Just started therapy again and struggling

[wisteria]

Long story short cuz I'm new here and anything longer would be more fitting to intro forum BUT I recently started therapy again and wow, its opened pandora's box. Therapy itself is triggering due to a manipulative ex who used it against me to try to convince me that I was crazy. I explained this my therapist during my second session which was good, but despite having so much I want to say during our meetings, all I can do is shut down. Or get incredibly anxious. He says I have a nearly non-existent window of tolerance. Anyway, we've only had 3 meetings so far and here we are the day after our latest and I'm just overwhelmed with negative thoughts. Don't get me wrong, I really like my new therapist so this isn't about him. I'm just struggling to deal with all this crap that I've been repressing thrust back out into my consciousness. I just need to find a place where others can relate so here I am.

[wisteria]

Okay, not a very active place to post apparently, or no one can relate. I'll just chat with myself. Got a call today about a job I had interviewed for. Unfortunately the actual job description was completely different from the one I applied for. I would have never applied for this position as it stands now. Although I said I would think about the offer and get back to them, I fear I would be miserable in the position. I'm just so disappointed and discouraged. It doesn't help that I'm turning 50 next month. I'm so lucky to be alive yet I'm squandering it away. I'm so lucky period yet feel so ungrateful. I'm just a disaster.

[ilovecheetos]

Sometimes, an unexpected opportunity can turn into something good and lead to upward mobility. I hope things worked out for you.

[thomasfrank]

You should allow yourself time to adjust and recognize that it's normal to experience a wide range of emotions.
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[waitattack]

Starting therapy again can feel overwhelming, but it’s important to be patient with yourself. It's a sign of strength that you're willing to face your challenges. Give yourself credit for taking this step,geometry dash and trust that the process will gradually help you feel better.