Seriously Thinking Of Moving To Morroco! Triggering?

[TackingIntoTheWind]

Okay, I'm probably not going to move to Morroco. But, I am now Officially Fed-Up with Winter, snow, ice, *@!?etc!!!!!!!!!!
I'm told that I slipped on an icy pavement ( Sidewalk, for our US cousins! ) on the 7th of January, and I apparently injured my head. Not that I remember a thing about it! I was taken to the Accident & Emergency facility ( ER for our US cousins! ) at the local hospital by ambulance, and don't remember everything that happened after that between Thursday night and Friday morning. There are three blank gaps in my memory. Although, there was definitely considerable projectile vomiting involved. ( Sorry , for the imagery! )
I spent four days in hospital with an occipital fracture of the skull, and bruising of the forehead and lower back. ( How it's possible to injure the back of your head, front of your head and the base of your spine I genuinely have no idea. What did I do? Bounce, Half somersault with a back flip?! )
After four days I was judged well enough to be released from hospital, and according to my Doctor I now just need to recover from a common or garden concussion. ( Sigh! )
I'm feeling low though. Being off-work, again, ill, at home by myself, has led to my depression and anxiety reasserting themselves. And the idea of recovering from concussion, depression, anxiety and getting myself settled back in work, again, seems like a tall mountain to climb.
I'm feeling alone too. So, I thought I would post on this site, hopefully get a bit of perspective, feel a bit more as if I have a future. As, if this is just a lousy time to go throufgh and I will get out the other side.
Sorry to bring you down all, just needed to talk to someone, let off some steam.
Be well all!!!!
( It may be a while before I post again, my bed and painkillers are beckoning! SDo take care of yourselves! )

[shatteredhopes]

((((((((((((((((tacking in the wind))))))))))))))) been so concerned that hadn't heard from you in awhile, now i know why...so sorry friend. I know for me I always feel so alone when sick, because no one to fix me soup or pick up my meds from the pharmacy and all those other little things we could so use help with...do you have a co-worker who can look in on you or can the government assign a care taker to look in on you while you recooperate?

For me, physical pain and/or sickness and depression go hand in hand and cycle and feed off each other...so I can understand why your depression and anxiety is in full force...is there anything you can do for yourself while cooped up? like a mini-vacation...watch Dr. Who tapes/dvds, eat some junk food, listen to music, stay up late...anything you enjoy to treat yourself while you are temporarily laid up at home? Spoil yourself a little somehow...you are hurting and deserve it!

So sorry to hear about the horrible accident...I care and was worried when I hadn't seen you post in a while, so while I'm glad you're still with us and okay, I am very sorry to hear what you are enduring. Big hugs (((((((((((((((((((((tacking in the wind))))))))))))))))))) and my thoughts are with you for healing and wishing you a little peace, light, and hope in your day....

[lisalou]

TackingIntoTheWind! It's so good to hear from you! I too was concerned when it went all quiet on the Welsh front. It sounds like you've been through an awful ordeal and I think you have every right to be feeling crap. I wholeheartedly support shatteredhopes's idea of you having a mini-holiday, definitely get out the dr who / buffy / documentaries on leeks and coal, and indulge in some serious comfort food. are you able to read or are you getting headaches and confusion with your concussion? I know it's easy to see things at their worst when you're ill but hopefully this will only be a temporary setback. and i'm sure your employers will be supportive and maybe let you return just part time for the first week or two. do you know anyone who can pop round to bring you grapes and sympathy? don't be afraid to reach out,i'm sure your friends would be very caring. I'd pop round myself if I wasn't so ashamed of my attempts at cheese on toast and afraid of being chased away at the Welsh border by antagonised English-hating dragons!

Rest up and try to keep as positive as poss, we all care about you and want you to recover!!!!!

[crystalgaze]

While you may be feeling low.... Hhmm.... I don't think it will last forever.

Please keep up your humor! It may very well help you through this tough time.

& when your depression + anxiety try to act up, well.... I don't know if this will work, but why not try telling it to bug off/lay off you for a bit? (I do so when I'm really on edge or maybe that's the other way around: I'm so on edge I don't have time to deal with it...)

