"I lost control of my life at a young age."

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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unknown.pao
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon May 29, 2023 9:45 pm

"I lost control of my life at a young age."

Postby unknown.pao » Mon May 29, 2023 9:56 pm

I can't stop lying to myself. Even though I know something is wrong, my mind creates reasons to feel worse. And this only worsens the situation, making me open my eyes to realize that I have many other things to suffer for. Yes, maybe I have stable things in my life, but that doesn't mean everything is okay. I feel broken inside, with a pain that never goes away. I wish to die without pain, I no longer want to feel fear or pain. I want everything to just end.

Every day I feel more trapped in this maze of pain and suffering. My dark thoughts relentlessly pursue me, and the only way to silence them is by hurting myself. I cut my wrists to relieve my emotional pain, but sometimes I feel like I should do something more drastic. Why not just end it all once and for all? Why keep fighting when everything seems to be against me?

My life has become dark, and I don't remember when it started. Dealing with these thoughts is hard, and I'm self-destructing for no apparent reason. I wonder if I hate myself. Why do I self-harm? It doesn't do anything for me anymore, but it's become a hard habit to break. I regret accepting psychological help because it only made me realize that I was worse than I imagined. I don't know if I'm pretending to be okay or not, or if my reasons for feeling bad are valid. I worry about being just a ridiculous person seeking attention.

Everything is out of control, and I don't know how to change it. I'm so worried about the future that I don't even remember the past. Life is about suffering, but why do I have to suffer so much? I feel incapable of doing anything, and I always have reasons for doing nothing. How can I improve if I don't even know where to start? I have no ambition, no goals, no dreams. I only have this constant worry that prevents me from moving forward.

I want to be different, not just another lost person in the world. But sometimes I feel like I'll never be able to change my life for the better. Suicidal thoughts torment me day and night, and it's becoming harder and harder to resist the temptation to end it all. I feel like no one understands me, no one loves me, and that I'm doomed to suffer forever. My wrist cuts are just a small sample of the pain I carry inside, a pain that never goes away and slowly consumes me. How long can I keep going like this?

Thunder
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed May 24, 2023 7:17 pm

Re: "I lost control of my life at a young age."

Postby Thunder » Tue May 30, 2023 10:55 am

I get what ur going thru. I've have some of the same issues. I keep looking for my old self that left years ago. Just don't understand a lot of things right now. I wish I had words to make it all right for ya.

Prycejosh1987
Posts: 424
Joined: Sun May 31, 2020 10:54 am
Location: Birmingham UK

Re: "I lost control of my life at a young age."

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Fri Aug 11, 2023 4:41 pm

Its not how we start a race that counts but how we finish that race. Mo farah was the best runner in the Olympics. He always started off at the back most of the race but then ran ahead of the rest. A spiritual outlook is designed to learn from mistakes and grow and develop from deep within ourselves and desire change and connection to God.

Mnaiosa
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Sep 12, 2023 10:34 pm

Re: "I lost control of my life at a young age."

Postby Mnaiosa » Tue Sep 12, 2023 10:36 pm

A spiritual worldview encourages us to go inward, grow from our experiences, and ultimately become closer to God and transform ourselves.
run 3

fantasmagirl
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Nov 26, 2023 12:45 am

Re: "I lost control of my life at a young age."

Postby fantasmagirl » Thu Nov 30, 2023 2:24 am

this is how I feel... like I am lying to myself, because the truth is so dark. I can't accept the fact that i will probably never get "better". It's hope, it's a hard thing to let go of. I wish I knew what it was like to be fearless. Maybe I wouldn't be here anymore. Maybe I could actually do something with my life before I leave.


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