Depression Understood Forums

I'm still an undiagnosed person who lives with what I believe to be dysthymia/chronic depression. Today was a very low day for me. I had gotten woken up this morning by my sister because she doesn't take into account that people are sleep. I wasn't able to go back to sleep so I made breakfast and then quickly retreated back to my bed. About an hour later of lying there I had finally told a guy that I want him out of my life, because he only used me for sex, and he didn't apologize or anything so that left me feeling very very anxious. I laid there for two hours hoping he'd message me back and during that time I felt very anxious, hopeless, unloved, angry and I had serious thoughts of ending my life. I decided to take a nap to escape my troubles, I'm now awake and I still lie in bed hoping he'll respond. I feel more at ease, but I definetly still feel hopeless and alone. I always try and tell myself that someone who truly loves me will come into my life and treat me awesome, but I'd just have to wait for it. But I keep finding myself going back to guys who just use me.

Do you activly seek bad guys? if so, that is the issue, and then activly seek to find out why your drawn to them. I too have been suffering from depression for more than most of my life, and still am, but this way of thinking has helped me so far, not an instant cure, but its working