Gosh, I did not realize the snow could be that dangerous.... Oh dear.... I have skidded myself a few times, but I did not fall... Yikes... Now I see what I was missing.... Ouch! You hang in there & post back if you feel low or when you feel up to it!

[TackingIntoTheWind]

Thanks for all the support. Really!!!!
It really means a great deal to me, as I'm feeling very low still, and utterly very alone and isolated. For some reason I find myself thinking of a time when I was very, very, young. ( About 5 years old? ) I was in a department store with my Father and we got got separated, it seemed like forever until my Father found me again, although it could only have been a short time as the basement floor isn't really all that big. But, decades later I still remember how lost and scared and helpless I felt. I find myself feeling the same way now, as if I'm the same frightened five year old child. Lost in a world too indifferent and frightening to be faced, with far too many details too cope with and resolve to ever get back even to where I was when I was starting to put myself together last year.
Sorry to moan, concussion and painkillers really don't help in attempts to achieve the cliched British stiff upper lip, I'm afraid! Still, I need to practice what I preach, so I'm taking all your excellent advice, and it's helping me to get through one moment at a time.
I blush to admit that I've been resorting to heavy-duty feel good TV! I've found a DVD of the first twelve episodes of the fourth season of Ally McBeal in a charity shop for £3.95, and the entire fourth season of The Waltons in a " bargain bin " in a local DVD shop.
I find it comforting that Ally Mcbeal has even more issues than I do! And, if The Waltons doesn't cheer you up, what will! ( I also have season one of Touched By An Angel on DVD, along with Star Trek and Doctor Who ready for moments of sheer despair!!!! )
Basically, I'm just a decades long victim of US cultural Imperialism!!!! Still there's always Doctor Who and Shakespeare, that's British culture!!!!
One step at a time. Afterall, it worked for George Washington........ ( Technically, I should be rooting for Clinton, Gage and Cornwallis, but they were English, rather than Welsh....So, rooting for Washington is sort of not quite treason for a Welshman...I hope....! )
I know that there are people out there with far worse problems than I have, so let's all hang together and keep the hope of better days.

[Mich]

I, too, had been worried about you and wondering what was going on. I am so sorry you have had this accident. I am glad to see that you have got some dvd's to keep you entertained. I used to watch the Walton's as a child...good night John Boy....and used to dream about being in such a large loving family. I used to watch Ally McBeal too. I hope you are able to eat and get in enough fluids especially. Thinking of you....

[crystalgaze]

Tacking.... I'm with you on moving to Morocco!

How are you doing/feeling though?! ((((((((( Tacking ))))))))))

Hugs to you!

[TackingIntoTheWind]

I'm still feeling rather nauseous and headachy at times, and I'm tiring more easily than I usually do. But, the hospital staff and my GP, ( Doctor in General Practice, rather than a medical specialist. ), all seem to be of the opinion that I haven't done myself any lasting harm! Which is a relief!
Apparently, I'll still feel under the weather for a while, but this is fairly normal after a head injury, and these symptoms should fade with time. According to my GP this type of thing is quite common among rugby players. Which is ironic, as I've never played rugby in my life! Given that my present weight is 9 stone 7 pounds, the idea of my playing rugby for Wales is slightly less likely than my becoming President of the United States. ( Theoretically, I could become President of the US if I won an election, and the US Constitution had previously been altered to allow non-American citizens to hold the office of President. However, the idea that Jonah Lomu charging down the rugby field could be stopped by me standing in front of him, is COMPLETELY inconceivable, as it would simply violate the laws of physics!!!! )
I'm hoping to return to work on Monday, as I'm running out of paid sick-leave for this year.
Thanks for all the support! I've been feeling oddly disconnected at the moment. What with the head injury, my anxiety and depression reasserting themselves as a result of my headinjury, and feeling rather as if I've had to cope without any close family I've been feeling rather physically and emotionally knocked back at the moment.
Still, we Welsh are famous for our stubborness! ( And, I've still got my warped sense of humour to fall back on! When I was in hospital I asked one of the nurses if I would be able to play the violin after my head injury. She said that as far as she knew I would be able to do so. I said that was great, as BEFORE my head injury, I hadn't been able to play the violin at all!!!!

