Came very close to ECT again

[Monty]

Hi,

I have missed all of the members of the forum. It seems like I have been away for a long time.

It wasn't by choice.

I am just coming out of the other end of a very deep depression. It seems to have lasted forever, but I suppose it has only been a few months.

I pretty well dropped contact with all the people that were important to me. It was a very scary time. I was afraid of talking to even my closest of friends.

Haven't had to wait the standard 3 or 4 months in between psychiatriatic visits. I will be going again in about a month. It was a depressive episode that was equal to some of my worst over the past 20+ years.

My pdoc and I were talking over the possibility of doing another round of ECT since the meds weren't doing their job.

Like I said earlier, it does seem like things are going better. The worst thing about the past few months is that I seem to have lost any chance to being an important person in my grand daughters life. My son's partner is not well herself.

Unfortunately it got to the point that I had to take a stand with her. Since she is the one that controls the contact that I have with my grand daughter, she is the one that is calling all of the shots. I am pretty sure that relationship was one of the reasons that the depression was so deep this time.

It seems to be getting better. In addition to limiting contact with people in my life at home. I have also been avoiding the computer. I think that I have dropped a note or two here over the past months, not much though.

I am hoping that I will be able to get back to being an active member of the forum again. At least I will try to look each day at the posts.

I especially miss Warmie's Corner. I found that when I would go on, that would be the place that I would go to first.

Take care everyone and hi to all of those members that are new.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((((((((((((((((( Monty ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Hi, Hi, Hi!!!! WB..... you have been missed!!

Oh it has been too long, just really good to see you about!

Glad you aren't having to wait so long between the doctor visits.

(((((((((((( Monty ))))))))))))))))))) I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers with your grand daughter. I agree, not getting to be in that child's life as you want had to bring the depression on more strong. I am so sorry this is happening to you.

I feel honored that you do go to the Corner. I truly hope it puts a smile on your face and lightens the heart some. Life is serious enough, we do need to smile and yes even LOL at times.

((((((((((((((((( Monty )))))))))))))))))))))) please take care of yourself, stay in touch and know you were missed!!!!!

Love to you

Warmie

[crystalgaze]

Hey Monty! Glad you are feeling a little better.... That's really great to hear!

[Mich]

Monty - I am so sorry you have been suffering so badly for the past few months. You have been missed here and it is so good to see a post from you again. I am glad you will be getting to the doctor; that's really important. Take good care....Mich

[Monty]

Thanks to everyone that replied to my posting.

It is a good sign that I was able to go on the computer two days in a row.
I think that some of the regulars know that I am the caretaker for my elderly mother.

I have managed to take give myself a little break. Every Wednesday she goes to a nearby nursing home for the day. She gets there about 9:30 and I pick her up at 3:30.

I was somewhat skeptical at first whether she would like it or not. It turns out that it is one of the highlights of her week. It is very tiring for mom to be gone out of the house for the whole day. They have a sing-song, church and I think that this afternoon they are doing some kind of craft. It is good for her to see someone other than me.

If it wasn't so tiring I would take her two times a week. Maybe later on when she gets a little more used to being away for the whole day.

That means that the Wednesdays are for me.

The problem with my daughter in law rises from an email that she sent me. I was the one that told her that she was too toxic for me and that I didn't want to see her anymore. It was a truly cruel letter that she sent. The part that bothered me the most is that she said that she was going to take my grand daughter away. That she was going to leave my son (which upon thinking about it isn't too bad an idea, at least she would be out of that little hell that she is in (grand daughter).

In the next paragraph she said that he should be with his "new family", not mine. I am not quite sure what his new family is. My grand daughter is over 3, and they have been together for more than 9 years.

I have never been a proponent of smother love. I let my kids go when they left home and very rarely make contact with them. They get a hold of me.

The crowing touch was when she said that she was going to make him choose between me and her. Adding on that she would make him feel guilty.

Better stop now because I am getting too angry.
I will not forgive her.

I am big hockey fan. My team is going into game 7 with the Pittsburg Penguins. Realize that none of you are hockey fans but I will add this on anyway. Go Habs Go.

Thanks for reading and letting me get some of this stuff out.

[Mich]

Go HABS Go!!! I am a huge hockey fan and was so excited to see them take out the Penguins. They are going all the way baby!

I am glad you will get Wednesdays to yourself for a break/some relaxation. I am sure it is extremely stressful to care for an ailing parent and I respect you a lot for doing so.

I hope today goes well for you.

[xn728]

Hey monty ,,havent heard from you in a while ,,just want to give you a hug ((((((((((monty take care ))))))))),,,lots of love ken and fran ,,,xxxx
be safe and take care ,,,,,,keep in touch !!