We may have experienced many of these causes in the past, (perhaps during childhood), developed, and overcome the negative effects. When our present becomes full of stress for different reasons, it's not unusual to tend toward #4 (isolation). Isolation is often attractive to me.

And if we do, then even if the original causes are no longer present, the negative past can come rushing back. That's why I feel it's extra important to develop routines that shunt us away from #4 to the best of our ability. Setting up our lives so that isolation is not an option, I think is a good mental health practice.

[Disclaimer: As often is the case; do as I say not as I do.]

4EverMe
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Postby 4EverMe » Sun Jan 19, 2014 3:17 pm

You're welcome, Frame. :-) Glad it was helpful.
What you said is true. Although we may have overcome issues from our past, and even healed from them completely, some current stressor can act as a trigger; the past can return to haunt us. Forgotten chapters in this book called "life" reappear as suddenly as ghosts. They're not always nice to be faced with, especially when they only exacerbate what we're dealing with in the moment! I cannot count how many times this has happened to me...

Kind of makes me wonder if I'd ever truly healed from those situations or if maybe I'd just buried and forgotten them. Out of sight. Out of mind, until something new unearths them.

dougsan
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MINE IS MINE AND YOURS IS YOURS

Postby dougsan » Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:13 am

I find that my depression is based in my life experiences. The shrink asks the same set of "are you depressed" questions each visit and my responses tend to reflect my mental state at the moment. The questions in no way begin to explain why I am down (or up) on myself, why I can't touch or be touched, why I think such negative thoughts, etc. The shrink sessions are positive because without them I would not have access to depression drugs and even more importantly, the sessions offer me a place where I can openly talk about (discuss?) what is going on in my mind. Ever discuss the voices with a person who doesn't hear voices? NEVER AGAIN.

Aina
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Postby Aina » Thu May 29, 2014 3:48 am

Talking with a doctor about what’s bothering you is the most direct route to determining what’s wrong and taking action to remedy the problem. But for many people, the prospect of discussing a mental health problem with a doctor is almost as scary as the problem itself. .

dougsan
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Postby dougsan » Fri May 30, 2014 5:25 pm

I agree talking about the root causes of mental challenges can be helpful and I would never suggest a person not follow this path. I tried many times over the years to "dig" into the "root causes" and the efforts have helped me to better understand my causes and effects. I know with certainty why my mind and I are not friends and I know how this impacts me. Unfortunately, all the sessions never "taught" me how to "forgive and forget" or how to live comfortably with my experiences.

Mikka

Postby Mikka » Wed Jul 30, 2014 8:36 am

I sometimes see depression described as a grey fog or grey blanket over everything..


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