So difficult....

[momcat]

Why is it so difficult for others to understand the mechanics of depression, even when you try to explain - a, what causes it and b, how it makes you feel? Just tried to have a sensible conversation with my other half, and he now thinks he just has to make me feel happy more often - like how can take this rock from my chest and make it all better!! I wish I could verbalise to the extent of others on here, but at the moment just want to curl up in "my corner" and let let the world go on spinning without me....
Sorry......... xx

[mamasam]

(((((((((((U))))))))))))) no one can really understand it unless they themselves have gone thru it. Atleast he is being nice to you.... it could be worse... if you are seeing a counselor...try letting him talk to your husband so he may understand it better. Curling up doesn't make it any better...i wanna do that too, but i find myself falling deeper into that black hole of negative emotions. I go thru the day like a zombie feeling nothing but pain and sorrow...hoping it will end soon, it never does, but i am hopeful ..maybe one day it will. Are you taking any med.'s (not trying to be nosey) those can help a great deal if taken properly. Good luck.

[momcat]

Thnk you for your kind words. Yes Im medicated at the moment - Sertraline for the depression and Zopiclone for the insomnia and anxiety. Fluoxetine has always been my remedy before, so waiting to see what sertraline can do....
Its true, that no-one can truly understand what we feel as our depresed selves, and I would never wish this feeling on anyone. But to let them walk half a mile in my shoes for one day? Sorry, thats a really selfish attitude. However, I feel safe in this anonymous environment, and hope you dont judge me too harshly....

[mamasam]

haha not me, judgement is not my thing sweety, There is no saint in this room with me i assure you. I do believe in the saying "walk a mile in my shoes" i live by it, thats mostly how i become a doormat...still it cannot break me forever. I am mostly happy-go-lucky and kinda quirky, until i get down...then oh lordy, i am certifiable ...i hope it doesn't last long this time... have you tried a hobby to help with the pain? I paint , write poetry, sing, draw, make all kinds of crafts, gardening... at the moment though...i'm preachin, but i am not doin I don't have the heart to write poetry at the moment, everything i write is morbid, painting is the same...it's pointless, but i did find peace in sketching the other night. good luck...no one here judges one another, and welcome to the forum...

[xn728]

(((((momcat))))) i think you verbalise ,well the way you feel ,,sometimes to try and explain to much is a burden in itself ,,sometimes i have to go away from the forum ,because to see the pain of my freinds written in these page becomes to much ,,then when i have been silent for a few days ,i return ready to face things again ,,but this is good because to feel like this tells me that im still me inside and i care ,so the pain is good for me ,im sure if i were to wake and not feel the pain ,,the visitor and its dark cohorts would have comsumbed me ,(the visitor is what i call my depression )but to curl up and become seperated from life ,is not good
for you ,,as hard as it is ,you must try to do something even a small task ,break free from that invisible coil the dark serpent holds you in ,,
to do just one small thing ,something that you have decided to do would
allow you to turn your back on that very thing that wishes to destroy you ,
complete your chosen task ,,and the darkness would be wounded ,you will have scored a victory ,,and depression will know you have fight within your soul ,,now close your eyes ,and turn around ,now see us your freinds here stood at your side ,how can you not be strong ,,now walk on (((((momcat))))) and we will walk with you a while ,hugs (((((momcat)))))
love ken ,,,,,xn728 x

[Mich]

Welcome to the forum momcat! It is very hard for others to understand the depth of the pain. When I first became depressed, I gave my husband a book to read that was written by someone with severe depression. I highlighted key phrases in it that described how I felt. He claims that it helped him somewhat but unless you have been there I don't think you can truly "get it".
I hope you decide to keep posting. There are wonderful people here who are kind and supportive.