Quiet Desperation

[Mich]

It's the day after my therapy and I am feeling the familiar excruciating pain. I am desperate for relief and don't know what to do with myself to distract me from this feeling. It is a feeling of despair, complete and utter hopelessness and darkness. My chest is aching and my limbs are heavy. Just moving today is terribly hard. I really want to die when I feel like this. It's just impossible to exist in this much pain. I know it will let up somewhat eventually but it never disappears. Is this how I have to live the rest of my days?

[xn728]

You cannot die ,,i will stand between you and death ,,so it will not come ,i wish i had time to say more ,,but you will feel WELL, one day ,,it will come from nowere like it did for me ,,,I PROMISE ,SO BE PATIENT ,
AND PLEASE ,BE SAFE ,,,,,LOTS OF LOVE KEN,,,,XXXXX HUGS (((((MICH)))))

[lisalou]

Therapy can bring up some really horrible feelings can't it? I wish I could be with you to comfort you mich. I'd bring you flowers and tea and give you some company without there being any pressure to talk. that's what sisters are for! (p.s I would of course,also bring bananas!)

[xn728]

Cmon (((((mich)))),,you were here lots last week ,and now your silence worrys me ,,maybe your just tired and having a break from the forum ,,so many times you wrote nice things to me and it kept me going ,
i hope your safe my dear freind ,,im sure we,ll talk again soon ,,be safe
ive missed you ,,hugs (((((mich))))),lots of love ken xxx

[shatteredhopes]

((((((((Mich))))))))) I hope you get the "Courage to Heal" book/workbook. I do have to hope that as excrutiating as the therapy is, its like cleaning out a wound before it is stitched, painful but necessary for healing...

Painful as it is, hold to what little good you can...enjoy your kids and spend some time with them maybe? Take a long hot shower? I know its hard for you to do nice things for yourself, but oh how I wish you could treat yourself or spoil yourself a little as you go through this agonizing pain.

Anyway, ((((((((mich)))))))) big hugs. Hope you start to feel a little relief soon.