Depression Understood Forums

It's been over 2 years since I was diagnosed with depression. My psychiatrist never diagnosed me with an anxiety disorder, but I think its because I didnt tell the whole truth. To put it bluntly, on my first day of highschool (a year after I was diagnosed) I was crazy nauseous, dizzy, hot all over, etc. About a day or so later, I think I had a panic attack. (My psychiatrist had asked me if I had ever had one before and I said I wasn't really sure what counted as a panic attack and we never really talked about it again.) Anyways, that day I tried to kill myself before my ride picked me up for school. But I was scared of failing and after a half hour pacing in my garage I went back in the house to get ready for school. I didn't tell anyone and I think I've pushed that memory so far back in my mind, that I have forgotten about it for weeks if not months at a time. I know the first day of highschool is always the worst since the whole middle school transition can be rough. But I really don't want to go through that again. I'm not suicidal anymore but I dont want to re enter that mindset.

Are there any tips to deal with anxiety that have worked for you?

Hi Ms.Sheep,

I am sorry you are going through so much at the moment, especially with all the added stress of school.

I used to have anxiety so severe that it took me several hours to muster up the courage to leave the house. I couldn’t even go the letterbox because the anxiety was that bad.

Over time, the anxiety lessened. What I did was to “just do it.” In other words, I would stop thinking about it and just do what needed to be done—in this case, to get out of the house. I would get dressed and leave the house each day to get into a routine, even if to just walk down the road and back. I just quickly opened the door, walked out and down the road before I had the chance to panic and talk myself out of it.

I’m not quite sure if that will be useful in your particular situation. If I am correct in interpreting what you wrote, you’re anxiety is school-related, in particular failing?

If this is so, I think the concept of “just doing it” still applies. Also, perhaps try not to OVERthink, and take deep breaths to calm yourself.

I find it helps to put things into proper perspective. I have also had anxiety in the past over failure... BIG time. What I did to overcome this was to redefine what failure means. The definition I like is: we only fail when we stop trying.

When I was anxious about my grades, I would change how I thought about it. Not getting a high distinction for my essays would send me bonkers. Even earning a distinction would send me into fits of rage, I would try to negotiate a better grade with the teachers, ask how I can get a HD next essay, and end up with so much anxiety of “failing” that I would almost quit. To me, anything less than a HD was a failure and inexcusable.

I knew that I needed to start thinking about it differently. If I quit university because of the grades, THEN I would have failed. So I just needed to keep trying, no matter what.

Second, I can’t realistically get a HD for every essay for every subject consistently. A HD requires high quality work, which takes time, hard work, and high standards--not to mention you need to know the subject matter fairly well. There would be times when I would sometimes get a distinction or a credit to a lesser extent. But, as painful as it was, it was great for character building and it meant that there was room for improvement.

I began to think of it in terms of not failure but a challenge and an opportunity to improve myself and my grades.

So perhaps try to change the way you view things. If we view things in a distorted way, we feel depressed and anxious. View things for what they are, not for what they are not. Does that last sentence make sense? Is that even a thing? I just made it up. Sounds profound, so it might work

I hope this gives you something to mediate on for your situation.

Ms.Sheep wrote:It's been over 2 years since I was diagnosed with depression. My psychiatrist never diagnosed me with an anxiety disorder, but I think its because I didnt tell the whole truth. To put it bluntly, on my first day of highschool (a year after I was diagnosed) I was crazy nauseous, dizzy, hot all over, etc. About a day or so later, I think I had a panic attack. (My psychiatrist had asked me if I had ever had one before and I said I wasn't really sure what counted as a panic attack and we never really talked about it again.) Anyways, that day I tried to kill myself before my ride picked me up for school. But I was scared of failing and after a half hour pacing in my garage I went back in the house to get ready for school. I didn't tell anyone and I think I've pushed that memory so far back in my mind, that I have forgotten about it for weeks if not months at a time. I know the first day of highschool is always the worst since the whole middle school transition can be rough. But I really don't want to go through that again. I'm not suicidal anymore but I dont want to re enter that mindset.

Are there any tips to deal with anxiety that have worked for you?

Dealing with depression and anxiety at the same time is really, really rough.

I honestly don't think that I won this battle, but there are some things that helped me for a while when it comes to anxiety.
I am basically afraid of everything. I have sometimes horrible panic attacks and in this situations, if I feel like I am completely loosing control over myself, I take some medication. I used to see a psychiatrist (more psychiatrists, actually) and they've changed my medication over the years for several times. So I stopped taking their medication because it didn't help me at all, but I bought something which is made of plants. And in extreme situations these pills really helped me.