[crystalgaze]

~lol~ Yes, please keep your humor & any thing else that is precious to you. Keep them. Don't give them up ever!

(((((((( Tacking ))))))) Ah, I hope you feel much much better soon!

[lisalou]

good luck with returning to work tomorrow, take it easy at first, maybe it will help the 'disconnected' feeling to be back in your normal routine and see people and feel like you're achieving things. Even though as we all know, when you're depressed, EVERYTHING is an achievement!!!

[shatteredhopes]

((((((((((Tacking)))))))) you have the most charming sense of humor! You bring a smile to my face...

In the USA they have something called short-term disability where insurance pays your salary for a short term when your sick benefits expire but you are not able to go back to work yet...do they have anything like that with government benefits perhaps where you are?

Anyway, good luck going back to work...it may be good in a way to be around people and keep busy as being home alone can be depressing in itself, especially when injured or sick...

Anyway, thinking of you! Hang in their friend and we are all rooting for you! Maybe you should sue that nurse for malpractice since you cannot yet play the violin lol.

Wishing you light and peace in your day...

[TackingIntoTheWind]

Thanks for all the support, it really does mean a lot to me! Well, I coped with my first day back at work. It was nice to see the people I work with in our part of the building. The " usual suspects ", as it were!
Although, (((( crystalgaze and shatteredhopes)))) I'm not sure if my co-workers would entirely agree with your kind words about my sense of humour. Afterall, they have to deal with it everyday!!!! ( A friend of mine says that some of my jokes are so old that they cannot be carbon-dated! )(((( Lisalou )))) I am going to take things easy at first, my GP said that I would feel tired, shaky and a bit nauseaous for a while yet, so I'm going to ease my way slowly into what passes for normal life in the British civil service!. Also, perhaps due to my recent head injury, I find myself more and more wondering if perhaps part of my feeling of a certain sense of disconnection at the moment, might stem from a realisation that most people just haven't had the same experiences as I have recently. ( Perhaps, there is someone who is also Welsh, and recovering from a head injury, anxiety, depression, and genetic heamochromatosis at the moment, but I haven't meet him/her yet! Perhaps I'll have to just reconcile myself to being one of a kind! )
Hopefully, I should be OK financially, as long as I can avoid having to take any more sick-leave. ( Assuming I've understood the almost incredibly Delphic civil service regulations on such matters? )
Still, although I'm feeling really washed out this evening, I am back at work, doing a passable impression of a normal person. And that's enough for the first day back. I have a wild night planned. I splurged £25 on the complete DVD box set of the X-Files spinoff, The Lone Gunmen, on Saturday. So I'm going to start watching that tonight, and have an early night in bed.
Although, of course I am deeply indignant that England beats Wales at rugby on Saturday. Apparently, England won on a legalistic technicality. ( England scored more points than Wales! Sigh! )

[crystalgaze]

Tacking, good job with the coping! Just do your best!

((((((((((Tacking))))))))))) Hope you will feel better & better!

Hugs to you!

[shatteredhopes]

You are soooo generous in your support and encouragement of others but rarely post about yourself...its perfectly fine if you don't want to, but just want you to know I and others are here for you if you need to talk!

Just wondering how you are...if you are fully recooperated from your injury, how the depression/anxiety is...have you had the strike at work yet?

I hope you are still batting around some ideas for writing or starting to outline something! And I am glad that the new season of Dr. Who is starting soon!

Mainly friend I just wanted to say thanks for all your support of me and others on the site, and to let you know that we are here for you if you ever need us!

Wishing you light and peace in your day...

[Mich]

I must agree with everyone here on your sense of humour. It is wonderful and always brings a smile to my sour puss face. I look for your comments always as they are so warm and insightful. It would be such a delight to know you "in real life". I hope you are well. Please take care. Mich.