loneliness is killing me
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loneliness is killing me
Long story short is my wife has left me after being together for 12 years... I love her and want her back but to many things preventing it from happening.... to make it worse we now are 700 miles apart and she has one of my children and I have the oldest... her new b.f. texts me saying he is her new dad.... plus I never get to talk to my youngest.... im hurt enough. With loosing my wife and not being able to speak to my daughter but to lay in bed Alone every. It'd is killing me even more..... I feel im loosing my strength to be a strong parent figure for my daughter that I do have.....
Hello
I am sorry to know you are suffering. I can relate as I have lost my family also. Finding support will help. Coming to a group like this is a good step. I am new here but find comfort here. Is there someone there you can talk with? A good friend, minister or counselor? I will be thinking of you and hoping you feel some peace.
Sadly to say no...... the only person I have to confide in is my 10 year old daughter. My mother lives on my property in her trailer but she only cares to talk about her problems..my dad isn't one to listen either.... I think that's why I have sought out a life coach a quality of life coach and a councelor and at nite when its the worst I use my phones internet which is how I ended up here..... I just don't think the counceling is enough for me.... I NEED COMPANIONSHIP.....someone to hold... someone to be there beside me through lifes hurdles.... someone who I can confide in and give me the love I need ....but at the same time my depression and anxiety is stoping me from being able to get what I need to feel happy and loved again.... I feel like its a loose loose situation.:'(
Hi daddymav. No matter what the boyfriend says you will always be your childs dad. Noone can take your place. There's a song called "I don't call him daddy" It's a good song, a true song.
Please be careful, I know you want and need all those things that you mentioned, its what most people want. You were with her for a long time. So you were used to that. A lot of relationships built on a rebound or just for comfort don't turn out like they should.
You can talk to us here, talk to us in the room. Sometimes a person doesn't know how strong they are until they need to be strong. You made a good choice and a good step by coming here. Confide in us, talk to us. Your 10 year old daughter probably knows more of whats going on then you might think. Encourage her to talk, and by letting her talk, letting her know you wont be replacing her mom. It will bring you closer.
Maybe try some financial aid groups through you local human service office and they can get it where you can talk to your other child. Don't give up.
Holly
Please be careful, I know you want and need all those things that you mentioned, its what most people want. You were with her for a long time. So you were used to that. A lot of relationships built on a rebound or just for comfort don't turn out like they should.
You can talk to us here, talk to us in the room. Sometimes a person doesn't know how strong they are until they need to be strong. You made a good choice and a good step by coming here. Confide in us, talk to us. Your 10 year old daughter probably knows more of whats going on then you might think. Encourage her to talk, and by letting her talk, letting her know you wont be replacing her mom. It will bring you closer.
Maybe try some financial aid groups through you local human service office and they can get it where you can talk to your other child. Don't give up.
Holly
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crystalgaze
- Posts: 2511
- Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:11 pm
- Location: USA
From what was in your 1st post....
Um.... I'm going to say something that I have seen in my experience living where I live. Take it for what you think it is worth.
In my area, one thing many people have to be wary of is leaving their girl children (their daughters) in a situation like the one you described. (e.g. Mom having a boyfriend or vice versa.) There have been too many instances where I live of the boyfriend molesting or attempting to molest the daughter.
A man was taken into custody here just the other day for it.
I do not know anything about your ex-wife's boyfriend, but if you can get your daughter out of there, please do so. Where I live might not be the yardstick to use, too.... Perhaps, crime here is more than whatever is the usual.
I don't know.... but it strikes me as odd that another man will be like, "I'm her new Dad...." Hhmm??
This is just my concern, not a post to cause panic. Anything can happen. I've heard or read of lots of different cases. You sound like a nice person & that you do your best to be a great Dad, so I am just putting something out there that you might not have thought about as yet.
Just make sure to tell your daughter that she can tell you about anything. Keeping those lines of communication open with her is going to be crucial. Can you get a cell phone that she can use to call you? You make sure to tell her to not allow anyone to take it away from her & of course not to use it during school hours.... Something like that....
These are just some thoughts....
Um.... I'm going to say something that I have seen in my experience living where I live. Take it for what you think it is worth.
In my area, one thing many people have to be wary of is leaving their girl children (their daughters) in a situation like the one you described. (e.g. Mom having a boyfriend or vice versa.) There have been too many instances where I live of the boyfriend molesting or attempting to molest the daughter.
A man was taken into custody here just the other day for it.
I do not know anything about your ex-wife's boyfriend, but if you can get your daughter out of there, please do so. Where I live might not be the yardstick to use, too.... Perhaps, crime here is more than whatever is the usual.
I don't know.... but it strikes me as odd that another man will be like, "I'm her new Dad...." Hhmm??
This is just my concern, not a post to cause panic. Anything can happen. I've heard or read of lots of different cases. You sound like a nice person & that you do your best to be a great Dad, so I am just putting something out there that you might not have thought about as yet.
Just make sure to tell your daughter that she can tell you about anything. Keeping those lines of communication open with her is going to be crucial. Can you get a cell phone that she can use to call you? You make sure to tell her to not allow anyone to take it away from her & of course not to use it during school hours.... Something like that....
These are just some thoughts....
Loneliness is very much hard for a person with many problems to think.
It's really hard to adjust with your situation right now because you are use to spend quality time together and suddenly you go separately.
Try to talk with your former wife and ask for a best time that you can visited your daughter.
It's really hard to adjust with your situation right now because you are use to spend quality time together and suddenly you go separately.
Try to talk with your former wife and ask for a best time that you can visited your daughter.
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St8arrow
From Daddymav:
. her new b.f. texts me saying he is her new dad.
___________________________________
Text this new boyfriend as follows:
I don't like your style. Just make sure that you are a good surrogate father to my daughter and nothing else. I'm not interested in getting any more text messages from you. Oh and one more thing, does my wife know that you are texting me because I intend to let her know the first chance I get.
. her new b.f. texts me saying he is her new dad.
___________________________________
Text this new boyfriend as follows:
I don't like your style. Just make sure that you are a good surrogate father to my daughter and nothing else. I'm not interested in getting any more text messages from you. Oh and one more thing, does my wife know that you are texting me because I intend to let her know the first chance I get.
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shannonhardy
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2012 6:11 pm
- Location: oakville
hang in there daddymav
i have swear words for the guy who texted you if it was me id have gone out of my way to smash him. sorry to promote violence but he deserves it.
a lonely girl would understand and appreciate you more than anyone. but i can tell by how you carry yourself that you have a big heart, so if you can rack up the motivation to put yourself out there, you shouldnt have much trouble with the ladies.
im glad youre here im here to listen we all are. my father went through something like this, i chose to live with the old man and were like best friends, i saved his life. so im glad youve got your one daughter there. im glad you cherish eachothers presence
just hang in there buddy every dog has his day, stir the pot and make things happen, make things change. youll find what youre looking for.
i have swear words for the guy who texted you if it was me id have gone out of my way to smash him. sorry to promote violence but he deserves it.
a lonely girl would understand and appreciate you more than anyone. but i can tell by how you carry yourself that you have a big heart, so if you can rack up the motivation to put yourself out there, you shouldnt have much trouble with the ladies.
im glad youre here im here to listen we all are. my father went through something like this, i chose to live with the old man and were like best friends, i saved his life. so im glad youve got your one daughter there. im glad you cherish eachothers presence
just hang in there buddy every dog has his day, stir the pot and make things happen, make things change. youll find what youre looking for.
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