But I am trying so hard not to take them too often. So I tried doing other things to cope with my anxiety.
1. Giving myself some time to think. If I try to push those bad thoughts somewhere deep inside my head there is a chance that those thoughts will explode later. So I like to hear my thoughts clearly and see what they have to say. For example, when I was in high school I used to struggle with anxiety when I had to present something in front of others. So, one day, I listened to that thought and I talked to it. How? Like this: I am afraid to talk in front of people. Why? Because I am afraid that I will do something wrong and they will laugh at me. But why do you think you'll say something wrong? Because I tend to ruin things... This conversation actually happened inside my head and I continued it by putting more questions and by encouraging myself until I felt a little bit confident. And it helped me with this particular fear. I realized that I was afraid of failure and I tried to see it in a positive way. See, we use to run from pain. We use to run from bad experiences. We use to run from failure. But these are the ONLY ONES that make us grow. So, instead of thinking that failure is bad because it shows that I am not capable of doing anything and that I should give up already, I begun to think that failure is GOOD because it shows that I have more things to learn in order to become the best version of me that I can be.

2. Giving myself some time to breathe. This helps me all the time when I have panic attacks that are not so strong. I am truly afraid of people, especially men (because of some things which happened in the past). And being around people is too hard for me sometimes. So when I feel that I am about to have another panic attack, I form a circle with my hands and I pretend that that circle is actually a barrier that ensures me I have my own personal space and that no one will be able to hurt me. And then I start to just breathe until I feel safe.

3. Art. I have to pour my negativity into something. Which is why art has helped me with my mental health more than anything else. Sometimes only words can describe how I feel. So I write. Sometimes only pencils can describe how I feel. So I draw. Sometimes only colors can describe how I feel. So I paint. And so on. No, you do not need some extraordinary talent for this. You just have to be yourself, do what you feel, face that negativity and, somehow, let it out.

4. Pray. I don't know if you believe in God or not, but praying really helps me in ways that I can not even explain.

These are the only tips I can think of right now. The most effective ones. At least for me.

I'm so sorry if this comment was a little bit long. I really hope that it helped you.

Stay strong, take care and don't give up.

Searching Freedom,

Those suggestions were VERY good. Thank you for sharing them.

You certainly are a creative person, from writing your prose to finding ways to cope with your anxiety. Those suggestions were both creative and practical. I'm sure many people are going to find value in them.

I like the suggestion of the internal dialogue--asking yourself "why" then attempting to answer it, and to keep digging until you find why you're feeling anxious. And this goes in line with what Phil McGraw (Dr. Phil) often quotes: "You can't change what you don't acknowledge."

Anxiety tends to take away our control. I think the suggestions you made is a great way for us to get back that feeling of being in control when we are feeling anxious.

The circle with your hands is creative and is also a great way to put us back in the driver's seat when we are feeling anxious.

Thank you once again for sharing. I will certainly try these out when I feel tense or anxious about something. I will leave feedback if or when I do try it. I would be interested in seeing the feedback from other people, too, if they have tried it and found it to be useful in their situation.

Spleefy,
Hi again!
Please tell me if you will use one of these someday. I hope it will help you but even if it won’t, I’d like you to give us a feedback.
I loved the quote from Dr Phil, I’ve never heard it!

Hi Searching Freedom!!

I will definitely give feedback on those strategies if I do try them out. I copied and pasted your suggestions in a word document to quickly find it when I need it.

I have tried Dr Phil’s strategies in the past. Now that I have spirituality and Jehovah God in my life, I find that I have less need for secular-derived sources.

However, I will say that I do revere Dr Phil’s life strategies. I think his advice is fantastic, and I think there is merit to his direct, no nonsense approach. His therapy style isn't for everyone, but it resonates with me because I don't like being miserable and don't want problems to exist in my life any longer than is necessary. I prefer to just hit my problems head on, direct and hard. I think this mentality developed owing to spending a good chunk of my life depressed. I can't get those years back, so I am making up for it now.

Dr Phil is also known for his catchphrase words, including “you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.” It might be worth your while to look them up. You know the saying: “A picture is worth a thousand words”? Well, I find that Phil’s one sentence quotes achieve the same thing.

I will leave you a link in case you are interested…

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/dr-phi ... anged-life

I had a few of his books, one of which was called… Life Strategies: Doing What works, Doing What matters. I also got the companion workbook. I’m not sure if I kept the books. I think I donated it, along with the many other self-help books I owned. Once I got a tablet and installed the bible on it, I was set. But I still think Dr Phil’s advice is a powerful game changer.

I'm so sorry you've been through this, and really proud of you for trying to prevent getting worse again. You're being strong and taking care of yourself and that's great.

As far as tips, I'm a huge reader so honestly it empties and calms my mind to get involved in stories. There's also a lot of great content out there for dealing with depression and anxiety, I was just reading this article recently: https://bit.ly/2MPvlpn and I think it might help you.

You're in my prayers.

I dealt with depression for 25 years. Anxiety too. Its tough and my heart goes out to you. I have found that taking deep breaths really helps me. I know sounds simple but when we take a deep breath we are getting more oxygen because the bottom of our lungs holds a lot of the good stuff. Also if you are working with a therapist hopefully they are helping you get to the root of your anxiety and depression. For me it was all Jesus that helped heal me and I have been free for over 10 years. I am praying for you and hope school is getting a little easier day by day. -Rachel

Do yoga or meditation. That actually helps you instill positivity inside you. It will calm you down and make you more productive. Also, another way could be to get yourself an emotional support animal. It actually helps. Good health.