This kind of post needs a little introduction, to help me explain the exact state I'm in. First of all, I must say that english is not my primary language - so I'm sorry if I sound unclear
The expirience that I just lived through has something to do with other stuff that happend a while ago. Here it is... My job requires having conversations over the phone once a week with managers from out of country. These conversations are usually pleasent, but it happened a few times that they were... well, at least - unpleasent. My job comes with a lot of stress, and I should be used to it by now - but somehow I'm not. I have a "local" manager as well, and he seems trying his best to keep all the employees under pressure - probably out of believing that we work better that way... And boy, does he go furious when he gets a non-excellent impression from one of the "out of country" managers... His aptitude made me cry (even if I'm not very young and new in this buiseness) on several ocasions. So, these phone calls are somewhat important, and must be included in our daily/weekly reports - and for that reason are driving me crazy.
For all the reasons I've written above, it seemed almost natural for me that I imagine hearing my phone ringing even if it isn't during the whole day when I'm expecting it to ring. At first, I didn't even know that these sounds are only a part of my imagination. When I first started to hear my phone ringing when it isn't, my co-workers noticed it and mada a joke out of it. Then I realized that I shouldn't try picking the phone up if I'm not certain that it's ringing... After some time, I thought of a way to visualize my calls, so I could be certain. I figured that I can't have both sound and visual hallucinations at the same time. And I was right. The false sounds just vanished, and I left them almost forgotten.
The thing that made my day bad is another sound hallucination I had just a little while ago. Sitting in the study room, I was going through some e-mails and in one moment I heard the TV from the living room. Being sure that everyone is sleeping (except for me and my dog) this was a strange thing. I took a glance at my dog, which didn't move at all (and she would, because this sound was so frustrating) and decided to go to the living room to check this out. When I saw the TV off, I had shivers all over my body. Now I have a feeling that I'm going nuts
So... thank you for reading, whoever you are... I just needed to share this with someone, and it had to be someone I don't know because I'm afraid of the reaction my family and/or friends might have...
The thing is, I'm working in an area that is young in my country and there is only one company where it exists. This is why it's not easy for me to switch to another job, having experience and skills that can make a decent sum of money only for this one. I'm the main source of income for my family, so changing jobs is not affecting only me; My country is on some kind of a "black list" and it would be very difficult for me to move to another country and get a working permit. So, the main stress is not related exactly to the type of my job, but to the lack of options to change it.