Depression Understood Forums

this is something very out of my comfort zone but i figured why not. this might be a little all over the place but bear with me. i experienced some trauma when i was younger so because of that, i’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety since 11 years old. (on a happy side note, i’m about to turn 20 on monday! go me!) ive always been the happy girl who was so confident and care free. because of the medication that i’m on, that’s somewhat true, but recently i’ve been feeling myself slowly worsen.
i’m definitely the strong friend. everyone comes to me for advice or to vent or to cry to and i love being that person for my friends! i used to be able to talk to 3 of my best friends about when i would slowly start slipping into my depressive state, but this past time i feel like i can’t talk to any of them. i know they're there for me, but they’re definitely struggling with their own problems and i don’t need to add onto that. i know they love me and care for me deeply but i can’t help but think that i’m annoying them when i go to them about the same old feelings i have. i just feel like i can’t talk to anyone so i resort to writing in my diary and crying myself to sleep. i’ve never had suicidal thoughts, but just thoughts of like i don’t want to wake up, you know? i wouldn’t ever go through with it. but honestly the thought that’s been floating around my head for the past week is, what’s the point anymore? i’m so tired of convincing myself that i’m happy and okay when i’m really not.
thank you to anyone who read <3

I "hear" you and I fully sympathize with how you feel (or think). I (too) used to be considered the "stable" or "straight shooter" among my buddies. At an early age (around 9-11) I began to pull away from my friends. The thoughts I had in no way matched reality and (for me) very quickly resulted in dangerous depressions. I hope your symptoms are not severe like mine, but they seem depressive in a similar manor. If I could share some ideas.... try "gathering" those problem thoughts and keep them in check. The human mind is a powerful tool. Using it to control its self is commonly and often achievable. Our fear, pain, negativity can be overpowered by determination, fearlessness, and confidence. Though this doesn't happen overnight, it does though teach ourselves will-power and self-sufficiency.

Hello,
Advance Happy Birthday!
I’m very sorry you are feeling this way. You can talk to us. Just keep sharing and I’m hoping it will help you to ease the sadness you are going through now.

I pray that you will stay strong and you will overcome depression and anxiety. I hope to hear from you again, take care and God bless.

Hi wonderwallrose,

I see quite a few positives in what you wrote.

For starters, your life is just getting started!

Second, it’s great that you acknowledge that you are not okay. Because you know that you are not okay, you can at least work towards doing something about it, even if right now you don’t know how to accomplish this.

You've got so many years ahead of you to explore ways to find inner peace in your life. How exciting!

Thanks for sharing.

I hope you had a great birthday on Monday.
I completely agree with what everyone else has been saying. I also believe it's worth saying that you shouldn't be afraid of talking to your friends. Never think that your own mental health is less important to them than theirs is to you.
Feel free to talk to us on the forum, but I really think you should also try to talk to your friends as they know you better .
Best of luck, I hope you're feeling better soon!

Hey I know its hard sometimes to deal with what your going through. If your interested please join the Warriors group on facebook!! Were all here to support one another and be there for each other!! Stay strong cause your worth it!! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1472641059570843/

This toothache is absolutely horrible, it makes me very stressed, because i cannot sleep good hours and cannot eat properly. It has gone on for a week now. The dentist hates me, most of the time they are not responsive, when i call, etc. We all go through stressful situations. I am not saying i am any better then you, but i am saying that we should be prepared in dark times, because they will always come.